Lessons In Life And Leadership

Being responsible is just part of becoming an adult. There comes a time when you realize that you have to be accountable for not only what you do, but also the effects of your actions. Regardless of whether the repercussions are as you intended or not, it's your sole responsibility. As admirable as being responsible is, can you become too responsible? When exactly is being responsible irresponsible? How should you be accountable for yourself?   On today's episode, I'm explaining how you can be irresponsible due to being too responsible. I'll discuss what it means to be responsible to others, where we should draw the line of responsibility, and the real definition of irresponsibility. I'll explain what being a responsible parent means to kids and how to make sure you're not crossing the line between responsible parenthood and holding your kids' life hostage. I'll also share what I think is the difference between responsibility and commitment, and the difference between making your own choices and being ir

We like the idea of having a sense of control over everything around us; the idea of stability and knowing what to expect. Many people often suffer from anxiety over unpredictability. Being in control of not just ourselves, but also the people around us can be calming and puts our mind to ease. It feels good knowing everything is going according to plan. How do you know if you're trying to control too much, though? When can being hands-on become a bad thing? When should we not try to control anything?   On today's episode, I'm sharing why it's okay to let go of a lot of the things we think we should control. I'll explain why feeling the need to control every aspect of your life and the people around you actually proves how out of control you really are in your life. I'll share an experience of when people controlled my life, stirring it into a direction I never wanted to go and the lessons I've since learned from it as well as tips on how to avoid being a control freak.   "While your intervention ma

Bad news and negativity are all around us. News stations bombard us with stories about people hurting each other, harsh political criticism, and school shootings day in and day out. It doesn't help that social media – a place where we're supposed to separate ourselves from the rest of the world – has become a virtual beacon for bad news and negativity. With negativity constantly everywhere, it seems it has become much more overwhelming than it was decades before. How do we escape it? How do we reduce the noise that enters our mind and makes us feel stressed every time we turn on the TV or use our phones?   On today's episode, I'm discussing the notion of negativity and what to do when it becomes overwhelming. I'll explain why people need negativity in their lives and why acknowledging the fact that there is negativity is the first step in overcoming it. I'll also share why pretending negativity doesn't exist is counterintuitive, and why people who only think about being positive only do themselves a diss

It's human nature to try to understand - to figure out - why something doesn't make sense. To ask questions and wonder why someone says something out of character or does something that is so out of the ordinary that it boggles the minds of those around them. But, the pursuit of needing to know - to make sense out of things that seem nonsensical to us - is often the beginning of struggle and strife.   On today's episode, I'm discussing how the quest to make sense out of nonsense is often nothing more than a defense mechanism - an excuse to not think through certain challenges, situations, or obstacles. I'll explain how trying to make sense of certain situations can lead to troublesome or unexpected results, preventing you from setting healthy boundaries or making decisions that can help you move forward. I'll also explain how to identify when it's worth pursuing an explanation for a seemingly nonsensical issue and when seeking an explanation may be a futile attempt and it's time to stop your pursuit. &nb

We all experience moments in our lives where we feel jealous or envious of someone else. Whether it's in our marriages and relationships or a colleague receives a promotion you feel you should have received, jealousy and envy have a way of creeping into our emotional lives, taking us on a rollercoaster ride toward potential disaster.   On today's episode, I'm discussing what jealousy and envy is and why I believe it is a waste of energy. I'll explain how jealous behaviors can impact your relationships and career and the consequences associated with excessive jealous or envious behavior. I'll also share solutions for handling situations of jealousy and envious behavior and why avoiding jealousy and envy is one of the most healthiest things you can do for your emotional health.     "Next to worry, jealousy and envy are probably the two biggest wastes of energy." - Mike Staver     Staver On Demand  If you enjoyed the content in our podcast episodes and would like access to Mike Staver ev

Many people believe they are investing their time and energy in the things that matter most to them - the things that will give them the greatest short-term or long-term return on their investment. But what do you do when you begin feeling like the time and energy you are investing won't give you the return you desire? On today's episode, I'm discussing how to determine where to invest your time and energy to live a happy, meaningful, and fulfilling life. I'll explain how to identify when you are wasting your time and energy, how being resentful about something is still considered investing in it, and why you should invest in things that align with your core beliefs and core values. I'll also encourage you to evaluate your own life to identify where you are investing your time and energy into things that may not give you the kind of return you desire.   "Don't let circumstances be the indicator of how you spend your time and energy." - Mike Staver   Staver On Demand  If you enjoyed the content in ou

People today tend to focus so intensely - so exclusively - on all the negative things that are happening in the world today that they often disregard or completely forget to recognize all of the beautiful, powerful, positive things happening around them. We tend to stress over things that are beyond our control, dispute things we don't agree with, or worry about things that have yet to happen. On today's episode, I'm discussing why focusing on what is right in the world is a powerful mindset to possess. I'll explain the importance of balancing positive experiences and negative experiences that you have throughout your day and how your mindset and views of the world around you can impact every aspect of your life. I'll also explain how changing your perspective on the world around you can make you feel more energized and how it opens the opportunity to see the world, the people in your life, and the relationships you build through a different lens.   "Sometimes, we just need to be still and see what we ar

LLL061 Emotional Hypochondria   Emotional hypochondria allows you to focus on things that will not help you move forward or make the decisions you need to make to help you achieve your goals. It is the emotional response many of us have after receiving negative feedback from others. It often leads to procrastination of certain tasks, decisions, or actions - preventing us from achieving what we want to achieve in our businesses, careers, and lives.   On today's episode, I'm explaining what emotional hypochondria is and how it impacts your life, your business, and your career. I'll discuss the two primary ways people view their lives and the importance of allowing yourself to move forward. I'll also share strategies you can use to overcome emotional hypochondria behaviors to begin taking action in spite of your challenges, negative thoughts, and limiting beliefs so you can begin moving forward in your life.   "We need to stop using limitations and limited thinking to keep us from doing the things

LLL042 You're Just Not That Important Have you ever noticed how paranoid and self-conscious people get when you post on social media that you will be removing people from your friends list? Have you ever wondered why some people seem to take general comments on Facebook or Twitter as personal attacks to themselves, their beliefs, or their character? On today's episode, I'll share why I believe some people take the things they see on social media too personally. I'll explain how to handle these situations where someone is feeling paranoid about something you posted as well as share my experiences with self-conscious people taking my posts or content too personally - and how I handled the situation.   "Unless they use your name - don't take it personally." - Mike Staver     Staver On Demand  If you enjoyed the content in our podcast episodes and would like access to Mike Staver even more, join us at Staver On Demand. Staver On Demand is a highly interactive learning platform developed to help pe

LLL060 Be Still Be Very Still   People today are constantly on the move - running from place to place or pulling their attention from one project to another. The world we live in has become a blur of fast-paced movement. THis fast-paced nature that we have developed can cause significant and unnecessary stress on our bodies and mind - even to the point of leading toward deteriorating mental and physical health.   On today's episode, I'm discussing the importance of slowing down, being still, and allowing your mind and body to relax and enjoy the quiet moments. I'll share how being still and giving yourself time to rejuvenate can positively impact your health and well-being and why multitasking is not productive or effective. I'll also share how to become better at being still and slowing down to enable you to think more clearly and open your mind to new ideas, new possibilities, new opportunities as well as become more effective in your day-to-day lives.   "Often, we get so busy moving forward

LLL041 When is Taking the High Road the Low Road We all struggle sometimes with deciding when to confront someone regarding something they've said or done that has either - intentionally or unintentionally - hurt our reputation, our character, or our business. So, when is taking the high road actually the low road? When is it appropriate for you to decide to confront someone when they've done something wrong, deceitful, uncaring, or harmful? On today's episode, I'm discussing when it's appropriate to leave the 'high road' behind and, instead, confront someone who has done something wrong or harmful. I'll explain why understanding how and when to confront someone about their wrongdoings is critical to your success in life and leadership. I'll also explain the impact that not taking a stand and protecting your reputation and credibility can have on your personal and professional life.   "The fact of the matter is, sometimes we have to make a stand for what is right." - Mike Staver     Staver On

LLL040 The Three Basic Laws of Life How much time do you spend in your life trying to help someone care about another person or cause you believe in? Many people spend way too much time and energy and try too hard to change those around them that it inadvertently causes more heartache, stress, and frustration than what it's truly worth. On today's episode, I'm sharing the three basic laws of life as well as a bonus "Mike Staver Law." I'll also explore each of these laws, diving deeper and helping you evaluate which ones you have the most trouble either believing or accepting and explain why I believe that if more people followed these basic laws of life, the world would be a happier, more carefree and fulfilling place.   "All of us get invested in the expectations we have for the way other people should be or they way the world works." - Mike Staver     Staver On Demand  If you enjoyed the content in our podcast episodes and would like access to Mike Staver even more, join us at Staver On Dema

LLL039 The Paradox Theory We don't live in a black and white world. In fact, to have the mindset that things can only be one way or the other can be considered irrational and simple-minded. The Harrison Assessment, an assessment created by Dr. Dan Harrison, is based on the Paradox Theory. This assessment is designed to help people evaluate their preferences and behavioral traits as well as evaluate how seemingly opposite traits can work together in harmony. On today's episode, I'm discussing what the Paradox Theory is and how believing that things must be one way or the other can create unnecessary stress and worry. I'll also encourage you to evaluate yourself and your mindset to identify the paradoxes in your life and see where you can make changes in your mindset to live a happier, emotionally healthier life.   "Life is a balance of seemingly opposite ideas." - Mike Staver   Resources: The Harrison Assessment     Staver On Demand  If you enjoyed the content in our podcast episodes and

LLL036 Secrets Are the Sickness Secrets. Most people will agree that there are two types of secrets - those that are innocent or good, and those that are deceptive, hurtful, or destructive. In today's society, many people seem to believe that the more secrets they keep or the more deception they have, the better off they will be. On today's episode, I'm sharing why I believe secrets are the sickness, the difference between an innocent secret and a destructive secret, and how keeping secrets can negatively impact your reputation. I'll share how speaking the truth in a caring and supportive manner can help break down barriers and build meaningful relationships with those around you. I'll also share the four pieces I believe are critical and relative to secrets being the sickness of today's society and the relationships we build as well as the importance of seeking good council when you're not sure whether a secret should be shared.   "The best thing you can do is create a space where you own your mistakes

LLL038 Sometimes You Need to Be Demotivated Do you believe in the phrase, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?" This phrase - and the millions like it - are designed to inspire you through difficult events and challenging obstacles that you face throughout your life. They are designed to motivate you to see past the negativity and continue to push forward. Sometimes, though, we need to be demotivated to handle the challenges and obstacles we face in life. Life is simply not as simple as these motivational quotes like to make us believe. Being demotivated can allow you to view a problem as it actually is - instead of sugar-coating it. On today's episode, I'm sharing how being demotivated can help you see things they way they truly are and why, in most cases, motivational quotes and phrases are nothing more than oversimplified platitudes.   "Be thoughtful in what you say to people. Life isn't always that simple." - Mike Staver     Resources: Despair, Inc.     Staver On Demand 

LLL037 Someday We Are All Going to Die Too many people focus on the end of life, poor health challenges, and other negative things that happen that they fail to simply enjoy living. Of course, someday we are all going to die, but focusing on the way you live your life, the meaningful connections and relationships you build, and the things you enjoy is what living your life to the fullest truly means. On today's episode, I'm discussing the importance of living your life to the fullest and focusing on what energizes you to keep you moving forward. I'll explain why it's crucial to focus on what is happening in your life and the choices you make today - in this moment - instead of focusing on what may happen in the future and how this mindset can change the way you view the world around you.   "The only thing required of you is this minute." - Mike Staver   Resources: The Road Less Traveled book by Scott Peck       Staver On Demand  If you enjoyed the content in our podcast episodes a

LLL033 Acceptance Isn't Approval One of the most difficult things we face in life is learning to accept various challenges and obstacles that happen to us, our family, or in our businesses or careers. People often confuse the words "acceptance" and "approval," often using the words interchangeably as if they mean the same thing. On today's episode, I'm explaining the difference between acceptance and approval and why it's important to understand these differences in order to live a happier, more fulfilling life. I'll explain how choosing to live in denial can lead to unforeseen risks and destructive results and the importance of evaluating yourself to ensure you are clearly viewing things the way they truly are without being judgmental. I'll also explain why it's important to be in the present, control the things you can control, and leave the everything else behind.   "It's in those moments of acceptance that you are going to have the greatest clarity of the path forward." - Mike Staver   Staver O

People sometimes make excuses for family or close friends and their behavior, but do they deserve special treatment? Are we required to give them special considerations?   I believe in a world where we all treat each other decent. On today's episode, I expose the real question of how we should treat family and friends and how they should treat us.     "I am a believer in treating people decent not treating people the way I want to be treated."     Staver On Demand If you enjoyed the content in our podcast episodes and would like access to Mike Staver even more, join us at Staver On Demand. Staver On Demand is a highly interactive learning platform developed to help people like you become more successful leaders, better citizens, and better people overall!           Rate, Review, Share, Subscribe             Thanks for tuning into today's episode of the Lessons in Life and Leadership Podcast! If you enjoyed this episode, please head over to iTunes, subscri

We are all surrounded by stuff. The self-storage business is a 32.7-billion-dollar industry. That is a lot of stuff, and a lot of it is unneeded. I don't usually recommend other podcasts, but I am a huge fan of The Minimalists, Joshua Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus and how they have been living larger with less things. My wife and I are giving up 25% of our stuff, so we can have a larger impact on life without being encumbered with things we don't need or use. I challenge you to join me in freeing up space, time and energy to have the freedom in life to focus on what matters.   "All of us need to live with less, so that we can give more."     Staver On Demand If you enjoyed the content in our podcast episodes and would like access to Mike Staver even more, join us at Staver On Demand. Staver On Demand is a highly interactive learning platform developed to help people like you become more successful leaders, better citizens, and better people overall!           Rate, Review, Sha

This week, I'm talking about the idea – the notion – of positivity. Let's face it, positive affirmations are not enough to get you from where you are today to where you want to go in the next month, year, or 5 years. As my grandmother used to say, "Sometimes life just isn't that easy." And grandma is right! Life isn't easy – but it's also not that bad. Today I'm going to share with you my thoughts on what positivity truly means and how you can use it to make an impact on your life as well as on those around you.   "Positivity has to do with how you frame things; how you explain things, and how you see the world."   This week on Lessons in Life and Leadership: What positivity truly is The positivity ratio The effects of strongly focusing on the negative events in your life The benefits of identifying positive events in your life   Mentioned in This Episode: Leadership Isn't for Cowards book Positivity book by Barbara Fredrickson     Staver On Demand     If you enjoyed t