Mom And Dad Are Fighting | Slate's Parenting Show

On this episode: Jamilah, Zak, and Elizabeth tackle body boundaries. Our listener has two little kids who are pretty comfortable doing things like sharing a bath or getting changed in the same vicinity. But something happened the other morning that has her worried. How can she teach consent and autonomy without creating any body shame?  On Slate Plus, they debate if parenting actually makes them happy. The article they discussed is called What Becoming a Parent Really Does to Your Happiness by Paul Bloom.  Resources:  HealthyChildren.org Sex Positive Families SexEdTalk’s Vaginas and Periods 101 Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson and Jasmine Ellis.  Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choic

On this episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and Jamilah answer a question from a listener who is feeling left behind by her friends who are parents. She says she’s really tried to be supportive and isn’t receiving support in return, especially when she’s celebrating accomplishments like earning a PhD and publishing her first album. All of this has left her feeling that she’s worth less if she doesn’t have a kid. Is there a way to rekindle the relationships?  Recommendations:  Zak recommends watching The Lost Daughter.  Jamilah recommends picking up The Emergency: A Year of Healing and Heartbreak in a Chicago ER by Thomas Fisher.  Elizabeth recommends planting a window box with Back to the Roots or Kiwico.   Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.  Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at

On this episode: Elizabeth, Jamilah, and Zak tackle a classic dilemma. Should you pay your kids to help around the house? What chores are age appropriate and how can you tailor your expectations to different children? They also do a round of Triumphs and Fails and announce that Mom and Dad are Fighting is moving to a twice a week schedule. Episodes will come out on Mondays and Thursdays. On Slate Plus, they discuss whether or not you should pull elementary school students out of state-wide testing.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.  Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode: Jamilah and Zak are joined by Julie Kohler, a writer, gender justice advocate, and host of the podcast, White Picket Fence. First they tackle a question from a listener who is trying to figure out how to connect with her partner’s kid. Then they talk with Julie about the childcare crisis, which she focused on for the latest season of her show. She explains why the US is still so far behind in terms of implementing care economy policies and what supports should be in place to make parenting more manageable. On Slate Plus, they discuss the viral “husbands in training” TikTok.  Recommendations: Julie recommends Turning Red.  Zak recommends Chili Onion Crunch.  Jamilah recommends SpoiledChild’s S24 Rapid Recovery Hair Mask  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment

On this week’s episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth answer a tricky question from a parent who doesn’t have a relationship with her father for a good reason. But now that his health is failing, she’s wondering if she should introduce him to her daughter. Then, they tackle how to make school drop-off smoother. On Slate Plus, they discuss Jessica Grose’s piece, I’ll Say It Again: There’s More Than One Way to Raise Kids Who Thrive, and dish on what philosophies they use in their own parenting.  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends Making a Great Exhibition by Doro Globus  Jamilah recommends filling out your manufacturer’s warranty.  Zak recommends Life on Earth by Hurray for the Riff Raff.  Bonus recommendation: Pregnant Pause.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each wee

On this week’s episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth answer a complicated question about a listener with family ties to Russia who is seeking advice on how to explain to her young children the invasion of Ukraine and how to help them handle the schoolyard teasing. Then, how to keep your toddler entertained in the stroller on the way to school. This family is looking to up their game on the 25 min walk to school. And on Slate Plus, what's one silly, or serious thing that we should implement to make parents' lives better. The hosts weigh in with our ideas.  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends Melon’s House Party Jamilah recommends The new Saved By The Bell Zak recommends Better Things Listener-recommended Resources: How To Hug a Porcupine Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Zak Rosen. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF eac

On this bonus episode from our friends at Slate's The Waves podcast: We’re talking about infertility treatments–and what happens when they don’t work. The Waves producer Cheyna Roth shares her personal struggles and talks about going through IVF with Slate’s Dear Prudence columnist, Jenée Desmond Harris. They talk about what they wished they had known before starting IVF, how to be a good friend of someone experiencing infertility, and Jenée offers advice on how to cope with IVF. Later in the show, Cheyna talks to author Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos about the ethics of the infertility industry, what to say to a loved one who is going through treatments, and what it means to be an “IVF survivor,”  In Slate Plus, Cheyna and Jenée talk about the slippery slope to IVF and its high price tag. And Slate’s Lili Loofbourow shares what happened when she tried to get insurance to cover IVF. Additional Reading:  “An IVF Survivor Unravels ‘Fertility’ Industry Narratives,” by Pamela Tsigdinos  “Would You Tell Someone You We

On this bonus episode from our friends at Slate's How To! podcast: Janey is the very definition of a woman trying to “have it all.” She’s an occupational therapist by day, a ghost writer for influencers by night and in between co-hosts a podcast. On top of that, she has two sons who play travel sports and a husband who works long hours. It’s left Janey wondering if she’ll ever catch her breath. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Amy Westervelt, who’s no slouch herself. She’s a journalist, host of the award-winning podcast Drilled, a busy mom and author of the book Forget “Having It All”: How America Messed Up Motherhood, and How to Fix It. She shares with Janey how trying to “have it all” almost left her with nothing. It’s advice that all of us can use to rebalance our lives and reprioritize what’s important.  Check out Amy’s invisible labor calculator.  If you liked this episode, check out “How To Advance Your Career By Quitting Your Job.”  Do you have a question with no easy answers? Send us a note at

On this week’s episode: Dan is back from book leave and has an announcement. Dan, Jamilah, and Elizabeth answer a wild question about a teen asking if her mom has “vanilla sex.” How should the parent respond to an intensely personal question like that? Then Elizabeth and Jamilah pepper Dan with questions about his time on the show, including his biggest regret. On Slate Plus, if you could swap bodies w/ your kid for a day—Freaky Friday style—would you?  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends When Stars are Scattered by Omar Mohamed and Victoria Jamieson.  Dan recommends Turning Red.  Jamilah recommends season two of Love Is Blind.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more a

On this week’s episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and Jamilah tackle a question from a parent worried that tense homework sessions are fracturing her relationship with her daughter. When should you keep pushing your kid so they succeed and when should you back off? Then, they’re advising a parent who is simply burned out. It’s something a lot of parents are feeling and they’ve got some tips to make life a little more manageable. On Slate Plus, they’re juggling stressful sports schedules.  Recommendations: Jamilah recommends Abbott Elementary.  Zak recommends making your own everything seasoning.  Elizabeth recommends a visual timer.  Extra Credit!:  Boom Goes the Dynamite Prodigy Education Game  Math Rush Waldock Way's best math games  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adch

On this week’s episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth answer a complicated question about navigating unwanted attention—especially if the attention may be chalked up to a child’s appearance. Then they are joined by Deborah Farmer Kris, parent educator, education journalist, children’s book author, and founder of Parenthood365. They talk about how to help kids identify and manage their emotions—and what parents can learn themselves in the process. Check out Deborah’s new book I Love You All the Time. On Slate Plus, they discuss Just How Helpful Is Childhood Therapy? by Melinda Wenner Moyer.  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends Night Zookeeper. Jamilah recommends Hey Girl! empowerment journal. Zak recommends Teen Lives, Interrupted by COVID.  Listener-recommended Resources: Judi's House resources When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death When Someone Very Special Dies Help Me Say Goodbye Love is Forever Lifetimes The Invisible String  Finding the Words If you want to listen to the original question, he

On this week’s episode: Jamilah, Zak, and Elizabeth dive into the complicated world of cotillions. A listener is wondering if she should enroll her biracial daughter if all of her friends are participating. Kristen Richardson, author of The Season: A Social History of the Debutante, joins to give some wonderful context and advice. They then tackle a question about sending a toddler to summer camp. On Slate Plus, they’re daydreaming about family vacations. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Recommendations: Zak recommends one piece SORRY! Elizabeth recommends the L.L.Bean Sonic Snow Tube.   Jamilah recommends Tinder Swindler.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.f

On this week’s episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and Aymann aren’t shying away from the difficult conversations. First, they answer a listener question about how to handle death with a toddler. Should you take a toddler to their grandparent’s funeral? Should you explain death? Should you let them see you cry? Then, Zak is talking with comedian Chris Gethard about his new essay Dad on Pills, available on Scribd. They get candid about parenting, mental health, and a rather upsetting joke. On Slate Plus, Elizabeth is panicking about school valentines. Are you too? Luckily, Zak and Aymann give us a reality check.  Recommendations: Zak recommends finding bridge songs to sneakily swap out kid music. Aymann recommends Halal Hot Dogs by Susannah Aziz and A Moon for Moe and Mo by Jane Breskin Zalben.  Elizabeth recommends Don’t Forget to Write. If you, or anyone you know, are in crisis, having thoughts of suicide, or need help immediately, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, at 1-800-273-8255, or

On this week’s episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth debate if there's proper etiquette when asking if a kid is vaccinated. Plus, they have some ideas for how to smoothly handle the interaction if the answer is no. Then, they take on the case of the annoying neighbor. Should you tell the kid to buzz off if he can’t play nice? On Slate Plus, secrets, secrets are no fun… but are they outright bad?  Recommendations: Jamilah recommends Budsies. Elizabeth recommends the Buddha Board. Zak recommends creating photo albums. Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no ads. Sign up now at slate.com/momanddadplus to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode: Elizabeth, Zak, and guest co-host Jaime Green attempt to fix a communication disaster. Our listener received some long-awaited genetic testing results and she was crushed when her partner seemingly couldn’t care less. Can she make him care? Then Elizabeth talks with Larissa Maloney of Active Kids 2.0 about how parents and kids can stay active at home. On Slate Plus, Jaime’s extremely relatable article about how hard it is to be a parent of a kid under five inspired a cathartic round of screaming into the void.  Recommendations: Zak recommends Le Petit Chef by Opinel.  Jaime recommends Mommastrong.  Elizabeth recommends A Year of Wonder: Classical Music For Everyday by Clemency Burton-Hill.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Slate Plus members get a bonus segment on MADAF each week, and no

On this week’s episode: Jamilah, Elizabeth, and Zak open up their cookbooks and share their favorite kid-friendly vegetarian recipes. They also debate how to help kids form sibling bonds that will last long after childhood. Then, we are joined by Rachelle Hampton and Madison Malone Kircher, hosts of ICYMI, Slate’s podcast about internet culture. They explain Elmo’s viral feud with a pet rock. If you want to hear even more, check out their episode. Elmo also joined our show if you want to take a listen.  In Slate Plus, the hosts are revealing what games and books they can’t live without right now.  Recommendations: Elizabeth recommends writing and submitting poetry. There are additional resources on Poetry Teatime.  Zak recommends using musicals to transition your kids to more grown-up music.  Jamilah recommends checking out her Instagram or Twitter to read her big story that’s being published today! Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of to

On this week’s episode: Zak, Jamilah, and Elizabeth help a mom understand her new step-daughter’s personal boundaries and love language.  Then they have some wonderful tips for a mom of twins who has quite the conundrum. One of her daughters has needed a lot of medical care and procedures, including brain surgery. Now her other daughter, who is non-medically complex, is jealous of all the attention her sister is receiving and asking to go to the doctor daily. How can she make sure the needs of both of her daughters are met?  In Slate Plus, the hosts are spiraling about the future—and those summer camp applications that are starting to pop up certainly aren’t helping.  Recommendations: Jamilah recommends Trader Joe’s Southern Greens Blend and Fermented Garlic.  Elizabeth recommends the podcasts How to Be an Earthling and Who, When, Wow!  Zak recommends taking yourself on a solo date!  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and

On this week’s episode: Our favorite Plus segments of 2021. We revisit one of the funniest—yet most horrifying—bathroom discoveries. We uncover the soundtracks to our parenting and brainstorm the School House Rock songs we need right now. We also gripe about Yes Day and hide from our kids.  Don't miss the member-exclusive segment on MADAF every week. Sign up for Slate Plus now at slate.com/momanddadplus and you'll also get to skip the ads, read everything on Slate.com, and support this show. Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode: Elizabeth, Jamilah, and Zak advise a mom who is feeling hurt that her mother-in-law has swooped in and taken over traditional “mom moments” behind her back. Is there a way to politely tell her that she needs to stay in her own lane? Then the hosts share the most useful piece of advice they received this year. In Slate Plus, they play a round of holiday hot takes which includes the classic conundrum: should you just tell your kids Santa’s a myth?  Recommendations: Naima recommends Roc, which you can watch on Pluto.  Henry recommends Nocs Provisions Zoom Tube.  Oliver recommends the app hoopla.  Teddy recommends Story Time Chess.  Noa recommends peeling grapes to make them juicer.  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s episode: Elizabeth, Jamilah, and Zak help a parent who feels conflicted about traveling to see family during the holidays. They love their relatives and rarely see them, but they are exhausted and not so excited to make the trek this year. Should they still go? Then, a listener’s toddler is afraid of everything. How can they validate their child’s experience while helping them navigate a sometimes scary world?   On Slate Plus, the hosts talk about Zak’s quarantine ennui. He’s been marooned at home for days and days. Will this pandemic ever end? Commiseration ensues.  Recommendations: Zak recommends playing catch with balloons (rather than heavier balls) with your littles Jamilah recommends buying a synthetic Christmas tree Elizabeth recommends Tiny Schoolhouse Calendars  Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes.  Podcast produced by Zak Rosen.