The Flop House

Clean up in your Oscar pool the scientific way!

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 3:41 - We introduce guest host extraordinaire Will Hines.3:42 - 33:37 - What happens when the American election comes down to JUST ONE VOTE?  Wait.  You say that would never happen?  Shit.  Then what are we gonna do about this Swing Vote movie?  I guess we should just make fun of it.33:38 - 38:23 - Final judgments.  Plus: the weirdest joke ever to appear on The Flop House.38:24 - 51:09 - Letters from listeners.51:10 - 58:26 - The sad bastards recommend.58:27 - 59:17 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Dan was on vacation this week, and he owns all the recording equipment.  So, until next week's new episode, please enjoy this re-run.

We make up for our lost movie minute with our longest supplemental episode yet, about how the Oscars are always wrong.

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 22:00 - Watch out for Nicholas Cage. That motherfucker is BANGKOK Dangerous.22:01 - 34:35 - We get bored of talking about Bangkok Dangerous, and quickly digress into talk of AVP2, pornography, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Zombie Strippers, Return of the Jedi, and Hitman (with a little more Bangkok Dangerous thrown in as anti-spice)34:36 - 39:28 - Final judgments39:30 - 46:59 - Letters from listeners.47:00 - 52:35- The sad bastards recommend.52:36 - 53:54 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

0:00 - 0:31 - Introduction and theme0:32 - 2:00 - We reintroduce ourselves, after our long winter's nap.2:01 - 33:51- In the long tradition of dance films, this is certainly one of them.33:52 - 36:40 - Final judgments36:41 - 43:25 - Letters from listeners.43:26 - 54:33 - The sad bastards recommend, New Year's special - our top five films of the year.54:34 - 55:50 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes

Christmas specials under the microscope.The music you hear in this episode is Hark the Herald Angels sing, as performed by Doug Hammer on the album Noel, courtesy of feelslikechristmas.com, which provides free Christmas music for personal and nonprofit use.

0:00 - 0:34 - Introduction and theme.0:35 - 5:04 - We spend the first five minutes talking about a movie about toys that WASN'T the one we watched, released more than a decade ago.5:05 - 11:14 - We make a brief feint at discussing Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, but quickly get sidetracked by Willy Wonka and old-time character actors.11:15 - 35:41 - We finally manage to focus on the topic at hand, the horrifying tale of a sentient toy store and its insane inhabitants.  What's that?  It's a kids' film? ...You sure?35:42 - 40:05 - Final judgments.40:06 - 44:10 - Copyright infringement, listener mail, and discussion of nude Lea Thompson.44:11 - 46:34 - The MOST IMPORTANT SEGMENT EVER.46:35 - 54:38 - The sad bastards recommend.54:39 - 58:30 - Goodbyes, outtakes, and theme.

More trailers for the biggest winter releases.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:15 - Mustaches are much discussed.2:16 - 32:22 - We talk about the Katherine Heigel rom-com 27 Dresses, and show our affinity for the material by staying on-topic almost never.  Also: boobs.32:23 - 36:30 - Final judgments, in which 27 Dresses manages to SHATTER the Flop House categories.36:31 - 46:17 - The sad bastards recommend.  Plus, we learn another famous person Elliott has had tangential interactions with.  And also: even more boobs.46:18 - 48:46 - November-December is Flop House listener pledge drive season - but you don't have to pay us in cash-- just recruit new listeners.48:47 - 51:30 - We write the great lost sex comedy, "Lustache."51:31 - 52:55 - Goodbyes, theme, outtakes, and a whole heck of a lot more boobs.

We present this alternate, much shorter, version of the Al Pacino film 88 Minutes.

0:00 - 0:30 - Introduction and theme.0:31 - 5:02 - We explain why we're the dynamic duo this week, and talk about how much we miss Stuart.  Also: we engage in the name-droppiest name dropping yet, as Elliott tells the story of the time he met PRESIDENT ELECT BARACK OBAMA.5:03 - 32:52 - We talk about 88 Minutes, the movie that is a worse example of real-time filmmaking than Nick of Time, and a far worse example of post-mortem semen-swapping than Presumed Innocent.32:53 - 37:25 - Final judgments, plus a brief side-track into dream analysis.37:26 - 45:43 - The sad bastards recommend.  45:43 - 46:32 - We talk about Stuart some more.  Jeez!  Why don't us guys get a room, already!46:33 - 49:03 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

Stuart's harrowing tale of survival is now a zany comedy starring Seth Rogan.

0:00 - 0:39 - Introduction and theme.0:40 - 41:28 - It's a Flop House event!  We've been waiting so long for the DVD release for M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening that we jump right in and don't stop talking about it for forty minutes.  (Would I call it a "Flop House happening?"  No.  That would be dumb.)41:29 - 44:17 - Final judgments on The Happening.44:18 - 48:30 - What the heck.  Final judgments on M. Night, too.48:31 - 56:40 - The sad bastards recommend. 56:41 - 58:26 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

In the first edition of Name Droppin', Elliott talks about working with Ian McShane.

0:00 - 0:37 - Introduction and theme.0:38 - 1:54 - The whole team is back together again, so to celebrate they ramble off-topic for a while.1:55 - 37:13 - We talk about Prom Night, a shocking expose about the incompetence of the Bridgeport police department.37:14 - 40:35 - Final judgments.40:36 - 49:27 - We explain why we haven't had the Flop House contest winner on, announce a winner of the Ewe Boll contest, and Dan shamelessly plugs his own project.49:28 - 52:54 - The sad bastards recommend. 52:55 - 54:30 - Goodbyes, theme, outtakes, and many, many sound effects

We give you directions on how to make your own Flop House at home.

What do you get when Stuart is out of town on vacation, Elliott is busy transitioning from one high-stress television comedy job to another high-stress television comedy job, and Dan is having Internet problems?  A rerun!  Hey, at least we don't do it as much as LOST.  (Well, as much as they used to... before their uninterrupted seasons... lets pretend that joke was still relevant and move on). In this, one of our favorite episodes, we discussed Bratz-- a movie that was so unexpectedly delightful in its badness that it became the gold standard for Flop House film ratings.  Enjoy.

0:00 - 0:32 - Introduction and theme.0:33 - 2:45 - We welcome back Elliott Kalan, make fun of Stuart, and reintroduce Ritch Duncan.2:46 - 40:22 - We make up for our spottily-released late summer shows by making this our second-longest episode ever and spending far too much time discussing Wild Hogs-- possibly more than the screenwriter took to write it.40:23 - 44:30 - Final judgments.44:31 - 49:10 - We congratulate Elliott on some huge news, and spend a little time discussing the Ewe Boll contest (with a brief R.I.P. for Dan's local video rental place).49:11 - 55:56 - The sad bastards recommend.55:57 - 57:28 - Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

We honor the modern-day Ed Wood with a contest.