Who Am I Really?

Vonni learned from the neighbor’s child that she was adopted, but she was too young to know what it really meant. In her teen years, the yearning to understand her adoption led her on a journey an hour away to the adoption agency for her non-identifying information. It contained a horrible terrible story, that seemed to be questionable according to the social worker who documented her adoption. In the years that followed, Vonni continued to drive a long way to search the yearbook archives for her birth mother, only to be linked with her birth father first. When she found him he wasn’t interested in knowing Vonni, until his fond memories of her birth mother kicked in and they figured out she was a different daughter than he thought. He identified Vonni’s biological mother, and within months Vonni had met both parents.   Read Full TranscriptVonnie:                       00:

Tim was adopted into a Lutheran family and his curiosity about his roots started when he was very young. When he met his biological mother, she portrayed her husband as Tim’s father, but the truth came out when her daughters suggested a different version of the truth. It wasn’t until Tim’s early 70’s that he made paternal links and solved the mysteries of his life Read Full TranscriptTim:                            00:01               So they were staying with me and then they brought me along to the convention, into the Party afterwards and brought me to the party and these are old friends of theirs saying, well, who is this? Who is this? And again, they played the kind of joke routine, oh, he’s the, he’s relative doesn’t he, look like us, don’t you think he looks like us

Mitch’s parents adopted his older brother, then him. Then they got a surprise addition to the family. They had a great life outside of Chicago, but Mitch did feel somewhat sidelined by the attention paid to his youngest sibling. He learned as a teen that not everyone in his family was supportive of adoptions, and his attempts at reunion have been a frustrating set of rejections. The post 039 – I’m An Adult, But They’re Acting Like Children appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Mitch (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LIphgoyaHcbSN03BMZFuOIgijbi2RAsIcBtPAirJnSIfm1inQmZ69jRYf_bcYNIoK26I9R9apIk9ntkyDjWeunn8Htc?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.25 (00:03)): And I pulled up my shirt and I pointed to my belly button and I said, I don't know who this was attached to you do. You can look at yours and you know exactly who yours was attached to. I have never, in 45 years been in the same room as the woman that mine was attached to. I don't know who she is. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/LIphgoyaHcbSN03BMZFuO

As a kid, Rebecca was considered quirky. Unbeknownst to her, that quirkiness was an after effect of fetal alcohol syndrome. She tells the story of learning her birth mother’s lonely and troubled past, and the closure she finally got after she learned of her mother’s death. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/027-got-picture-mothers-sadness-though-people/ (027 – I Got A Picture Of My Mother’s Sadness Though Other People) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Rebecca (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/60Om6hfRU-PbCnhCogsqti4gALRy5FI1j1qFL8Gw9-Qcgeh0KJGGCl4fPFbK2ktFGpCkelob3nBwt9t5SDlqtB5KOsM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=3.03 (00:03)): I went to bed that night and I woke up and I went back to the picture and I'm like, Oh my God. I was like, that's exactly how I looked in high school. Voices (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/60Om6hfRU-PbCnhCogsqti4gALRy5FI1j1qFL8Gw9-Qcgeh0KJGGCl4fPFbK2ktFGpCkelob3nBwt9t5SDlqtB5KOsM?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=16.71 (00:16)): Who am

Laura became a dear friend when we quickly bonded over being adoptees while working together. Laura had been searching for her family of origin for years, before the age of the internet, and the promise of consumer DNA testing linking long lost relatives. In this episode Laura reveals her childhood challenges to bond with her adopted family who were open about her adopted status in unhealthy ways. Their mental health issues and the emotional childhood that Laura lived, drove her desire to find her family origin, as the wondered about her biological mother every day. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/002-laura-r/ (002 Laura R – When the Law is in the Way, Try DNA) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Laura:                          https://www.temi.com/editor/t/BZSvbPJpWyD2WllJZhjAVI1LlI2tB8TobcLo78q5MF4ZTvQWecn8hS7j7

For Shelby, growing up as a Korean adoptee left her feeling “othered” as she didn’t quite fit into her community. The Korean school her parents tried to raise her in wouldn’t accept her either. She was forced to live in between her culture and what Americans would or would not let her be. On a heritage trip to South Korea she experienced the heavy emotions of reunion with her birth mother, the challenge of remaining a secret, and witnessed the frustrations of her brother who couldn’t locate his biological family. Shelby also gained a real compassion for her adopted mother whose reasons for adopting brought Shelby and her mother closer together. This is Shelby’s journey. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/106-beautiful-truth/ (106 – Beautiful Truth) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Shelby (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/tExgVbjLnQ9sOuRzYQsSQ9q4pQ_uXUHKeOPuUZNCH2zYs43r0DaF4uPW786FXmXhG5jJ3jzEHexaX2W54SfE0ypJANI?loa

Breanna learned that she was fostered then adopted but for financial gain and she described her home as a hostile environment. Her adopted mother was abusive, and Breanna ultimately ran away from home to the military. But before bootcamp she contacted her birth mother, and learned the hard truth about her conception. In reunion, she was forced to watch her birth father’s judgment for his actions. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/102-its-always-maybe/ (102 – It’s Always Maybe) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Breanna (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/gCp8NHpfktv-TCqezrN49J0XPmPNu5uQpHktXXL3X8r7Hv5gqtD5g3Pyx2Hyyy-uJhUuyBeP92u6J6BRHgRL3vzwlEs?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=5.77 (00:05)): She feels really guilty and I think that's why she doesn't want me to hate her. She thinks that I should hate her and I don't hate her. It does make me angry now that like you're wasting time. We could be like, we could be going forward, but like I don't h

Singer Song writer Jenni Alpert, commonly referred to by her birth name, Cami had a wonderful life supported by her adoptive parents as she pursued the performing arts. After her adoptive father passed away, she learned that her biological mother had too. Her maternal connections went well over time, but her paternal side remained a mystery. Locating her birth father was one thing… doing reconnaissance, ensuring her safety, and tapping into over a decade of her various volunteer experiences with people who’s lives were in the streets was something different. In their story you’ll hear the dedication of a daughter who found her birth father down and out, accepted him as he was , and worked hard to find a pathway for them to reunite and share their love of music. This is Jenni’s journey. Photo:Cami (aka Jenni Alpert) and her birth father Don Photo credit: Jeff Fasano  Here’s a link to the news story I referenced: https://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/video/father-and-daughter-duo-reunited-in-song

After 52 years in adoption, Mary never had a desire to locate her birth family. Her feeling was they had given her up, so she didn’t really want to share how well she turned out. Still, Mary obtained her non-identifying information in 1999, to satisfy medical history curiosity. On Christmas eve 2017 she emailed her birth mother who replied within hours, and the two were connected. The only thing left was to reach out to her birth father, who didn’t know she was alive. The post 054 – I Just Want To Sit And Be At Peace appeared first on Who Am I...Really? Podcast. Mary (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo91-fB1cWqF1fQw0XMJz8M3tqAVjiSlXEa1AnfdNmlcwocRrTa7pizC0sNInU_M?loadFrom=SharedLink&ts=4.19 (00:04)): I can tell you that the relationship that I'm developing with her is beyond what I ever thought it would be. And it's almost like I just want to sit and be at peace with this before I open up something else. Damon (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/u3tkCT1A-xZd3ns2nGXdmURcwjrRo9

Rebecca always knew she was adopted, but she also recognized that she didn’t quite fit with her adopted family. While she loved them a lot, she noticed physical and personality differences between them. She was taller with a different skin tone than them. She’s an extrovert raised by introverts and she calls herself a circuitous thinker that was raised by linear thinkers. When her own child was born, then got sick, Rebecca thought to herself “I’ve got to find these people” and began her reunion journey. But the laborious process to try to uncover identifying information in Washington, D.C. is closed adoption system seemed to be a daunting task, especially after her child got well. Rebecca says that she wasn’t really looking for her relatives at the time reunion found her. A friend of hers, who is also an adoptee, had extra DNA test that she was sending off to people as part of her own search, so she gave Rebecca a spare test. After reading through her biological connections on AncesteryDNA she was able to fin

With extra time on her hands, Jennifer used a Search Angel to locate her biological relatives. She connected with her maternal Aunt over Facebook Messenger, simultaneously emailing her birth father using his contact info from LinkedIn. Hoping for a connection to her biological mother, the pendulum swung in the other direction after her mother rejected her. Jennifer recovered almost immediately with a loving connection to her biological father whom she has a natural bond with. I hope you’ll remember David’s amazing story, in episode 15 http://bit.ly/2S8ORvO_015 (“We Wish We Could Have Grown Up Together”). He remembered the day, when he was a boy, when his family brought home a baby girl. Jennifer is David’s lifetime sister. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/025-2/ (025 – I Feel So Lucky, I Got Way More Than I Bargained For) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). Jennifer (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/__Y-_hLEKle5tTMKGLVLC2TTBI8AK5ehMu

David tried to find his birth mother in the early 90’s in California. He received non-identifying information back then, but it wasn’t much to act on at the time. Later, in 2015, motivated by his wife and his “lifetime sister”, he embarked on an intense collaboration with his adoption search angel Priscilla. Together they discovered his mother’s name and her location. David found an incredible photograph of his mother in the public library’s archives and was hopeful he would meet her soon. Unfortunately, he was too late to meet her in person. But in the end, he gained a full blooded sister that he didn’t even know he had. They get along great, and wish that they had grown up together. The post http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com/015-david-b/ (015 – We Wish We Could Have Grown Up Together) appeared first on http://www.whoamireallypodcast.com (Who Am I...Really? Podcast). David (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/y7Qs08W1aCYLx71hSTItbAjBuzka8mJjxFNDlv9U3HFR-_5c397rr2W0ujkHBKboC7GTVqVVlyRokO0AYvFH-0l5nz4?loadFrom

Mary is 78, but she still has stinging memories of her mother leaving her in another woman’s guardianship. The era was the Great Depression but her mother wanted to go out and have fun without the responsibility of raising In guardianship she was sexually abused, then her guardian blamed her for the economic hardship in that house when the abuser left the home. Mary had grown too independent to reunite with her mother. But despite the trials of her life, she made sure to be the best mother she could possibly be when her children needed her. Read Full Transcript Mary:                          https://www.temi.com/editor/t/-X4uXD2PQjEaXlXoPqYq3JS_y-i3VtpcHfnOPpjhUAcux_iEf1BT2Bl2pLhkTpdb2F4kjU7OsO99J5l80UEFqHgPLDw?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.45 (00:02)               They would tell me, well, sh

Marni grew up in Madison, WI in a transracial family that lived a predominantly white community. Everywhere they went, they were stared at for the heterogeneity they brought to the community. The attention their family received was a constant reminder of their own racial diversity, but Marni’s father seemed to have wise and crafty ways to turn the tables to make his own children feel more comfortable. Still, Marni’s family had some internal dysfunction that fed her desire to search for her biological family always wanted to find her biological family. Initially, she thought things with her biological mother were going to be great, but it turned out that her biological father was the one she had the deepest connection to. Marni makes her living supporting foster youth in the Washington, DC area, pulling from her own experiences as an adoptee to uplift others. Read Full Transcript Marni:                          https://www.temi.com/editor/t/bTCf0yIB3mZz5IOFJIca6LvVBnLDfTMyvgCyN9WEVKlGCsWk6rh

Elise has always been into genealogy and loved looking at family photos & records when she was a child. As a child of adoption, she wondered where her family of origin was? Reunion has had its ups and downs for Elise. The experience with her birth father’s family has been great over the last 20 years. She’s used her genealogy skills to solve a mystery about her paternal grandfather. Elise keeps a door open for communication if her mother or maternal family want contact, yet she understands and accepts that her mother may not be in a position to have a relationship. Elise says, “I am so appreciative of my journey, the good and the bad parts because getting to work out some of the puzzle pieces of my story and my paternal grandfather’s has been a gift and has helped me have a better sense of self and wholeness.”   Read Full TranscriptElise:                         

When Sean was a kid, he found out he was adopted. That news created some conflict in him and challenged his identity. He began to rebel against his adopted parents, but some sage wisdom from his grandmother quickly set him straight. Sean returned to loving and appreciating the family he was a part of, but his desire to understand his identity never left. Older and married to his high school sweetheart, Sean’s family began to grow. He said that seeing his world in his oldest daughter’s eyes made him even more sensitive to his biological mother’s tough choice to let him go. After Sean finally mailed his introductory letter to his biological mother, which he had re-drafted several times over the years, he was finally able to reunite with her. He learned some of the ways that he’s just like his mother, and how one of his childhood sports heroes is actually his cousin! Read Full Transcript Sean:                            https://www.temi.com/editor/t/9Ai-yOSCi-FCnkNYDw89eyEWPt

Growing up Joi tried to convince herself that being adopted didn’t bother her because she had such a great family. But in reality, great parents did not erase the fact that she didn’t know her birth parents. She laments that never saw anyone who looked like her, and of course, she could never answer a doctor’s questions about her health history. After connecting with a close cousin on AncestryDNA, they began a search through the family tree to locate her birth mother. After the state of New Jersey opened adoptee birth records, the cousins learned exactly who Joi was related to, and that their search had been off track. After receiving her original birth certificate (OBC), she was able to connect with her birth mother and her birth father in a story of joyous reunion befitting a woman named Joi. Since her interview originally aired in August 2017 Joi has published her adoptee memoir, “https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Joi-Story-Faith-Family/dp/1733631402/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=finding+joi&qid=1558748647&s=ga

You probably know by now that I’ve written book to share my story, just like so many of our crib mates who have documented their own stories. It’s called https://amzn.to/2Y9RNf8 (Who Am I Really, An Adoptee Memoir). In this episode I introduce my own story, and recap lessons learned from the Who Am I Really podcast. Read Full Transcript Damon:                       https://www.temi.com/editor/t/xIlyTdHf1ZaHKloX4KHo3XY0L-PJZsfk79d12X7lfsA0M1hhI_wtWZ_wQAK3QXJuyl3zb0-71_lOnJhC8_0rBuXu4X8?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.12 (00:00)               I want to start by thanking all of you for listening to the show. I wasn’t sure this would turn into anything meaningful when I first brainstormed, Who Am I Really? But your comments on episodes, ratings on apple podcasts, personal notes and contributions on Patreon have me

Steve, from London, Ontario, Canada shares his story of being adopted after his mother lost a child. Steve and his mother never connected, in fact, she stifled his social development and seemed to be holding him back because he didn’t look like their family, and didn’t fit in. As a teen, Steve was out on his own in the streets when he learned that he had fathered a child – that’s when he became a single father. In reunion, he found a connection to his birth mother, but her empty promises ended with rejection that surprised him. Read Full Transcript Damon:                       https://www.temi.com/editor/t/W9k-YyLJ5dESS_5WDL2WRXpg0_RU3h3gLeDymVTYpofJLu-wbfyrk0uIuhb2WmBQ-L9i21Tpy1QB_kM-4redUgga9Vo?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=0.03 (00:00)               Hey there. I just wanted to

Sandee shared the story of her life with an adopted brother who was coddled by their mother, so much so, that it reinforced her own natural position as a Daddy’s girl. That favoritism forced Sandee’s independence from her mother, but also created a bit of a rift between them. Locating her birth mother happened very quickly once she was offered some search assistance. But when those same volunteers couldn’t find anything about her birth father, Sandee questioned whether her birth mother had been honest about her conception. Luckily, when the truth was finally revealed through DNA, Sandee’s life turned out to be proof of something her paternal half-sister already suspected. Read Full TranscriptSandee:                       https://www.temi.com/editor/t/CsX-0KQm4fTelAWz6m9iosMwpPwhzl6GyEiBGVwP6QVUPCsDpEgy_I0rHd-vzjybtvgzPMQqPurnYz6xi9V1TId9Nnk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=2.19 (00:02)