Stinker Madness - The Bad Movie Podcast

Trumpy finally hits the show and the dirt at the same time. Rick says, "It stinks!" Who asked you, Rick? Buckle up, space cadets, because "Extraterrestrial Visitors" (or should I say "Pod People") is a journey to the outer reaches of hilarity and absurdity that you won't soon forget! This gem of a film from 1980 takes you on a rollercoaster ride through a galaxy of Trumpy superpowers, dialogue that's more out of this world than the aliens themselves, and a plot that's so poorly thought out, you'll wonder if they were abducted by confusion. Let's start with the MVP of the movie: Trumpy, the otherworldly being with powers so astonishingly baffling that even the laws of physics scratch their heads. Forget about your typical superhero abilities – flight, super strength, and invisibility – Trumpy can do it all and more. From making toys levitate to turning plants into miniature disco balls (who knew flora loved to boogie?), Trumpy's talents defy explanation almost as much as the plot itself. And speaking of the

Eastwood and Sheen team-up to accomplish....nothing really. Its maybe the worst written movie we've done and that includes M. Knight Shamalamadingdong stuff. Let's start with the positives, shall we? The stunts in this movie are so over-the-top, I suspect the entire budget went into explosions and car chases. It's like they set a new record for the most pyrotechnics used in a single film! If you're in the mood for gratuitous action that defies all laws of physics, "The Rookie" delivers like a pizza on a Friday night. But now, let's talk about the dialogue. Oh boy, where do I begin? It's almost as if the screenwriters threw darts at a board filled with clichés and put them all in one script. The characters spout one-liners that even your dad would cringe at. And speaking of dad jokes, Clint Eastwood seems to be on autopilot, delivering lines with the enthusiasm of someone who's run out of coffee in the morning. Charlie Sheen's character, on the other hand, appears to be suffering from a severe case of split

Michelle Bauer stalks around LA in slinky outfits on a quest....for blood! Words, don't fail me now. One of the highlights of "The Tomb" is its nostalgic charm. The film exudes the distinct '80s vibe, complete with cheesy practical effects, low-budget sets, and a synthesizer-heavy soundtrack with corny beats and crummy lyrics that is very Fred Olen Ray.  The "plot" follows a group of "amateur gynocologists" who venture into an ancient tomb in search of hidden treasures. There, they unlock the tomb of "Nefratis" (played by the always great Michelle Bauer), an ancient mummy vampire who needs blood to stay looking like Michelle Bauer...so, hot. She is kind of thwarted by Dave (Richard Hench) and John Banning (David O'Hara) but really only because she kidnaps Dave's newfound girlfriend, Helen (Suzy Stokey). We're still not sure why she needed to kidnap her for a ritual because she doesn't need to perform rituals to stay hot, she just needs blood. Maybe pretty lady blood will make her even more hot? But com

Michael Ransom is back but this time he's Brent Huff. Yet he manages to do all the same stuff as Reb Brown and adds on Indiana Jones to his abilities. So this is an odd version of the "idiot plot". Yes it qualifies because the movie can't happen unless everyone is an idiot. But it gets weirder than that with Michael Ransom's (Brent Huff) actions. All you have to do is plant the slightest seed in Ransom's mind of something and the guy goes for it. Not only goes for it, but goes WAY overboard for it. Consider the beginning when he's told that his former commander, Vic Jenkins (played by a very out of water Richard Harris) is not dead as reported in the news and that the CIA is involved. Well instead of going through proper channels and just asking what the story is, he busts in to the office of the CIA handler and busts his family photo in his face. Maybe start with just asking questions. I mean the guy even had an appointment to meet with him. That meeting ends with a judo chop to the back. What's great is t

John Voight leads an idiot plot that ends with him being covered in goo but getting to be featured as the star of a documentary filmed by people he tried to kill. Snakes on a boat! Let's face it: "Anaconda" is not meant to be a serious film. It shamelessly embraces its own absurdity, delivering a rollercoaster of ridiculousness that CAN leave you grinning. The concept itself is delightfully over-the-top. Giant man-eating snakes lurking in the heart of the Amazon rainforest? Sign me up! From the moment the adventure begins, you're taken on a journey filled with outrageous situations, questionable decisions, and an unapologetic disregard for basic snake biology. The cast, despite their characters often behaving in the most nonsensical ways, fully embraces the campiness of the film. Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube's performances inject a dose of energy and charm, while Jon Voight delivers a performance so delightfully Wiseau-esqe that you can't help but enjoy every minute he's on screen. The chemistry between the

Insurance fraud goes awry when The Kraken pulls down the might Argonautica and Treat Williams flies through the Death Star explosion. This movie is an absolute gem that will have you on the edge of your seat... with laughter! Picture this: a luxury cruise ship on a routine trip, a group of quirky mercenaries, a humongous tentacled monster, and chaos that ensues. If that doesn't pique your interest, I don't know what will! The plot of "Deep Rising" is as simple as it gets: a group of badass mercenaries hijacks a luxurious cruise ship with plans to loot it, only to find themselves fighting for their lives against a massive, otherworldly creature lurking in the deep, dark depths of the ocean. Yes, you read that right—monster madness, folks! Now, let's talk about this majestic beast of the deep. The creature in "Deep Rising" is like nothing you've ever seen before. It's big, it's slimy, and it has more tentacles than an octopus on steroids. And trust me, it knows how to make an entrance! The moments when it po

Bruno Mattei and Reb Brown team up to give us an unintentionally hilarious and 80's staples full action movie. Danton better watch out. Prepare yourself for a wild ride of explosive action and over-the-top hilarity with the 1987 cult classic, "Strike Commando." Starring Reb Brown, this cheesy and hilarious gem is an absolute blast from start to finish, delivering an unforgettable experience that will leave you grinning from ear to ear. "Strike Commando" is a throwback to the glorious era of '80s action cinema, where macho heroes and outrageous one-liners ruled the screen. Reb Brown's charismatic presence and larger-than-life portrayal of Sgt. Michael Ransom is nothing short of pure entertainment. With his chiseled physique and unyielding determination, Brown effortlessly embodies the quintessential action hero archetype, making every moment he's on screen a delight to watch. What sets "Strike Commando" apart from other action films of its time is its shameless embrace of its own cheesiness. The dialogue is

Terry Hogan finds himself in need of rescue from VR torture by a group of precocious scamps who discover they love the smell of burning man flesh. First things first, let's talk about Hulk Hogan's acting prowess. Or lack thereof. His line delivery is about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face, and his attempts at emotional depth are about as convincing as a toupee made of spaghetti. But hey, we're not here for Oscar-worthy performances, right? The plot is a convoluted mess that feels like it was written on a napkin during a coffee break. Hogan plays a secret agent who is inexplicably also a suburban dad. I guess he wanted to show off his multitasking skills? The story jumps from one ridiculous scenario to another, with more holes than Swiss cheese. It's a wild ride, but not intentionally in the way we enjoyed it. The supporting cast is a mixed bag. There are a few familiar faces, but their talents are wasted in this nonsensical adventure. The villains are as cartoonish as they come, with evil plans that

A team of treasure hunters find themselves facing off against cannabalistic mole-men, dinosaurs and a busty alien queen who just wants to find nice man and murder everyone else. Directed by the one and only Fred Olen Rey and featuring the fabulous Sybil Danning, this movie is an absolute blast of a mess from start to finish. Phantom Empire is like a mashup of every wacky idea that a group of friends could come up with during a late-night brainstorming session. It's got everything you could ever imagine: treasure, spaceships, robots, dinosaurs and even an underground civilization! Talk about a buffet of awesomeness. One of the highlights of the movie is the fabulous costumes. From Sybil's familiar low cut space queen outfit to the skimpy cave girl bikinis that Michelle Bauer forgets the top for 10 minutes and then Ross Hagens crappy Indy look, it's all pretty funny to see. So grab your popcorn, put on your most outrageous Indiana Jones hat, and buckle up for a hilarious and outlandish adventure. Phanto

Denise Richards rides on the back of a mechanical dino housing Paul Walker's brain. Well that sound preposterous! Well it is and its great. Tammy and the T-Rex steps in as a refreshing breath of absurdity and pure entertainment. This 1994 masterpiece (yes, masterpiece!) takes a giant leap away from the conventional somber depths of remakes of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, instead bringing us a low-budget, high-energy romp that defies all logic and embraces its own delightful brand of ridiculousness. While Mary Shelley's Frankenstein may be lauded for its literary merits and complex themes, Tammy and the T-Rex boldly goes in the opposite direction, serving up a heaping portion of hilarity that will have you chuckling from start to finish. Denise Richards leads the charge, effortlessly transitioning from the realms of serious acting to embody the vivacious and determined Tammy. It's as if she's giving a sly wink to Frankenstein's brooding creature, saying, "Hey, let's have some fun!" Richards infuses the fil

It's a movie that made me wish I had the power of a mermaid so I could go heal the pain from watching it. First of all, the plot is all over the place. It's like the writers couldn't decide if they wanted to make a historical drama or a cheesy fantasy movie, so they just threw everything together and hoped for the best. The result? A confusing mess that made me want to pull my hair out. Speaking of hair, let's talk about Pierce Brosnan's. I don't know what's going on with his hair in this movie, but it looks like a wig made out of cotton candy. It's distracting and honestly, it's hard to take anything he says seriously when I'm busy wondering if he's going to start shedding pink sugar all over the set. Maybe that's why his character is always scowling - he knows his hair looks ridiculous. The acting isn't any better. The cast is filled with talented actors, but they all seem like they're phoning it in. I'm pretty sure I saw William Hurt dozing off in one scene. Can you blame him, though? The script is so b

A guy named Zed brings guests to his planet so he can chase them to a resting log and then mount their dome on his wall. Free slave bikinis and expensive lingerie for attendees though. Oh boy, where do I even begin with "Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity"? This movie is a wild and bizarre ride from start to finish, and I mean that in the best way possible. From the cheesy special effects to the over-the-top acting, this sci-fi adventure flick is a non-stop riff ride that will keep you laughing and entertained the whole way through. Now, I know what you might be thinking: "But Stinker Madness, isn't this movie just a cheap knockoff of 'The Most Dangerous Game'?" And to that, I say, yes, it definitely is. But it's a cheap knockoff with heart, damn it. The two lead actresses, Elizabeth Kaitan and Cindy Beal, fully commit to their roles as two stranded space adventurers who are forced to fight for their lives against a lusty hunty madman who likes to hang heads...up. Their chemistry is dripping with cheesy del

Once again, we delve into the top picks we've seen in our 8th year of reviewing "bad" movies. This year (because the first 1/4 of it was absent of movie watching for us) we are limited to only 5 picks each. Plus we discuss our favorite 3 movies of 2022. Enjoy and thanks for another year of listening.

Hold on to your black belts, folks, because "American Ninja 5" is the ultimate karate kick to the face of movie-making! It's so ridiculous, it's actually kind of hilarious. David Bradley returns as Joe, the American Ninja, in this fifth installment of the series that should have ended after the second movie. This time around, Joe is on a mission to save his girlfriend and stop an evil ninja organization from taking over the world. Sounds simple enough, right? Wrong. The plot of this movie is about as coherent as a drunk man trying to explain the meaning of life. Predictably, the villain has a terrible profit generation scheme of which he could have made ridiculous amounts of money if he wasn't a bad guy. It's a mishmash of clichés, bad one-liners, and over-the-top fight scenes that defy the laws of physics. And let's not forget about the comically inept henchmen who make the Keystone Cops look like Navy SEALs. But what really sets "American Ninja 5" apart is the acting. David Bradley's wooden delive

Growing Pain's Mike Seaver, marries his daughter, punches a cop and takes down a very dumb serial killer with dubious intent. Sounds fun...its not. Night Game is a disappointing thriller that fails to live up to its potential. The film follows a detective named Mike Seaver who investigates a series of murders that occur during Houston Astros' home night games when a particular relief pitcher gets a win. One of the biggest problems with Night Game is its pacing. The movie moves incredibly slowly, with long stretches of time spent on unimportant scenes that do little to advance the plot. This slow pace makes the movie feel tedious and boring, and it's hard to stay engaged with the story. Another issue is its lack of suspense. The movie is supposed to be a thriller, but there are very few moments that actually feel tense or exciting. The murders are not particularly shocking or gruesome, and the investigation never feels like it's building towards anything significant. The acting is also underwhelming. Roy S

Ray Liotta is one tough guy and he'll let you know about it. Its The Running Man meets Lord of the Flies and I don't think I asked for it. So its an interesting idea for a film at this point in time. Ray Liotta wants an action role. Fine. So he's a former military hero who received a life sentence after killing his superior officer who made him do bad things. He's sent to a penal colony but is just too much of a headache so they ship him off to a tropical island paradise. Huh. There he must choose sides between the Outsiders (raiders in Fallout 4) and the Insiders (settlers in Fallout 4). He's poopy about both so instead he tries to figure a way off the paradise island to go back to the dystopian mainland because....he's poopy? I don't know or understand him. The movie almost could trick you into thinking its good. Good(ish) production design, decent acting, competent cinematography. What it suffers from is two-fold: Its dumb and boring. Which is disappointing. Because if it wasn't dumb it might be "good".

That time your fiancé turned into a goop monster and had to kill people to stay ungoopy long enough for you to do it for the first time and then kill him. I mean, there's just that much to see here. This guy moves into an apartment only to be invited to eat some goop and then turn into goop because the spirit of a Jim Jones guy lives in the goop and splits control over your body. He then threatens you (astral interior(ly), its a thing) to turn you into goop unless you satisfy his bloodlust and kill some bums and hookers. Pretty standard stuff here. Oh wait, everyone else in the apartment building has to do the same thing. Oh, and you've got a pesky 22 year old virgin girlfriend sniffing around/wanting to bang on your super gross mattress (it was gross before you became a goop monster, so....I think that's her fault? No its yours). That's nothing really that weird right? This movie is bonkers. I'm not even talking about the best part of the movie but the plot on its own is as crazy as Death Bed: The Bed

You know the story. Bear finds coke. Bear eats people. Bear community is destroyed by illicit drugs. Rampant racism takes over bear cops. Struggle is real. There's not much I can say about the plot that you don't already know. So lets just skip through that. So lets ask this - does it keep the momentum for the runtime that the trailer has? Well...no. Sadly I think that any excited about the movie will be disappointed. Its a little too tame for what you're sold. But if you go in expecting to be disappointed you might be alright. When you've been disappointed by so many movies of this vane, you expect another Wolf Cop. So maybe all that disappointment will work out for you.  It could be a hall of fame movie but its not. So that's where I'm disappointed. It could have been great. Instead its just pretty good. I hate missed opportunities for hall of fame movies. If I didn't have such high expectations and needs, I'd have probably loved Cocaine Bear. Instead I find it to just be ok and only worth

Hercule Poirot sticks his nose into the show and tells us our business, uninvited! Well told him all the problems with his "detecting". So this is clearly Cannon Group's best produced movie. The production design is good. The costumes are fine. The locations are expensive and fitting. The casting is good. And that's where the compliments stop. The plot is far from diabolical. In fact, it's blatantly obvious and with and incredibly stupid motive. Then there's the backstory to the motive which is even more stupid. So because the villain of the film is so painfully obvious (mostly just due to a major actor in the role, hint, hint. Its not like Kevin Spacy just suddenly appears out of nowhere with no mention in the credits) 50% of the movie is just the cast tutting around waiting for the plot to start and then the next 40% is Hercule Poirot tutting around and wasting everyone's time. Its not that its tedious because most of it is stupid but it is completely unnecessary and defeating when the reveal finally happ

Dudikoff returns as Joe Armstrong but does any of the magic of the first 2 films come with him? And can David Bradley match up to his Alpha Ninja? And can Karl stand in for Steve James? Nope, uh uh and wowie no way man. So basically, our boy from AN3 Sean (David Bradley) pairs up with his buddy to save some POWs held captive by a snobby Colonel Neil Diamond and his terrorist pal Shah-Blah-Blah who want $50 million and blow up a nuke in NYC. Well Sean and Carl get nabbed and tortured so the USA calls in ol' Joe Armstrong to ninja up and kick his way through a ninja training camp to free them all. The usual stuff here. Along the way he travels to Barter Town, fights in Thunderdome and recruits a horde of barbarians to invade the baddies fortress. Joe then finds the captives, proves his superiority to Sean, kills Sean, finds out dead Sean is an imposter (because?) and then wanders off. So its the worst of the AN series and by quite a ways. There's very little remarkable in it outside of the lunacy that I menti