Hot And Bothered

We're gearing up for Season 2, but in the meantime enjoy this episode of the Love Letters podcast hosted by our friend Meredith Goldstein.  Follow Love Letters on Twitter  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Vanessa talks about how the Friends-to-Lovers trope reflects the love she has for her real life partner, and how writing her own romance novel has allowed her to discover the importance of trust in her relationships.  Meanwhile, Ariana interviews Vanessa about the importance of happy endings, how romance novels have helped her through her own life, and why she and Ariana started this podcast anyway.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vanessa and Julia deal with a Reddit question from a woman whose boyfriend has recently found religion. Should his attempts to convert her end their relationship? To explore this question, Vanessa talks with journalist Lauren Sandler about her research on Christian Romance Novels and their writers. At the heart of their discussion lies the question: how religion can affect romance? They discuss how religion can bring some people closer, and can tear others apart. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Vanessa’s friend, Liz, writes on the “Widowed Virgin” trope, telling the story of a Jewish widow who finds sexual awakening after her husband’s death. Vanessa reflects on her own Jewish upbringing, and confronts the familial urge to marry within the religion.  Vanessa, whose partner is non-Jewish and German, examines what it means to love someone outside of the community she was raised in. She turns to her brother, who married a wonderful Jewish woman, to discuss how important it really is to marry within your own religion. Vanessa comes to terms with her own happy ending as Liz writes an HEA for the widowed virgin of her story.  We also get our next writing assignment from #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn.  Follow along on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and send us your romance advice questions for future episodes to hotandbotheredrompod@gmail.com.  Next week: More love advice and a conversation with Lauren Sandler. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adch

This week Vanessa and Julia discuss a boyfriend’s jealousy of his girlfriend’s dream man. Can someone’s fantasy life be threatening to their relationship?  To get answers, Vanessa talks with popular Romance advocate and critic Jen Prokop, of @JenReadsRomance on Twitter, about romance novel covers and why they should (or shouldn’t) change. We also hear a clip from Vanessa’s interview with Nichole Perkins who talks about representation in romance covers, and how they could improve.  Send us your own romance advice questions for future episodes on our website at https://www.hotandbotheredrompod.com/advice  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jen wants to write a romance with her daughter as the main character. Vanessa just doesn’t understand why it has to be so...creepy. This week on Hot & Bothered, Jen uses the trope “Fake Relationship to True Love” to explore what her daughter’s future relationship might look like as a powerful, self-actualized woman in the modern world. When it takes a creepy turn, Vanessa wonders what sort of message Jen is hoping her daughter will hear. With the help of The New York Times’ romance columnist Jamie Green, they explore the line between pretending and lying in the dating world, and how growing up under society’s gaze affects our quest for a happy ending. We also get our next writing assignment from #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn.  Follow along on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and send us your romance advice questions for future episodes to hotandbotheredrompod@gmail.com.  Next week: More love advice and a conversation with Jen Prokop, @JenReadsRomance on Twitter and cohost of the Fate

This week, Vanessa and friend Julia Argy tackle one of the most intense Reddit questions yet: a girlfriend considering leaving her boyfriend -- a serial drunk driver.  With the stakes high, Vanessa and Julia struggle with how to give the best advice. For advice on advice giving, Julia turns to advice columnist, podcaster, and writer, Steve Almond. Together, they discuss the patriarchal problem of male rage, and what lies between the lines of love advice questions.  Send us your own romance advice questions for future episodes on our website at https://www.hotandbotheredrompod.com/advice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Elizabeth and Vanessa’s parents both got married fast, and fell in love after.  This week on Hot & Bothered, Elizabeth writes about the trope “Marriage of Convenience.” She’s taking this opportunity re-write her parents failing marriage with a happy ending. But the more Elizabeth writes, the more Vanessa wonders if Elizabeth is carrying some of the worst parts of the trope into her own life. She and Vanessa explore: how parents can inform our own idea of love, what it means to settle versus what it means to compromise, and what exactly is a happy marriage?  We also get our next writing assignment from #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn.  Follow along on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and send us your romance advice questions for future episodes to hotandbotheredrompod@gmail.com.  Next week: More love advice and a conversation with writer and columnist, Steve Almond. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Vanessa is joined by Katie Mingle from 99% Invisible. They explore this week’s Reddit question written by a woman in a 10 year relationship who’s experiencing feelings for another man.  To find an answer, Vanessa and Katie call Katie’s mother, romance novelist Pam Mingle. Together, they revisit a question from earlier in this season: whether love at first sight exists. Pam, Katie and Vanessa consider the difference between romantic love and motherly love, the failures of monogamy, and whether Pam will write another romance novel. Send us your own romance advice questions for future episodes on our website at https://www.hotandbotheredrompod.com/advice  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vanessa introduces a new podcast, The Left Ear, created by Dakota Johnson.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Marissa Martinelli is writing a real sex scene. Vanessa is READY.  This week on Hot & Bothered, we explore the trope “Mistaken Identity.” As Marissa tries to write a good sex scene for her mistaken characters, she and Vanessa explore the vulnerability of explicit sexuality, and wrestle with the freedom and the oppression of coded sexual language. Vanessa turns to writer, romance-novel reader, and co-host of Thirst Aid Kit Nichole Perkins to understand what we talk about when we talk about throbbing members.  We also get our next (steamy!) writing assignment from #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Vanessa and friend Julia Argy marvel over their favorite Reddit dating advice question yet: a girlfriend curious about her boyfriend’s LOCKED DRAWER containing a secret object he refuses to divulge.  For insight into the most mysterious relational secrets, Vanessa turns to advice columnist, entertainment reporter, and paranormal romance novel reader Meredith Goldstein. Together, they explore the boundaries of privacy, paranormal intimacy, and what we keep in drawers.  Send us your own romance advice questions for future episodes on our website at https://www.hotandbotheredrompod.com/advice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vanessa and Brigid share everything with each other - their thoughts, their feelings, even their endometriosis diagnosis. This week on Hot & Bothered, we explore the trope “Friends to Lovers.” In her writing, Brigid reckons with the way love changes in the transition from friendship to partnership. Together, Vanessa and Brigid wrestle with what they share with friends, what they share with their partners, and the intimacy born from shared pain.  Along the way, Rev. Dr. Matthew Potts returns to shed light on how we ask for care from our partners, and we get our next writing assignment from #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn.  Follow along on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and send us your romance advice questions for future episodes to hotandbotheredrompod@gmail.com.  Next week: More love advice and a conversation with advice columnist and entertainment reporter Meredith Goldstein.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Vanessa and friend Julia Argy fight over the appropriate unsolicited advice to give a Redditor who just discovered his girlfriend lied to him about her virginity. To make sense of their conflict, Vanessa turns to feminist and religious scholar Amy Hollywood. Together, they explore the religious history and origins of virginity, and the implications of how virginity is portrayed today.  Send us your own romance advice questions for future episodes on our website at https://www.hotandbotheredrompod.com/advice  Click here to download Work in Progress with Sofia Bush  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vanessa and her sister-in-law Suzanne agree: love-at-first-sight is questionable at best. Even still, Suzanne wants to explore a love-at-first-sight romance novel while anticipating the birth of her first child.  This week on Hot & Bothered, we explore the trope “Love at First Sight.” Suzanne considers how a parent’s “supposed” to feel upon first sight of their newborn child, and how love grows and evolves over time. Vanessa considers the limitations of love-at-first-sight stories in a world full of bad men.  Along the way, Vanessa’s friend Sasha weighs-in with her own high-risk, high-reward experience with love at first sight, and we get our next writing assignment from #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn.  Follow along on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and send us your romance advice questions for future episodes to hotandbotheredrompod@gmail.com.  Next week: More love advice and a conversation with feminist and religious scholar Amy Hollywood.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit mega

It’s no secret Olivia and Molly would love to have a baby. Vanessa thinks she might want a baby, but isn’t so sure.  This week on Hot & Bothered, we explore the trope of “Secret Baby.” Olivia and Molly have been patiently hoping and working to bring a baby into their life. In the meantime, they craft their own vicarious happy ending, baby and all. Vanessa considers her ambivalence about having a baby, and invites a chorus of loved ones to weigh the pros and cons of her bringing a child into the world. Additionally, we get our next writing assignment from #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn.  Follow along on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and send us your romance advice questions for future episodes to hotandbotheredrompod@gmail.com.  Next week: More love advice and a conversation with one of Vanessa’s favorite novelists, romance superstar Beverly Jenkins. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That’s right! You work on your writing, we’ll work on other people’s love lives!  This week, Vanessa and friend Julia Argy offer their support and unsolicited advice to an especially distraught Redditor wondering what to do with a husband who claims he’s no longer sexually attracted to her because of her past trauma. In addition to the obvious answer (divorce him!), Vanessa turns to sex educator and NYT best-selling author Emily Nagoski to better understand the nuances around attraction, sexual connection, and how to live confidently and joyfully in our bodies. Don’t forget to check out Emily’s new book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090  Send us your own romance advice questions for future episodes on our website at https://www.hotandbotheredrompod.com/advice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vanessa has been faithfully holding onto her old love letters. Her friend Sejal, however, has decided to burn her own memorabilia and never look back. Which one is right? This week on Hot & Bothered, we explore the trope “Reunited Lovers.” Sejal has made peace with her past and seeks a vicarious happy ending for two fictional former flames. Vanessa, on the other hand, is forced to confront the reality of a former toxic lover and what it means to doctor the evidence of her romantic history. Along the way, Rev. Dr. Matthew Potts weighs-in on how much of forgiveness is forgetting, and we get our next writing assignment from #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn. Follow along on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and send us your romance advice questions for future episodes to hotandbotheredrompod@gmail.com.  Next week: More love advice and a conversation with mind-blowing sex educator and NYT best-selling author, Emily Nagoski.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us on Patreon today for more of the content you love!  Another week to work on your next writing assignment? You’re welcome! This week, Vanessa and friend Julia Argy offer more unsolicited advice to a romance-fraught Redditor caught between the love she has in her arms and the love she’s read about in books.  Torn between fantasy and reality, Vanessa turns to librarian, pop culture expert, and America's Next Top Best Friend Margaret H. Willison to discuss the power of fantasy, and how imagining the love we *could* have helps us get the love we deserve.  Send us your own romance advice questions for future episodes on our website at https://www.hotandbotheredrompod.com/advice Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ariana Nedelman wants to write a romance novel, no matter how much it hurts. Vanessa Zoltan loves her friend Ariana, and doesn’t want her to do things that hurt! This week on Hot & Bothered, we explore the trope “Enemies to Lovers.” Ariana confronts her own enemy, writing, in hopes she may grow to love it again. Vanessa reckons with letting a toxic enemy near her dearest friend. Additionally, we get some guidance from Professor Stephanie Paulsell at Harvard Divinity School, and our next writing assignment from writer’s-block-busting, #1 New York Times best-selling author, Julia Quinn. Follow along on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and send us your romance advice questions for future episodes to hotandbotheredrompod@gmail.com. Next week: More love advice and a conversation with your new best friend and cultural critic Margaret H. Willison. Check out Care/Of vitamins, and use the code THEROMPOD at checkout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices