Clean Sheets Podcast

Ryan returns from doing everything there is to do in Orlando: swimming with alligators, shopping at Publix, stuffing a pig, attending his first MLS match and tailgating with Sean the Swan and his brother, Nick Nack. The Sheeters recap Ryan's birthday extravaganza and preview the Confederations Cup, USMNT friendlies and World Cup qualifier while lamenting custom jerseys jumping the shark. Also, Clean Sheets salutes the generous people who donated a total of $38,000 to send military veterans to USA vs Mexico. Holy crap! Arizona United SC gets a SHUT OUT against Vancouver Whitecaps 2, Kia yells at ladies, and the Copper State Casuals unite with La Furia Roja 1881 to express their support of farting in elevators. Also, there was a trumpet. Finally, Clean Sheets Podcast is prepared to sponsor dates with Sean the Swan and Ruffles. Women of soccer, gird your loins.    

After a long hiatus, Ryan returns to the studio with the nefarious Darth Deal filling in for Kia. The dastardly duo discuss America's Gold Cup collapse, soccer in NFL stadiums and Klinsy's job security. In Arizona United SC news, Clean Sheets asks, "Who sucked the noise out of Scottsdale Stadium" and examines the link between winning and supporter's group attendance.  Darth Deal teaches Ryan all about Fantasy Soccer, and Ryan asks Darth Deal all about his dating life, which is surprisingly active yet wholesome. Ryan regales us with a tale of his greatest Friend With Benefits, and Kia relished editing the whole mess. Can AZ United ever become "lovable losers?" Will Ryan ever get his dream of a Supporter's Cup tournament? What's in Darth Deal's freezer? Learn these answers and more in this week's Clean Sheets Podcast.

How far should you keep a Tyrannasaurus enclosure from the City Walk? Can a raptor's arms reach its own back? Why would anyone take a shock stick to a Indominous Rex fight? And is this just a remake of "Deep Blue Sea?"  The Sheeters answer these questions and more in a bonus Clean Sheets Podcast movie review that'll pop your corn, hot your dog and kill 15 minutes.

After betting against Arizona United SC, Sean the Swan has his chest waxed on the air .... by Ryan, leading to nipple talk and contempt for the tiny nips of Real Monarchs SLC goalkeeper Lalo Fernandez. Arizona United cobbles together a two-win streak while the U.S. Women's National Team advances its Women's World Cup campaign to face the mighty Germany.  Kia predicts a German victory, while Ryan and special guest Cole Cafarella see American winning late in the match. They all agree Mesa native Julie Johnston is best American player on the pitch. With Japan and England still in the mix, it's like a repeat of World War II. The boys discuss presidential resignations at both American Outlaws Phoenix and La Furia Roja 1881, recap AOPHX Bar Crawl 2.0 and wonder how AOPHX superfan Todd W. Smith blew out his knee playing Ping-Pong.

As the U.S. Women's National Team charges boldly past Colombia into a Women's World Cup matchup with China's Steel Roses, the Sheeters discuss toilet paper dispenser etiquette, co-workers who don't watch soccer, sports bras, losing to winners and why urinals mean Ryan can't have an iPhone 6 Plus. Arizona United finally ends its long skid with a win against Seattle Sounders 2, but hardly anyone is there to see it, and La Furia Roja 1881 keeps getting better (but forgets Megan's name). Ryan and Kia do booze arithmetic to calculate who was drunker and gasp at the deteriorating quality of Uber drivers and the Scottsdale Stadium pitch.  Also, dear listeners, remember to always carry $15 cash in case you break a stranger's shoe.

Soccer moves from the field to the court as Sheeter attorney Steve Anthony guides Ryan and Kia through the labyrinth of FIFA arrests and the wacky world of Hope Solo's trip to jail. The Sheeters cover Israeli-Palestinian relations, Papago Brewing and the problem with single-named Brazilian footballers. It's another loss for Arizona United SC, but things are looking better. And the boys give a little love to supporter groups La Furia Roja and Copper State Casuals. Plus KIND WORDS FOR RNR? Sorta. Ryan regales Kia with tales from horrid Winnipeg, where he met Abby Wambach's wife and discovered other American Outlaws chapters really, really like denim. Kia counters with a report from the AOPHX bar crawl. And they sob over the tragic American elimination from the U-20 World Cup. In other news, Rachel Bonnetta might be stalking Ryan. The Sheeters also run through a quick roundup of rivalries in this week's Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup action.   

Guest Host Blake Moreland (aka JazzyHands15) is back in the Clean Sheets Studio with Ryan to interview former college teammate, and current starting GK for Tulsa Roughnecks FC, Zac Lubin.  The Sheeters chat with Zac about growing up playing soccer in Montana as well as the emerging Oklahoma Soccer rivalry between Tulsa and Oklahoma City before sharing a personal story about cowboy hats, banana hammocks, and chocolate pudding. RECORDED 2015-06-07

American Outlaws Phoenix officers Dan "Dano" Crawley and Cole Cafarella join the Sheeters as they discuss Hope Solo, the Women's World Cup, U-20 World Cup and Toulon Tournament. Return guest Blake Moreland pours fire on the sizzling conversation that spans from motorcycle crashes to condom fits.  As Kia and Ryan compare soccer supporter groups and hail the emergence of the Copper State Casuals, the entire sausage fest chews on the big question: What heppens to American soccer when it goes mainstream? Did we mention Dano gets super drunk in this episode?

**US Soccer Summer Special Interview** The Summer of 2015 is shaping up to be one of the busiest for US Soccer between the Women's World Cup, the Men's Gold Cup, the U20's World Cup and the U23's various Tournaments.  Ryan sits down with Dan Wiersema of the American Outlaws, the largest unofficial United States National Team Supporters Group that can be typically be found creating a loud, dedicated and passionate atmosphere at all games.   In addition to being President of his local "AO" Austin Chapter, Dan helps run communications for American Outlaws National, works with MLS social media and keeps up with the Free Beer Movement, which he founded in 2009 to help grow American Soccer across the nation.   This summer, Dan is in charge of the logistics for American Outlaws at the Women's World Cup in Canada. He takes a break from packing his bags for Winnipeg to provide details on the AO parties, explain tailgating is illegal in Canada, and convert all his marching measuremen

On the eve of it's summer season, Arizona Impact joins Ryan and Kia in studio to talk about how indoor soccer is different, why you should watch it and which Impact player you never should sleep with. Impact owner Patrick Fisher, midfielder Eddie Hertsenberg and defender Matt Marek also reflect on what it takes to be a great indoor soccer player and the teams future plans.

It's a Blatter Buster special as Ryan and Kia take a big, steaming bite of the FIFA bribery scandal (while sipping on Ruffles' infamous Shock Top Honeycrisp Apple Wheat).  This week's hot topics include what AOPHX President Tony Hernandez does for a living, the appropriateness of undershirts, Phoenix Comic Con, Ryan's #laborfruits and the finer points of baby showers. Kia recaps Arsenal's FA Cup championship and the AZ Gooners' subsequent bar crawl. Ryan counters with tales of beer pong from Dearth Deal's Sepp Blatter re-election party. And the boys debate who's the better cook: Superman or Batman. In soccer news, the Sheeters cheer America's success in the U-20 World Cup, lament the U-23 team's poor Toulon Tournament start and worry about the USWNT's performance heading into the Women's World Cup. Speaking of worrying, both Arizona United SC and the braco Guapos of Chula Vista suffer harsh defeats, and Clint Dempsey scores a sorta-goal to vex Blake "Jazzyhands" Moreland. Oh, and Ryan fin

Devala Gorrick is a sportsman, a man of the world, and quite possibly the Sheeters favorite human. He's also beat Arizona United SC twice this season.  He was gracious enough to sit down with Kia and Ryan (via Google Hangout) the Monday after the first win over AZ United to discuss his life on and off the pitch, soccer hecklers, as well as share a very touching personal story that ultimately made him a stronger individual.  (Recorded 5/12/2015)

The Sheeters' prayers are answered as Arizona United SC Owner Kyle Eng joins Ryan and Odeen on a deluxe-length interview that covers everything from Coach Michael Dellorusso's job security to whether Kia can have a hug. Local soccer stud Blake Moreland, aka JazzyHands15, guest hosts as the boys discuss tubing the Salt River, the marketing genius behind Push Pops, the history of Prescott and Ryan's love of corsets. Sunspot Gold is the beer of the week, and Arizona United's Clean Sheet losses to Chula Vista FC and the Colorado Switchbacks are lamented. Kia takes a moment to open fire on La Furia Roja's Erik Lankford, just before Ryan and Blake inform their idiot friend that Erik is, in fact, an OK guy. On a brighter note, the Sheeters look forward to conveniently scheduled USWNT matches and upcoming watch parties and enjoy Odeen's smooth, sultry voice one last time.

Clean Sheets Podcast is on the road! The Sheeters highjack a 15-passenger van and fill it up with their closest pod friends (Ruffles, Sean the Swan, Frat Boy Colby) and foes (Darth Deal) on the way to Carson, California to watch the US Women's National Team take on Mexico. Ryan questions his decisions to allow Sean the Swan to interact with celebrities and soccer stars.Kia learns that dressing as Abraham Lincoln has its advantages. The Sheeters break down the another dominating performance by the Lady Yanks, share tales of placing CSP stickers all over Southern California, discuss Arizona United's first home victory in Scottsdale Stadium, and much, much more in this extra long episode recorded on location from a beach house in Hermosa Beach. (recorded 05-17-2015)

It's "Soccer Fun Time with Ryan & Kia on Clean Sheets Pod" without Odeen who spent the weekend doing responsible adult things in San Francisco. Deprived of their soccer oracle, the duo recap Arizona United's 1-1 draw versus the Tulsa Roughnecks while providing mediocre soccer analysis.  Kia rehashes his weekend kayaking trip spent camping underneath an interstate with Caitlin barely escaping death by the dreaded tarantula hawk. Ryan provides best practices on how to avoid the pitfalls of motorcycle helmet hair while attending USWNT watch parties. Kia's been kicked out of LFR1881, Ryan loathes American's use of the word "DARBY", Odeen may be leaving the Podcast permanently, and the Sheeters (-1) compare the plotline of "Jurassic World" to "Deep Blue Sea". #SaveOdeen(recorded 5/10/15)

Happy Birthday Ruffles! (aka Chris Larson)  The Sheeters dive right into Arizona United's 3rd straight loss and discuss whether or not it's time for a coaching change.  Ryan and Kia share best practices on the proper way to heckle opposing goalkeepers and 9-year old ball boys. Odeen recaps the CONCACAF CCL final between Montreal Impact & Club America and proclaims FC Dallas' Fabian Castillo is an early-season MVP candidate with Jedi-like skills. Ryan stalks Rachel Bonnetta on Periscope, Kia is off his cleanse, and the Sheeters plan to sponsor Soccer Streakers in Scottsdale Stadium. (recorded 5/3/2015)

Despite Arizona United SC losing its home opener, the Sheeters gush over the Scottsdale Stadium experience and La Furia Roja's pre-party at Brat Haus. Ryan dresses as a potato; Odeen breaks down what went wrong and suggests an AZU ilne shift. Jon Fish and Tyce Hildebrant of American Outlaws Las Vegas tell us about Sin City's USL hopes and make a top-secret announcement. Kia tells a tale of exile from Yucca Tap Room and makes friends with CHELSEA FANS? Odeen introduces the world to the Mexicutioner, and the boys discuss CONCACAF implications for Montreal Impact's draw.

  Ryan experiences the thrill of MLS Live's Rachel Bonneta and the misery of a vehicle break-in as he visits San Antonio for USMNT's Dos A Cero victory over Mexico.  Odeen analyzes Arizona United Soccer Club's first defeat of the year, and Kia laments choosing the La Furia Roja watch party over the official AZU watch party. The Sheeters take a look forward to the CONCACAF Champions League Final and USWNT matchups on the way to Women's World Cup. 

This week's episode explores fart pianos, the origin of twinkletoes, Arizona United's 3-0-0 start, USMNT vs Mexico, and the worst/best mascots of all time.

Rob Ozborne, known for his comic book work and U.S. Men's National Team match day posters, joins the Sheeters in studio to talk about the inspiration for his presidential outlaw portraits and his work on upcoming Star Wars promotional art.