School Of Awesome Sauce With Greg Denning

We are busy people. And so are you. We have a LOT going on, as I’m sure you do too. Human nature often makes us feel that we’re “too busy” to do things like morning routines or rituals. We’re “too busy” to do morning discussions with our family. But because you are so busy is exactly why you MUST do family discussions and devotionals. (When we use the term devotional we don't necessarily mean it as a religious activity, although it certainly can include religion and spirituality.) Daily family devotionals are one of the foundation blocks for building a solid family culture. In fact, it’s a strategy we’ve used for two decades to create family stability even with a nomadic lifestyle living and traveling to 48 countries on five continents with our seven children. But creating family stability with family devotionals doesn’t just work for nomads like us. When it comes to your family’s stability, it doesn’t matter where or how your family lives or how long you stay in one place. What does matter is what sort of da

Fear is a universal emotion. We’ve all experienced it at some point. It is very real and very relevant. As a teenage girl, Edith Eger was a prisoner in Auschwitz Concentration Camp. She said that after she was released once the War ended, it was then that she learned that the greatest prison is the one in our own minds. Fear makes us prisoners of our minds. With all the people we work with — and through our own experiences — we’ve learned that so many of us are living far below our privilege, potential, desires, wants, and ‘callings’ because of fear. Even in our day-to-day life, we’re missing out on deeper relationships with our spouse or children because we’re afraid of the little things that feel so big — the conversations that need to happen or doing the things that need to be done. These things aren’t happening because of fear, and so your family life is less than it could be. Shakespeare put it this way. “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.” Fear is t

Every great story, movie, or book contains elements of what’s been called the ‘Hero’s Journey’ — a series of events and experiences that makes the story meaningful and transformational. It’s the process by which the hero-to-be becomes the hero of the story. The interesting thing is that the same elements which make a great story also make a great life. YOU can become the hero of your own life by living and following the ‘Hero’s Journey’. When you do, you finally get out of the bleachers and into the arena of truly living. This starts by stepping from the ‘Ordinary World’ into the ‘Unknown’. But HOW do you do that? And HOW do you do it if you have children and a family? Doesn’t that prevent you from becoming the ‘hero’ of your life story simply because you have other people to be responsible for? That’s what we dive into in this episode. Listen now for specific strategies for living and creating a ‘great life story’ by becoming the hero of your own life as you live and grow and ‘level up’ in each area of impor

All of us have been ‘conditioned’ by society when it comes to things such as HOW to behave and WHAT to care about. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It fact, social conditioning can be very positive. Caring what other people think or how others view us helps us to be law-abiding citizens — which keeps order and civility in communities and nations. But sometimes, social conditioning can cause us to believe and behave in ways that our detrimental to our own well-being. Social conditioning can limit our own growth and development.  However, it takes a lot of wisdom and experience to discern what aspects of social conditioning we should disregard and which we should keep. We have to learn how to effectively ‘break the rules’ of society in a way that creates something even better. This is where greatness happens. But in order for greatness to emerge there has to be times when you literally do NOT give a ‘crap’ what other people think or say about you. Caring TOO MUCH holds you back. Listen to this episode n

Can we start with a ‘slap’ in the face? In all sincerity, most of us suck at communicating with other people, especially in our family relationships. Plus, ‘communication’ seems like such a vague or broad topic. What exactly does it mean? And how do we improve it? We’re not the experts. And we still struggle communicating in some relationships or situations. We came to our marriage with giant deficits in ‘communication skills’. We both suffered with shyness and were terrified to even talk to people. And when we tried it was superficial or strained. When we got married we struggled sharing our feelings or discussing sensitive or ‘touchy’ subjects. But through specific practices — such as growing in awareness, or developing the ability to articulate through writing — we’ve been able to drastically improve our communication skills — ESPECIALLY in the relationships that matter most. That doesn’t mean they’re perfect. But they are much, much better than they would be otherwise. In this episode we discuss specific

Many, if not all of us, know of someone — are ARE someone — who has dealt with the devastating effects of anxiety and depression. Methods for dealing with these issues can be very charged. It’s a subject that’s often difficult to discuss, for a variety of reasons — shame, guilt, anger, frustration, despair. But they are subjects that NEED to be addressed — least of all because it’s becoming a crisis for youth and adults today. And what those who are struggling need most are advice and strategies that ACTUALLY work — and, as you’ll learn in this episode, more often than not, it does NOT include medication. The research is becoming VERY clear that most people on anti-depressants are still depressed. Medication is simply not the savior many hoped it would be. The truth is that the greatest limiting factor to overcoming anxiety and depression are your own limiting beliefs and erroneous or outdated conclusions about this topic. What you don’t know — and what you think you know that’s just not true — are hurting yo

Many of us have been taught or grown to believe that unconditional love is the highest of virtues. And in many ways it makes sense. Loving others — without conditions — seems to be the highest level of love possible, partly because it sometimes seems so unrealistic, especially when it comes to family members. (It’s even difficult to get clear on exactly what we’re talking about because we only have one word for ‘love’ in English. In Latin there are at least three — Eros, Agape, and Philia). But as Greg and I have thought about, discussed, and researched it over the years, we’ve come to believe that unconditional love is a lower, shallower type of love that is the foundation for higher, deeper types of love. And those more meaningful types of love are actually conditional. In reality, our closest relationships are — and should be — based on this ‘conditional’ love. For example, I can have unconditional, accepting love for my neighbor, despite what he does or how he treats me. But I can’t have a deep, meaningfu

Getting things done is one of the most critical ingredients for achieving your dreams and goals and building a lasting family legacy. Yet it’s also one of the hardest things to do because of the natural ebbs, flows, and interruptions of family life. There are mouths to feed, diapers to change, laundry to fold, meals to prepare, and dishes to wash. How can you even think about taking action toward your big dreams and goals? Well, that’s what we’re going to dive into in this episode. I’ve spent years reading business management and productivity books and always come away thinking how absolutely unrealistic their advice is for parents with children, especially if you work from home. But in this episode, I’m going to share with you the strategies I have learned and developed that help us to seriously get stuff done. These are the ‘secrets’ to our success in being able to ‘do it all’ — homeschooling seven kids, traveling the world, creating an Extraordinary marriage, AND building a multi-six-figure location indepe

Greg often says, “Tell me your habits and I’ll tell you your future.” Habits are the MOST important thing to determining the outcomes and happiness of your life. Habits will make or break your mental, emotional, spiritual, social, physical, family, and financial life. Where you are right now — and the quality and happiness of your life — is a DIRECT result of the habits you have had to this point. Where you want to go, who you want to become, and what you want to do, will be the DIRECT result of the habits you cultivate or break today. And yet, this is something that is not even taught to children, teens, or young adults anytime during their school years. It is something that few adults even understand. Instead, we’re taught to sacrifice our habits — or to develop bad habits — in the name of grades, tests, or graduation. This is a major contributing factor to the mental health and obesity crises we’re seeing in the world today. This is despite the research that shows there is NO correlation between academic s

In our line of work coaching families for the past 20 years, we get an up-close-and-personal look into the lives of many different types of people.  It’s a sacred privilege and we learn so much. We often experience a wide range of emotions, from empathy to despair to elation. And not going to lie, sometimes we get fired up or frustrated about the things that people do — or don’t do — especially the things that THEY know they NEED to do.  They will receive a clear insight about something they should do or should NOT have done… but then they don’t act on it. This is usually because it’s big, frightening, requires too much work — or all of the above. In this episode, we dive into the long-term consequences of avoiding or ignoring these important moments of clarity. Plus, we'll cover what to do about your fears of the 'unknown'. If you’ve ever had a very clear moment, thought, or feeling about something you should do, or realized clearly that something you did do was a mistake but didn't know how to fix

"I would like to be more confident but my face turns red if I am embarrassed, nervous, shy, afraid, or just talking with someone. Without that handicap, I know I would be more confident, but unfortunately, I let it stop me all too often. But I heard that Mr. Denning used to be really shy and his face would turn red anytime people would even ask him a question in class. I'm heading off to college soon and am a bit overwhelmed. I do the same thing, I am generally an introverted person, but I really enjoy talking with people and learning, but I don't want to miss out on that because my face looks like a fire engine." We answer this question in this episode and share our personal stories about being shy and introverted as children and teens (my face also turned red while talking to people). We discuss how we overcame these challenges and how gaining confidence can help you not only in college but in marriage and as a parent, too. If you feel that you could use some more confidence in your life then you definitely

As a parent, if you knew there was ONE major characteristic which — if developed — would drastically increase your child’s chances of success and happiness, not only now but as an adult… wouldn’t you want to know what it is?  And wouldn’t you do everything in your power to help your child develop that characteristic? As parents of seven children, we give a definite ‘Yes!’ We want to know and we want to help them develop it as fully as possible. Well, researchers have followed a large group of people from childhood into adulthood and they found a common denominator that could predict future success. Children who demonstrated more self-control at age 11 were more likely to be happy, healthy, and successful at age 32. And the best part is that self-control is a learnable skill. It is a skill that we, as parents, can teach to our children. And it is done in simple ways during interactions on a daily basis. Listen to this episode to learn simple strategies for helping your children to develop more self-contro

Emotions can be big and scary — for both parents and children. But it is possible to teach — and model — emotional management for your kids. Emotions are EVERYTHING. Our lives our experienced through emotions, so by default, the quality, quantity, and content of our emotions determine the quality and content of our lives. We can and should educate our emotions — and teach our children to do the same. How? That’s what we’ll cover in this episode. Strategies for dealing with a range of feelings (which are normal), and how to validate and accept them when they arise while working through them so they don’t stay to cause long-term distress or trauma. Don’t miss this! This episode is sponsored by our Teaching Children to Manage Their Emotions Workshop. For even more strategies on how to do this consistently and well, visit the link in the show notes to get access to this Workshop now! https://courses.extraordinaryfamilylife.com/pages/workshop-help-kids-manage-emotions --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor

There is a lot of ‘surface tension’ in the media today -- social and mainstream. Lots of polarity and opposition about intense topics. And it bothers me. Because it paints the picture that there are only two sides to any issue. And that’s just not true. We (as individuals and society) have to look beyond the ‘surface tension’ of topics to the underlying problems and underlying causes of those problems. There is so little we know — we as a society, (and especially ‘we’ as in Greg & Rachel). But we do know that “as the area of your knowledge increases, so too does the perimeter of your ignorance.” To have more peace in society — and to find more real, lasting solutions — we have to learn to look past what we THINK we know to what we might not know that could be true. In this episode, we walk through the process of learning to look BEYOND the ’symptoms’ to the root causes of the disease in society that plague us. We discuss the problems with a ‘symptom management’ based focus on issues — not only political a

We get a little serious in this episode -- and Greg sheds a few tears -- because in our work we've seen the trauma caused by yelling parents. “People are people no matter how small.” Your children are people. And when you yell at them — consistently and in anger — you’re traumatizing them. How dare you treat a precious being in your care with such contempt. Stop it! You’re the adult. Learn to act like it. They deserve your love and respect. Despite this harsh and straightforward statement, we are actually very empathetic to the stress and overwhelm parents are under. We do know that children can be annoying and can push all your buttons. We know that you’re exhausted, depleted, unsupported, and pulled in every direction. But ultimately, while yelling might work in the short term, it damages relationships in the long term. Yelling means you’ve reached your ‘wits’ end’, have run out of parenting skills, and don’t have a close enough attachment with the child you’re yelling at. Listen to this episode to learn ho

Have you ever thought of chores as child abuse? I haven’t either. But I shared a post on Instagram about our system for organizing chores and I was shocked at the number of NEGATIVE comments I received from people who believe that giving your children chores is akin to child labor and abuse. One comment said, “Parents who want to do less [sic] things by dumping it on kids should be ashamed of themselves. Kids do not need to have regular chores in order to learn responsibility and you know it VERY WELL… you aren't teaching, you are USING kids!” Another comment said, “There is plenty wrong and abusive in making children feel they must contribute to the household. Why? Because it's putting undew [sic] pressure on children, pressure that they should not have.” One more states simply, “Children should not be made to do regular chores.” And finally, “CHORES FOR KIDS? More like mom and dad don't want to do their household duties!” This concept wasn’t entirely new to me. I had come across it in some out-of-the-way li

When Greg Denning was out on his own as a teenager it wasn’t difficult for him to realize that his life sucked… but he desperately wanted it to be better and different. Nobody wants to live a sucky life and stay there. But it was so interesting to him to watch people live a sucky life — and stay there. They would keep doing the same things that would produce the same sucky results. As a 16-year-old he was able — miraculously enough — to look around and say, “Dude, stop doing what you’re doing and you’ll get different results.” It was just easy for him to see as a teen, even though he wasn’t yet able to articulate it into something we live by — “Nothing in my life will get better until I get better.” Greg came to realize — then experience — then teach thousands of people on five continents that when YOU get better, everything else in your life gets better too. In today’s episode, we are discussing how this applies to parenting. Many parents keep doing things that are producing sucky results and unnecessary pai

You may have seen or heard that we’re planning a move to Portugal — and hoping to travel while making the transition. We received some questions about this: “We would love to travel more, even long term, but I am getting more hesitant because of predictions about downturns in the economy, warfare, etc. I see a lot of people encouraging self-reliance and preparation at this point in time (ie growing and storing your own food). This seems like it would be hard to do while traveling. I want to protect and provide for my family, but I also see the amazing benefits of traveling as a family. What is your take on these predictions and what does your family do to prepare for potential crises? Should these things be taken into consideration when considering where to travel and when? Things have changed so much in the world in just a couple of years!” We also had some Instagram followers and podcast listeners asking, “How do you decide where to travel or where to LIVE? And how do you go about getting a visa t

We all have blind spots. We all have things we’re doing (or not doing) that are causing or contributing to our own problems. In our coaching, we often work with people who keep doing (or not doing) the things that are keeping them miserable and unhappy. If they could just STOP then they could drastically change their life. Of course, this is easier said than done, otherwise, you would ALREADY have stopped or started the things that need to be done and wouldn’t be suffering from the current challenges you face. In this episode we dive into specific strategies for DOING what MUST be done -- the things that IF done will change everything — improve your marriage and parenting, help you make more money, or to achieve that big goal or dream that’s been locked away somewhere in your soul. It can be difficult to make the effort or find the courage to do these things. We acknowledge that doing them is hard and that you might not feel ready to do them. But the only way you will GET ready IS by doing them. As the Stoics

Understanding YOURSELF and the other human beings around you is one of the trickiest and most complex aspects of life and relationships — Your personality begins to form from conception, in the womb, and as you grow as a child. You don’t start to become aware of this until much later in life (and some people never gain awareness of who they are and what makes them do the things they do.) For a long time, Greg and I were not fans of personality tests — until Jordan Peterson’s Big 5 Personality Test. They felt too confining and victimizing, labeling you as a certain color or number. They weren’t holistic. Human beings are more complex than that. This personality test is different and has been peer-reviewed and works across cultures. Greg and I analyze our personal levels of Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Neuroticism, and Openness to Experience. There’s a lot of laughing at ourselves through this process. :D In this episode, we walk through (and psychoanalyze) our personal results on the Big 5 P