Bad Soccer Dad

My conversation this week is with Craig Custance. Craig is The Athletic's editor-in-chief for the NHL-US and group managing editor for Detroit, Chicago, Pittsburgh and Florida. He's also host of The Full 60 podcast. He joined The Athletic after nearly a decade covering the NHL as a national hockey writer, the last six as a senior writer for ESPN.com. Before covering the NHL, he was an award-winning journalist with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. He's the author of “Behind the Bench: Inside the Minds of Hockey’s Greatest Coaches."   Reflection: Craig says, “You want your kid to overcome pain and struggle and in sports where the stakes aren’t really that high.” What lessons do you want to learn in this fall season? What lessons is your child already learning? Where are the opportunities for him or where to power through adversity or get better because of it? Lessons is: how to power through it, how to get better and develop   If you liked what you heard today, Subscribe to Bad Soccer Dad on Apple Music, Googl

My conversation this week is with Jack Wilson. He’s a former administrator at Oakland University in Rochester Hills, MI. He’s a therapist, corporate coach and sports performance expert. Jack is also a friend and mentor. 19 years ago, Jack helped Kelly and I with our premarital counseling. So, if there’s anything dysfunctional in our marriage, it’s only because I didn’t follow his directions well.   Reflection: Jack says “A person who can master release is someone who can keep their own ego in check.” Jack Nicklaus famously said, “If you care whether the putt goes in the hole or not, you’ll never be a good putter.” You have to care about the process. There are so many variables over which you have no control, so you do the process as well as you can. The athlete who can focus on the process and move on has the highest potential for success.” How do you do at letting go of mistakes and misses? How does your young athlete do at recovering from a fumble? Missed putt? Bad shot? How might your incorporate Jack’s fo

My conversation this week is with Gina Spehn and Sam Kell. Gina is a best-selling author, speaker and Co-Founder of the New Day Foundation. Her son Sam Played varsity basketball and is starting his first year of college at Oakland University in Rochester, MI.   Questions to Consider:  Gina says that ultimately, in our quest to trust God, the outcomes don’t really matter. That God has a plan for us, even if we don’t see it or understand it.   Where the one area in your life where you’re struggling with needing a particular outcome? Can you, will you ask God for the grace and strength to take the next clear step in your journey, even if you don’t know where it will take you?   Resources: If you want to learn more about the New Day Foundation, visit: https://www.foundationforfamilies.org/   To check out Sam’s radio show, go here: https://www.facebook.com/pg/dialedindetroit/about/?ref=page_internal   To learn more about Gina’s book, The Color of Rain, go here:  https://www.amazon.com/Color-Rain-Families-Found-Tra

This week I get to speak with Brian Bolt and Chad Carlson. Brian is a professor of Kinesiology and the men’s golf coach at Calvin University. Chad is an Associate Professor of Kinesiology/Director of General Education at Hope College.   They are the co-hosts of the 2nd Global Congress on Sport and Christianity, which will be held this October at Calvin University in Grand Rapids, MI. They also host a podcast on sport, faith, and life called Dig Deep.     Reflection: Chad said, “Anything we love deeply has the potential to move from a good thing to the ultimate thing. Then it moves into the area of an idol.” Here’s one question I’d love for you think about this week: How do keep sport in its lane? What decisions or conversations should we pursue to make sure it remains a good thing and doesn’t become the only thing?.   Don’t forget to check out Brian and Chad’s podcast: Dig Deep on iTunes and take some time to register for the conference. You can learn more at: https://calvin.edu/events/2GCSC/   If you liked w

You've heard from Naomi and Jo, now hear from my youngest athlete, Mariam! Stay tuned for our regular interviews that are coming back this month. You can find us on Facebook by searching for Bad Soccer Dad Podcast and be sure to subscribe wherever you listen.

This summer is flying by! This week we're doing a mid-summer special edition checkin with two very special athletes, Naomi and Jo Norman. Join in on this behind the scenes conversation while we are prepping for the upcoming fall interview season. Have any feedback or suggestions? Find us on Facebook at Bad Soccer Dad Podcast and send us a message! 

We’re doing some shorter episodes for the summer, but will return to our interview format in August, just in time for the fall sports season.  If you caught the last episode, you heard a portion of the Father’s Day message I gave at Central. In it, I referenced some advice from Brad Griffin of the Fuller Youth Institute, my guest in Episode 4. He says when we pray for our kids we should pray they would know: 1) They are loved and 2)That they’re never alone. After I gave that Father’s Day message in Holland, I drove straight to Chicago to be with my Dad, who was hospitalized. His pain had been difficult to manage, and he was drifting back and forth between waking and sleeping. But he knew I was there and wished me a “Happy Father’s Day.” And then my family, Kelly and our kids and my sisters and my mom prayed those two prayers for him: "Dad, you’re loved and you’re not alone. Dad, you are deeply and dearly loved. And you’re never alone." It would be our last Father’s Day together. Here are 5 lessons I learned f

Take a listen to this excerpt from Father’s Day at Central Wesleyan Church in Holland, MI. Sometimes we as dads (and moms, and grandparents, etc.) struggle with needing to be in control. In today’s episode you can hear about how not being in control is actually liberating and how to pray for your children with that in mind. For more like this, visit centralwesleyan.org. Stay tuned for more episodes this summer where we’ll be diving into different books and topics every other week and get ready for season 2 of The Bad Soccer Dad podcast launching this fall with some fun guests. As always, if you like what you heard today, subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Google Play, or Spotify and leave us a review. Have ideas or feedback? Find us on Facebook at Bad Soccer Dad Podcast.

My conversation this week is with Naomi Norman. Naomi is my daughter and has been playing soccer for 10 years. Listen in while we talk about dealing with stress, dealing with parents, dealing with aggressive opponents, and other lessons she's learned along the way and what it's like to be the daughter of a bad soccer dad. 

My conversation this week is with Don Cousins. I first met Don over 20 years ago when he was a frequent guest speaker and consultant for the church I was serving in the Detroit area.  Don is currently on the senior leadership team at Discovery Church, a church with 3 locations in the Orlando area. Don and his wife MaryAnn have 3 adult children who played high school sports right across the street from our studio here in Holland, MI. Don’s also an NFL dad; His son Kirk is the Quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings.   Questions to Consider:  Don told Kirk, “All you can do is your best. If your best is not good enough, your best is not good enough. Your esteem as a person cannot be measured by whether or not you are the starter. Your esteem needs to be measured by you doing your best.” Don’s thoughts remind me of a quote from Brene Brown’s Rising Strong. She writes, “It’s always helpful to remember that when perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun. Perfectionism is not healthy striving. It is not asking

This week I had a conversation with Lisa Payne. She is the retired CFO and Vice chairman of Taubman Centers - a Public retail real estate company. Lisa is currently a full-time board member and sits on the boards for the Masco Corporation, Rockwell Automation in Milwaukee and JCPenney. She is the mother to two daughters who played high school, club and college volleyball.If you liked what you heard today,Subscribe to Bad Soccer Dad on iTunes, Google Play or Spotify.If you get a chance, leave us a review on iTunes. It helps other people join the conversation.You can also find us on Facebook at Bad Soccer Dad Podcast.Message me there with your questions, episode ideas and specific ways I can pray for your family.Questions to Consider: Lisa’s daughter is learning how to play volleyball for an “audience of one.”What do you think it means to do this? How can thinking of an “audience of one” free athletes to play with less pressure, more passion, and true joy? Lisa says if she had to do it over again, she might hav

For this episode I have a great conversation with Jake Zammit, the Director of Coaching for Legends FC in Brighton, MI. As a youth soccer player, Jake was a member of several Michigan State Championship Teams. In high school, Jake was a 4-time Varsity player at the University of Detroit Jesuit; winning a State Championship in 2001 and receiving All State honors. After High School, he accepted a full ride athletic scholarship to attend Quincy University in Illinois. US Soccer honored Jake as the 2018 Girls National Competitive Coach of the Year.    Questions to Consider: What is your child’s goal for their current season? What is their end goal for their youth sport? Is to play varsity in high school? Is it to play in college?   Jake says, “Parents and athletes have to be honest with each other about what they want to get out of the game.” Are you having honest conversations to make sure you’re on the same page?   If you haven’t already done so, sit down with your child to plot a course to get to the end game

For this episode I had a great conversation with Trygve and Kristen Deede Johnson. Kristen is the professor of Theology and Formation at Western Theological Seminary. Trgyve is the Hinga-Boersma Dean of the Chapel at Hope College. They are parents of two children.   Questions to Consider: Trygve talks of having to unlearn some of the lessons he learned in sports. One of those lessons is: “Your identity is defined by your performance.” In what area of your life are you tempted to equate your identity with your performance? Is it work? Parenting? You own athletic endeavors? Your spiritual journey?   When he was playing baseball in college, Trygve started asking “What if I played, not to win, but for beautiful moments?” Have you seen your athlete create beautiful moments, even if the game or match ended in a loss?   Kristen asks, “What is the cost of youth sports for our family?” and “What is the cost for our community?” Is there a risk that a focus on “my” kids hinders my ability to think about “our” kids?   On

In today’s episode we get to hear from my friend, Rabbi Josh Bennett. Rabbi Bennett serves as one of the spiritual leaders of Temple Israel, Michigan. He’s been there since his ordination from the Hebrew Union College of Cincinnati, Ohio in 1994. Until 2 years ago, his son and my daughter played for the same Detroit-area soccer club. Rabbi Josh and his wife, Meg, are parents of three athletes and have spent many years in the worlds of youth soccer and gymnastics.  Questions to Consider: Josh asks, “What do I want my child to become?” Have you thought about this recently? What’s your hope for your kids? What kind of person do you want them to become?   After games, Josh says, “I wait for them to talk” and “Listening is more important than speaking.” What do you think? Is there value in withholding feedback immediately following a game? What would it look like for you to listen first?   Josh talks about the importance of starting with gratitude. What are you grateful for this season? What’s going right with thi

Today’s interview is with Brittany Reinbolt of the US National Bobsled Team. Brittany is a native of Southern California, but grew up in Searcy, Arkansas. While in Arkansas she spent most of my time playing soccer and running track. She attended Winona State University (in Minnesota) where she competed on the track and field team and studied Aviation and Physical Education. After college, she spent worked in the Aviation industry while playing women's full tackle football. Brittany spent two and a half years as a teacher and high school girls basketball coach in rural Augusta, Arkansas. In 2011 she made the U.S. National Bobsled Team and has been bobsledding ever since. She’s currently based out of the Olympic Training Centers in both Colorado Springs, CO and Lake Placid, NY but spend most of the year traveling for training and competitions. Want to follow Brittany or Instagram or Facebook? Instagram: @reinbolt_usa  Facebook: @BrittanyReinboltUSA TeamUSA Bio: https://www.teamusa.org/usa-bobsled-skeleton-feder

This episode features Molly Asmus. If you listened to Episode 5, you heard me interview her dad, Chip Asmus. Molly plays volleyball at the University of Dayton. She played volleyball and basketball for her middle school and high school teams. She started volleyball around the age of 12 on her first travel team. Molly is one of three kids in her family and has been involved in a youth group with her church since fourth grade.  Questions to Consider:   Molly said there was value in having friends that weren't teammates. Does your athlete have meaningful connections with peers who don’t play for his or her team? Molly’s parents said, “If volleyball isn’t right for you, that’s fine.” If your child decided to walk away from their primary sport today, could you release them to do so? If not, why not? Molly says, “It’s not easy being 6’1’’ in middle school.” Sometimes a child’s development or ability can make them feel like they stand out. How can we make them feel more comfortable in their own skin and lean into th

For this episode I had an engaging conversation with Chip Asmus. Chip and his wife, Stephanie, have been married for 24 years and have 3 kids. Chip owns a staffing firm in Metro Detroit and Stephanie is the Manager of Accounting at Maserati. His oldest daughter, Molly has been playing competitive volleyball since 7th Grade. Currently she is finishing up her first year at University of Dayton where she is a Middle Blocker on the volleyball team. His middle daughter Katy, is a huge fan of Molly and her younger brother Ben. Ben is in 8th grade and his number one sport is Baseball, but also plays football and wrestles for his school teams. When they’re not driving our kids to different events, or going to watch meets, games or matches Chip and Stephanie try to keep our focus on God, Marriage, Kids and everything else. Questions To Consider: Have you taken time to evaluate the costs and benefits of your current youth sports commitments? If you say “yes” to a particular opportunity with a team, are you clear about

In this episode I speak with Brad Griffin. Brad is the Director of the Fuller Youth Institute, where he develops research-based training for youth workers and parents. A speaker, blogger, and volunteer youth pastor, Brad is the coauthor of Growing Young, several Sticky Faith ​books, Right Click: Parenting Your Teenager in a Digital Media World, and the series Can I Ask That?: 8 Hard Questions about God and Faith.He and his family live in Southern California. The only six words parents need to say to their kids about sports—or any performanceQuestions:Brad says, “One of the things I pray over my kids every night is: I pray that know they’re loved and that they’ll know they’re never alone.” Do you have a practice of praying with or for your kids? If not, could you use Brad’s simple prayer as a model?Brad suggests coming up a with a pre-game ritual for parents to help them keep competition in perspective. If you write two or three statements to tell yourself before heading to your young athlete’s game, what woul

For this episode I had a great conversation with Dani Gordon.   Dani played travel and high school soccer, youth and high school basketball, summer softball and was a competitive figure skater until she was 12.     She played Division 1 college soccer at the University of Detroit, where she received a degree in mechanical engineering.    Dani also coached travel soccer for over 20 years in Michigan before moving to Cincinnati. She has a 13 year old daughter who plays soccer and basketball and a 10 year old son who plays hockey and soccer.   Full disclosure here, Dani was my daughter’s first club soccer coach. If there’s anything I’ve learned to do right as a sports parent, I likely picked it up from her.   Dani says parent sometimes view their kid’s athletic success as a status symbol.   Here’s some questions I’d love for you think about this week:  Is my pride the reason I need my kid to win? What do I need to do to make sure my insecurities aren’t bleeding into my kid’s sporting experience?  What steps to

For this episode I had a great conversation with Malcolm and Marcy Blacken.   Malcolm Blacken is the Director of Player Development for the Washington Redskins. He previously served as a strength and conditioning coach for the Redskins, the Detroit Lions and the University of Colorado Buffaloes  He was also a running back and a four-time letter winner for Virginia Tech.   Marcy Blacken has over twenty years’ experience as group fitness instructor, trainer and manager in the fitness industry.   Also, Marcy was my boss when I was a group fitness instructor back in the day.  Yes, I taught a cycle class for 17 years.  No, I don’t want to talk about it.   Malcolm mentions that a head coach in the NFL is responsible for who a player is on the field. But the directory of player development is responsible for who the player is off the field.   Here’s are some questions I want you think about this week:  What would it look like for you to view yourself as the director of player development in your home?  What goals d