Myopia: Defend Your Childhood - A Nostalgic Movies Podcast

This week we watch Ryan Reynolds fight CGI nonsense! Which of course is different from the fact that his suite here is CGI or X-Men Origins Wolverine where he becomes CGI nonsense. We watched Green Lantern: In Brightest Day and Darkest Night, yada yada yada, I HAVE THE POWER!!!!! Or something like that.... We wanted to visit the DC Cinematic Universe in time for Black Adam! So we turn to Goldeneye, Mask of Zorro and Casino Royale's own Martin Campbell. How will Green Lantern hold up? Host: Nic Hoffmann Panel: Candace, Daniel, Nur, and Charlie Directed by Martin Campbell Actors: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Tim Robbins, Jay O. Sanders, Taika Waititi, Angela Bassett

This week we watch some damn incredible Rick Baker effects. We watched An American Werewolf in London, who doesn't love a horror comedy that is actually funny?  How does An American Werewolf in London hold up? Host: Nic  Co-Host: Nur, Matthew and Daniel   Written and Directed by John Landis Starring: David Naughton, Jenny Agutter, Joe Belcher, Griffin Dunne, David Schofield, Frank Oz

In an effort to fully break the mind of my co-host Daniel, we tackled the second Twilight Saga Movie: New Moon, the moon is for werewolf! In fact, I haven't listened to his edit yet, it may just be 90 minutes of screaming and sobbing, like a creepypasta or post hot wings night bathroom review.  This week we learn that Edward is a liar: "This is the last time you'll ever see me. I won't come back, and you can go on with your life without any interference from me. It'll be like I never existed, I promise." BULLSHIT, there are like three more movies after this! We watched Twilight: New Moon, mouth breathing edition.  Host: Nic  Cohost: Daniel, Matthew Guest: Charlie Rose Directed by Chris Weitz Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Christina Jastrzembska, Billy Burke, Anna Kendrick

This week we visit Stephen King with Silver Bullet. This movie has it all, one of the Coreys, Gary Busey, and a werewolf. Enjoy! How will Silver Bullet hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Daniel Directed by Daniel Attias Starring: Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Corey Haim, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Leon Russom, Terry O'Quinn, Bill Smitrovich

This week we have the power! We watched The Masters of the Universe, The universe is power - pure, unstoppable power! And I am that force, I am that power! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER! Will Masters of the Universe hold up? Host: Nic Co-host: Daniel  Guests: Candace and Charlie  Directed by Gary Goddard Actors: Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Meg Foster, Billy Barty, Courteney Cox, Robert Duncan McNeill, Jon Cypher, James Tolkan

In honor of the fact that it is taking place now, we watched 1973's Soylent Green! It's podcast, SOYLENT GREEN IS A PODCAST!  How will Soylent Green hold up? Host: Nic Hoffmann Co-host: Daniel, Matt Guest: Charlie   Directed by Richard Fleischer Starring: Charlton Heston, Edward G. Robinson, Leigh Taylor-Young, Chuck Connors, Joseph Cotten, Brock Peters, Paula Kelly, Stephen Young, Lincoln Kilpatrick

This week on Myopia Movies, the Lorax gets his revenge! We finish our M. Night Shyamalan Month with the Mark Wahlberg vehicle, The Happening! All I want to know is if hot dog guy makes it! How will the Happening hold up? Host: Nic Co-hosts: Matthew and Daniel  Written, Directed, and Produced by M. Night Shyamalan. Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Spencer Breslin, Alan Ruck, and M. Night Shyamalan.

This week we tackle the movie that made me stop watching M. Night Shyamalan The Village! Enjoy monsters! Blindness! And whatever developmental issue that Adrian Brody is supposed to have! How will the Village hold up?  Host: Nic Co-host: Matthew  Written, Produced, and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan Starring Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt, Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard, Adrien Brody, Brendan Gleeson, Cherry Jones, Judy Greer, Michael Pitt, Jesse Eisenberg and M. Night Shyamalan   

Note: There are audio issues with this file. I have cleaned them up some, but, there is still some artifacting. Sorry about that. Nic This week we continue the M. Night-a-thon with the first M. Night movie to lose money, Lady in the Water! This movie has it all! A mostly naked Bryce Dallas Howard (who is mostly mute), a starring role for M. Night, and Paul Giamatti with a stutter because his family was slaughtered...look out for a scrunt! How will Lady in the Water hold up? Host: Nic Co-Hosts: Matthew and Daniel   Written, Produced, and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan Starring: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Balaban, Sarita Choudhury, Cindy Cheung, M. Night Shyamalan, Freddy Rodríguez, Bill Irwin 

This week on Myopia Movies, we start our M. Night Shyamamonth! The twist is that it will start halfway through the month and end halfway through the next! In honor of the 20th Anniversary, we are going to talk Signs, the reason I haven't gone to a birthday party in South America. As we have been doing, we will announce in advance the next film! In fact, in honor of the theme month, we will tell you the whole line up of this Shyamalan-ebration! Signs 18-Aug Lady in the Water 25-Aug The Village 1-Sep The Happening 8-Sep   Host: Nic Hoffmann Cohost: Matthew Quinn Directed, Written, Produced by M. Night Shyamalan Starring: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin, Cherry Jones, M. Night Shyamalan    

This month we continue the celebration of the return to new episodes and talk the first Vin Diesel starring vehicle, XXX! We live for this shit! Well, maybe not this movie in particular.... How does XXX (not pornography) hold up? Host: Nic Starring: Daniel Guest Star: Charlie Rose Directed by Rob Cohen Starring: Vin Diesel, Asia Argento, Marton Csokas, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Roof, Richy Müller

This week on Myopia Movies we watch the first time Disney tried to do Star Wars, we watched Black Hole! Coming out 20 years after it look like it should have! How will Black Hole hold up? Host: Nic Hoffmann Starring: Daniel Suddes Guest: Charlie Rose Directed by Gary Nelson Starring: Maximilian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Forster, Joseph Bottoms, Yvette Mimieux, Ernest Borgnine

This week, in honor of the twentieth anniversary of the final Austin Powers movie Goldmember, (despite reports for 15 years saying another is coming soon), we are watching Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Yea baby! How will Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery hold up? Host: Jon Panel: Nic, Daniel

Since we are covering Austin Powers later this week, we figured we should release a silly Bond Movie as well. Enjoy this coverage on Never Say Never Again, a remake of Bond's most boring movie Thunderball. Sean Connery returns as Bond to spite the Broccoli's in what was supposed to create a new Bond Spin-off to challenge the Timothy Dalton movies. Oof. How can the director of Empire Strikes Back make a movie this boring! How will Never Say Never Again hold up? Host: Nic Directed by Irvin Kershner Starring: Sean Connery, Kim Basinger, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Max von Sydow, Barbara Carrera, Bernie Casey, Alec McCowen, Rowan Atkinson  

This week, we head to the beach for two films from the back catalog and former patreon to celebrate the beach. We watched the most recent role in black face to get nominated for an academy award and the last time Tom Cruise got to act nutty. We watched Tropic Thunder. I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary.  How will Tropic Thunder hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Fitzy, Nic, Charlie Directed by Ben Stiller Starring: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson, Steve Coogan, Danny McBride, Bill Hader, Nick Nolte, Tom Cruise

This week, we head to the beach for two films from the back catalog and former patreon to celebrate the beach. This episode we go to a movie that learned all the wrong lessons from its predecessor. After the success of previous episode A Muppet Christmas Carol they thought they could do another classic. The novel Treasure Island is a layup, right? Well, replace Michael Caine with Tim Curry and we are off to the races. Also, have it led by a child in his first role and you are in trouble already. How will Muppet Treasure Island hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Thomas and Daniel Directed by Brian Henson Starring: Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders, Kevin Bishop, Dave Goelz, Gonzo the Great, Steve Whitmire, Kermit the Frog, Jerry Nelson, Statler, Kevin Clash, Frank Oz, Miss Piggy

This week, we have done it. As I said Monday, we worship the beautiful specimen that is Pierce Brosnan. From the heights of James Bond, to the depths of The Lawnmower Man, we focus on everyone's favorite Irish Bond. This time we review the Stephen King adaptation SO bad, he sued to remove his name, twice. How will The Lawnmower Man hold up? Host: Jon Panel: Nic and Daniel Directed by     Brett Leonard Starring: Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Dean Norris

This week on Myopia Movies, we worship the beautiful specimen that is Pierce Brosnan. From the heights of James Bond, to the depths of The Lawnmower Man, we focus on everyone's favorite Irish Bond. This week we watch Goldeneye and learn who is Invincible! How will Goldeneye hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Thomas, Daniel Directed by Martin Campbell Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Izabella Scorupco, Famke Janssen, Joe Don Baker, Judi Dench, Robbie Coltrane, Tchéky Karyo, Gottfried John, Alan Cumming, Desmond Llewelyn, Samantha Bond

Today, as a father, we learn that babies are pretty much indestructible. We watched John Hughes' Baby's Day Out, is this the worst mafia on film? How will Baby's Day Out hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Daniel Directed by Patrick Read Johnson Written by John Hughes Starring: Lara Flynn Boyle, Joe Mantegna, Joe Pantoliano, Brian Haley, Cynthia Nixon, Fred Thompson

This week we visit the city of Chicago and visit a jazz club while running from the mop. We saw Adventures in Babysitting. How does Adventures in Babysitting hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Matt Directed by Chris Columbus Starring: Elisabeth Shue, Maia Brewton, Keith Coogan, Anthony Rapp, Vincent D'Onofrio, Penelope Ann Miller, George Newbern, Bradley Whitford