Who Am I Really?

Joe is from Assonet, Massachusetts, just south of Boston. He shares his pride for being an adopted person, the challenge to make his way through his physical limitations as a kid, and the demons he removed from his life before attempting reunion.  Facing secondary rejection. He had to overcome the anger and hurt to even attempt the next reunion decades later. When he did, Joe learned that his siblings in different families were friends, his father's had friends in common and that everything in his life was connected in ways he hadn't realized. This is Joe's journey. Support this podcast

November is National Adoption Awareness Month (#NAAM), a time to bring awareness to all of the issues that adoption brings to adoptees, families formed through adoption, and natural families of adoptees. However one underrepresented voice in the adoption constellation is that of the male adoptee.  On the “Who Am I Really?” podcast only 30% of the adoptee guests have been men. While adoptees have the ultimate voice about the adoption experience, very few men have stepped forward to share their adoption journey. For #NAAM 2020 I gathered three of my male adoptee podcast guests online to share their inner thoughts and deepest emotions about their adoption journeys. Andre McCallum (ep 001), Tom Andriola, (ep 012), and Adrian Jones (ep 132) joined me to share their stories of adoption, reunion, and the roller coaster of emotions they lived along the way.  Andre, Ep 001 - The End of Summer Cake - http://bit.ly/2S8ZpLp_001 Tom, Ep 012 - I Need This For My Sanity - https://bit.ly/3nLJrIh_012 Adrian, Ep 132

Ben, from Fannystelle, Manitoba Canada, had an extremely rough start in his first home with his biological family. He was abused at the hand of his step dad, so he was removed by child and family services for his safety. Bensen, or Ben was nursed back to health in foster care, and placed in a new family at seven years old. He admits he was an angry teen, taking on negativity in his life to cope. But as an adult he's done the hard work to make positive change for himself despite living with triggers on his body that remind him of what he's endured. Ben speaks of breaking the cycle of abuse when raising his own daughter, thanking his foster family for their loving care, and encouraging other adoptees (especially men) to tell their story over and over to try to reduce the pain we sometimes feel. This is Bensen's journey. Support this podcast

Michelle, from Ohio. She talks about the challenge of her childhood, craving a connection, but having the one she shared with her Dad snuffed out.  Her search, which began with Adoption Network Cleveland where she found an ally in a birth mother in the group. Along the way Michelle felt the shame of her simple request to have access to her own records, and was met with secondary rejection. Luckily, Michelle has found the one person she now shares an undeniable bond with -- the one she's always needed.  She said that adoption shaped her, her lack of attachment to her biological family forever changed her to her core. But she's moving forward with all the joys in the family she built and with the family she's found. This is Michelle's journey... Support this podcast

Comedian television and film actor, and all around entertainer. Tommy Davidson has seen it all. He launched his comedy career in the Washington DC area. Capitalizing on his innate ability to entertain people and make them bust out in laughter.  But his earliest days were grounded in trauma that as an adoptee, he didn't face until he was an adult and was at risk of losing everything. Tommy graciously took time to chat with me about his life and his career as documented in his book, living in color. What's funny about me. From being found as an infant, clinging to life, to his show, business success on one of my favorite sketch comedy television shows, living color . Tommy has put in the work to face the trauma of his adoption, overcome addiction and rebuild his life. This is Tommy's journey.    Support this podcast

Brandi, who called me from myrtle Beach, South Carolina, is an inquisitive person adopted in to a family with a history of scholars, which is rare for a black family in the south.  DNA led Brandi to a cousin who was determined to help her figure out their biological connection and which of two men were her birth father.  Coincidentally Brandi studied the music of a uniquely east coast southern diaspora of African people, only to learn she was studying the music of her own roots. This is Brandi's journey.  Support this podcast

When Susan, from Irving, Texas, found her natural mother, she learned she was conceived in transit when two young lives collided, then never saw one another again.  Her birth mother's life seemed too chaotic the women to make a deeper connection. The woman ended things abruptly when Susan didn't behave the way she wanted.  Susans's paternal connection, while a complete surprise, was filled with joy and acceptance for a father who needed to fill a void, and a daughter who craved the same.  This is Susan's journey.  Support this podcast

Gloria called me from Texas where she grew up with Mexican parents. In younger days she tried to find the ways she looked like her family. In adulthood, following the whim of some co-workers, Gloria did a DNA test naive to what it could possibly reveal. In a matter of months she was plunged into the deep end as a late discovery adoptee. She began drinking to cope, accidentally pushed away her paternal sister, but managed to hang onto her relationship with her biological mother. This is Gloria's journey. Support this podcast

Darryl, from Australia, admits he had a challenging childhood from his relationship with his adoptive father, to their family's need to move around a lot because they were so poor, and his experience learning he is a late discovery adoptee. Darryl describes himself as a person for whom the truth is very important, so as an adult he discharged his adoption setting his personal record straight. This is Darryl's journey. Support this podcast

Wendy, from Minnesota, had a lot of information about her natural mother and assumed the woman would want to know her, but that wasn't the case. They corresponded once, solely for her natural mother to share clinical information, then the door closed. Wendy said finding her paternal sister Jen, a woman she could have met years earlier at church, has been a redemptive blessing that's brought Wendy peace. This is Wendy's journey.  Support this podcast

Nicole was adopted into a military family, the structure of which ran against her freewheeling nature. She’s an interracial woman with interracial adopted parents, so they looked like a natural family. In reunion, Nicole is facing secondary rejection from her birth mother, but her maternal grandparents and uncle have accepted her with open arms. She’s learned that her birth father wanted to keep her, and her paternal family feels so natural, Nicole feels like she’s found her tribe. Read Full TranscriptNicole:                         00:05               I feel like I’ve found my tribe. These are, these are the people that like I fit. I feel like I’ve found peace within myself because it’s not who am I really? It’s it’s I am me and I’m who I’m always supposed to have been. It was just put in a differ

Stephanie grew up in a very wealthy family in South Carolina and you’ll hear discuss the family’s fortune, but pause before you pass judgment on how easy life must have been. Her story is filled with manipulative behavior, malicious intentions, and a foundation created from lies. You’ll also hear Stephanie’s intelligence and tenacity to get her through the tough times as she learned the truth about her adopted family’s feelings towards her, the story of how she arrived in her aunt’s care, and the tough road to connect with her sister. Read Full TranscriptDamon:                       00:04               I’m going to say at the time I really didn’t want to meet her. My life was pretty torn up as it was, but the reason I said yes is I thought, what if this is the only chance I have? What if? What if this is it? There’s n

Listen, I can’t even pretend it was easy to podcast during what has been an absolutely crazy year. Before I sign off season 7 I need to cover a few things.   I’m grateful to be able to say thank you to some wonder folks who’ve committed to supporting the Who Am I Really podcast this year. I have to say I’ve been inspired to hear from some of you who are thinking of launching podcasts of your own.  If it’s in your heart to support The Gift of Adoption Fund please visit http://giftofadoption.org/ (giftofadoption.org) I gotta say I’m excited for season 8 of the Who Am I Really podcast, but it's time for a break. I’ll see you in 2021. Stay safe, and spread some love…  Support this podcast

To date, I’ve only interviewed a few guests who weren't adoptees, and this will be another one. Today you're going to meet Anne-Marie from Southern California who drafted an impassioned submission to be on the Who Am I Really podcast. At first I wanted to stay true to the focus of the show, sharing adoptee voices. But I quickly realized there is no place, that I know of, for natural mothers to tell their stories and Anne-Marie was trusting me with hers.  When she got pregnant in her teen years, she placed her daughter for adoption despite every fiber of her being wanting to keep her baby. When she turned 18 years old, Anne-Marie’s daughter Alex found her and they reunited. When Alex went to college she slipped out of her studies and into rehab where Anne-Marie was part of her and many other rehabbing adoptees recoveries. In the end Anne-Marie lost Alex twice, feels lucky to have known her at all, and wants every adoptee to know that we are loved. This is Anne-Marie

Liz, from Michigan, grew up in a neighborhood full of adoptees, so it wasn’t until years later in the Dominican Republic teaching a class with a lot of adoptees in it that her own adoption sunk in. After finding her natural mother through an intermediary they reunited during a sleepover in a hotel room where they stayed up all night. Their bond solidified when Liz’s daughter was born bringing them closer as they marveled at the next generation of their family before them. After more than a decade in reunion, Liz played an emotional farewell to her mother on her viola to say goodbye. This is Liz’s journey. Support this podcast

In this episode Cheryl, the mother and our adoptee, is joined by her natural daughter Diahan from Washington state and South Florida respectively. Cheryl had an idyllic life growing up an athletic tomboy outside of Seattle.  When her daughters started having children she got concerned about the missing medical information she was unable to transfer down the family tree.  Fortunately there was no one better suited to usher Cheryl through her genealogy journey than Diahan, an early professional in the industry.  In reunion Cheryl has found welcoming siblings and a gigantic family that filled a hole she didn’t know was there.  This is Cheryl’s journey. Support this podcast

Adrian, who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, has lived around the country and in different parts of the world, only to find himself right back in the town where everything started for him. An avid mountain biker, he nearly lost it all when the widow maker tried to tear him down. Adrian fought through recovery, vowed to love his family like he never had before, and follow the advice of the voice in his ear telling him to find his birth family. This is Adrian’s journey.  Support this podcast

Elissa, from Hilton Head, South Carolina, said never bonded with her adopted mother. She did find a second home with her horseback riding coach and the horses she adored.  Finding her biological mother gave Elissa a glimmer of hope that the woman stokes and extinguishes in a torturous cycle.  Speaking with her birth father only once, she confirmed the story of his own paternity, but Elissa never heard from him again.  Relying on her husband, the first person she’s shared real love with, Elissa wishes reunion didn’t leave her so confused and feeling broken. This is Elissa’s journey.  Elissa (https://www.temi.com/editor/t/m06Z3uf9j3E6kepKRwj2aLzMNVXJd9V9wZOhx_QXjuWT9GYiijlbQJusddgjFhBFivfAYPJP5Y2qLgVwrEs87fsWwMk?loadFrom=DocumentDeeplink&ts=3.8 (00:03)): I am that 37 year old woman now who is dying to be hugged and held by their mother. Like, I need that moment in my life. I feel that I deserve it and I feel unbeknownst to her. She deserves it too. Beause I know that she's carr

Ed called me from Hillsborough, North Carolina, but his journey begins in New York City. He describes a wonderful life in the suburbs of the city with no real concerns for his adoption — even after carrying his original birth certificate around as a teenager. Sparked by reunion television shows Ed searched for his natural parents discovering that his mother had been a star performer. Thanks to the generosity of strangers Ed gratefully received gratefully the Gift Best Given. This is Ed’s journey. Support this podcast

Val called me from outside of Houston, Texas, but her story started in in Kansas. She had a great childhood with her parents until a neighbor revealed her adoption to her, rocking her world, sending her into rebellious phase in life. When Val searched for her biological father, because his name wouldn’t have changed over the years, she found her natural parents were together. He was frosty to her and they barely spoke because he probably believed she wasn’t his. He went to his grave not knowing the truth. This is Val’s journey  Support this podcast