Narcisistas

Court is very Jennifer Love Hewitt, Wil is a glossy eye and a little girls hairdo and Leif is feeling his Jon Voight fantasy... that’s right it’s THIS B*TCH Jennifer Lopez PART 5!!! From a Pepsi commercial that’s better than The Cell to the Latina Monster in Law reveal you must check out our new movie Kill Bill 3: For Colored Girls!! We all stopped caring about TRL when we were getting fingered behind our high school BUT we cover all the JLo music from this time including JLo feat LL ANDDDD LL feat JLo!! The beginning of the Marc Anthony relationship, Latin Albums, Dance Life and a new vocal range! Sorry... NO HABLO B*TCH! Marc Anthony is an alleged coke boi who gets songs from his dreams... YOU KNOW WE STAN! From JLo to JLaw & JHud every race gets a J!! El Cantante! Pregnancy! Twins!! Chris Angel! This pod is... funny??? Ah Gay people will listen to ANYTHING! SO LISTEN TO THIS EP! RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and you can always fall back on being WHITE!!

Wil loves his papi, Court peaked in the early 00’s and Leif is the ANACONDA BIT AGAIN! It’s Part 4 MISS JENNIFER LYNN LOPEZ!! Joining us in the studio today is not fellow Latin icon LUIY VALDEZ!! Luiy and his taco flavored kisses talk with The Narcisistas about his introduction to JLo on the far far away island of Puerto Rico. From waiting for tonight in the jungle to landing amongst everything white (including the people) we can’t figure out... What is MTV hiding?! PLUS! What happens when the Pop Princess of PR gets with PR Royalty himself Marc Anthony? Well... it gets weird! From OVER EXPOSURE to the Get Right controversy you gotta admit One Thing is the turkey anthem!! A Puerto Rican Day Parade SHADE, the Madonna slippery slope and a surprise appearance from the Dance Again Barbie! YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS EP! RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and don’t forget Beyoncé is the Marilyn Manson of pop music!!!

Wil’s got a GREAT wig on, Court’s love don’t cost a thing and Leif’s talent built the Anaconda Franchise! Everyone’s grooving and vibing on this one cause it’s THIS B*TCH JLo Part 3!! We left off in a very gothy cute moment so let’s pick back up with the official start of JLo!! The release of her 2nd album JLo (JHo if you nasty) and movie The Wedding Planner (a Virgo’s dream) made her have the #1 everything in the country! So what do you do when you’re on top?? Grab Ashanti’s vocals and Mariah’s sample and REMIX IT with the guy from Fyre festival!! Oops! It’s a shady Episode and a BAD time for women y’all! From controversy and a new marriage to the What’s Goin On All Star tribute we cover it all! From the BLOCK to Mogul status you better not slip up and fall for a white man! BENNIFER! GIGLI! WET SEAL! Grab your little gloves for your palm pilot, get up the Bubba Gumption to LISTEN TO THIS EP! RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and don’t worry Heterosexual street meat is EVERYWH

Will is eating dinner on a TV tray alone, Leif is Jon Voight in that snake movie and IS COURT FUNNY?! That’s right y’all it’s PART TWO of THIS B*TCH JENNIFER LOPEZ! So much to cover this episode from Tommy making women of color white to how women just need to start killing men!! Pop music is a dirty game baby! We give all the TEA from Anaconda to Antz this actress first is Outta Sight!!! But most importantly this episode we get to... THE MUSIC!! She wrote on the 6... on the 4 so let’s talk about it! JLo got Fat Joe and Big Pun so who cares about some unknown vocals!? Remember when we though the world was gonna end?! Grab your metallic cargo pants and your lava lamp and help us reminisce on these Y2K anthems! PLUS! Puffy, a jail stint and a GREEN DRESS that changed the internet.. YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS EP! RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and whether you BUSINESS CASUAL or GLAM HOOD you have our LOVE! 

Will is REAL as hell, Court is getting LOUD and Leif is cinematic masterpiece ANACONDA! That’s right ladies and gentleman it’s PART ONE of our THIS B*TCH JENNIFER LOPEZ series!! Joining us for Pt.1 is hilarious legend CHRISTINA GALSTON! Christina estoy aquí for the QUEEN of Puerto Rico baby!! Christina has had ENOUGH so let’s get into it. From Jenny’s Bronx beginnings to her Fly Girl breakout moment we cover it all! From Rosie Perez TEA to Janet Jackson’s ABS this episode will turn you gay before you get pregnant!! Her first marriage, her first acting roles, her legendary ambition and other tales from before it was cool to have A$$! The Narcisistas and Christina are the Neapolitan Ice Cream of comedy and one of them has their pubes braided too tight! We end this episode crying and singing over the masterpiece that is SELENA!! F*** YOLANDA!!! There’s so much JLo to talk about people! Representation matters! LISTEN TO THIS EP! RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and make sure it d

Wil is GHOST, Leif is CRAZY and Court got PUNKED! That’s right it’s a LIVE NARCISISTAS Y’ALL! We’re talking DIVA Conspiracy Theories and the wigs are flying clean off! Who did Beyoncé murder and what does S Club 7 have to do with it?! Beyoncé has how many “CHILDREN”?! All that’s important is that Keanu Reeves is immortal and the earth is FLAT! Some AMAZING guests join us to help take down the elite’s narrative... Ashley Hamilton is a deflated belly in the elevator and she serves us an Avril Lavigne conspiracy that TORE a family apart! Marilyn Monhoe is Crazy in Love and LATAVIA joins us in the crowd! Pranav Behari is Party cause he dripping SWAGU... and also cause Taylor Swift is a Satanist and Jon Benet Ramsey is actually Katy Perry! Mini Horrorwitz is Schoolin’ Life cause... JUSTICE FOR 4! Lady Gaga is a murderer and The Illuminati is REAL!! YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS EP! THEN RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and OPEN YOUR EYES SHEEPLE!!  

Wil is stanning for his White girl fave HALO, Leif is fired cause women do it better and Court IS BEYONCÉ!! That’s right it’s the Mrs. Salengo World Tour!!! Courtney Maginnis Salengo talks us through her wedding day and let me tell you there’s NO slacks around here! From being too Crazy in Love to care where the flowers go to getting the state involved you’ll be able to feel that bridal glow in your Bose noise cancelling headphones! If the top bunks a knocking... you might believe in heterosexual love again!! PLUS Wil’s “speak to your manager” moment and an in-depth discussion on if you can hear Demonic possessions from First Class! Beyoncé sold us Single Ladies with a ring on, Nicki tries to steal some marriage shine and a surprise DIVORCE bomb that leaves us shook! From Guns and Roses to Counting Crowes PLEASE don’t like white people music around us! YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS EP! THEN RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and NO WE WILL NOT START A SUBLIME COVER BAND WITH YOU!  

In honor of NYC Pride this weekend we have our first straight white male, Casey James Salengo (Comedy Central Half Hour)! He's also Courtney's BF (I know we can't believe Courtney dates a straight guy either!) We compare professional Wrestling to Vogueing balls and shade the entire Met Gala. The subject this week is Courtney but listen and ask yourself, would Casey clearly rather be inside Wil? We end the first of this two part episode with our NEW game, What Gets You Harder?

Wil is like “um... Race to Witch Mountain my love?!” Court is skinny and pissed and Leif... LIKES COSTUMES! That’s right it’s another monumental episode of The Narcisistas! The subject today is DIVORCE and our guest is like WHY ME?! Ladies and Gentlegays joining us today is hilarious comedian and podcaster MARA MAREK!!! Mara is showing us her nice tits and talking with us about her 3 marriages and 7 engagements! This icon shares her endless wisdom with us... how to keep all the rings until the cops get involved, fat cokeheads doing it all and how to properly share fitness tips with your ex’s new wife! From billionaires and dumbasses to that time she was married to... what’s his name? This episode has it all PLUS! What’s her relationship vibe now, loving yourself and finding the humor in your KIDNAPPING. If Merril Lynch STAYS selling you oil than YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS EP! THEN RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and don’t forget YOU CAN SHAVE A SOUL PATCH!

Wil got the GREEN LIGHT so he quit that B*TCH, Court is an underwhelming Duane Reade WITCH and Leif’s fired! Okie Dokie PEEYAW Y’all it’s another DIDN’T CHA KNOW episode of The Narcisistas! We don’t know EVERYTHING but what we do know will Eve and Gwen Stefani BLOW YA MIND! No shade to our Mormon listeners but Tom Cruise is a pocket gay! Gosling a Backstreeter? A world with only black Carter’s?! Did BRITNEY cause 9/11!!!??? I’m white look at my box braids! From pop culture conspiracy theories and pop star paranormal activity to the Hollywood walk of SHADE we’re gonna need to start a revolution after this one people! Plus! Big Willie Style! Baha Men! Korn! Snoop Dogg in a white setting! Norman Bates! Simon Cowell and so many more Drag Icons! YOU MUST LISTEN TO THIS EP! THEN RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and we thought Ellen was into the OTHER kinda Bush!!!!!  

Court's pregnant(?!), Leif’s wondering about threesomes in the Carter household and Wil’s like don’t try me life I’ve got a good wig glue! We’re RICH presenting and it’s another episode of THE NARCISISTAS! Today we’re talking THE FASHION INDUSTRY and who better to have on than return guest, Wardrobe Stylist and fashion ICON... SEQUINE LEE! Sequine is in Paris with a chopped bang because life is all over the place and we’re like hold up is that scripture? We talk his beginnings in fashion, the never ending freelance lifestyle and styling for people who wanna be BEYONCÉ but ain’t even FLAVA FLAV! GAG!!! From the good parts of Fashion to the I QUITS we talk it all! Plus we discuss the lack of inclusivity and diversity in the industry. Gucci blackface and rich white Republicans ain’t diversity y’all! Call up your girls from Sister Act cause everything is ghetto until white girls do it!! We end this amazing episode with a hilarious round of What gets you Harder?! Who’s Danny Devito and WHAT is Brandy Melville?! YO

Court has lemons comin at her from all angles, Wil is gonna get well soon and Leif is all Aereola’d out! Whether you plan on having a Christian Girl Fall or a Sad Girl Winter you’re gonna be all caught up on Miss Grande because it’s our FINAL Ep in the This B*tch Ariana Grande series!!! Ariana is the blackest woman in the room and she has no more tears left to cry so let’s get into IT! Pop a Benadryl to help you with your SNL allergy cause we get very detailed into the Pete Davidson romance! Pete is an off-colored Eminem but hey we Stan White legends who love Black things! How dare you minimize my TAB... I mean self worth!! So much to cover in this one! New Music! New sound! Pam & Tommy! Court & Casey! God is WOMAN?! Chun Li... that’s not right!! From Vertigo to full ethnic ambiguity it’s like Courtney to Wil in 10 years! PLUS an Aretha Franklin groping, the tragic death of Mac Miller and the breakup with Pete but don’t worry this story has a happy ending. We gotta say THANK YOU NEXT to her first numb

We start this one off with some LOVE for the Grandmas and a small but beautiful moment for comedy legend and queen GMA! Ariana gives us some hope and Court makes one of her signature DUMB JOKES! Put your pups on a private jet and let’s get into PART FIVE of THIS B*TCH ARIANA GRANDE!!! We got a new album coming cause these b*tches NEVER stop working! From Halloween Scream Queens to the TRUE meaning of XXX-Mas! You don’t go to Christina for the 8 Counts! The MAGINANATORS missed the PEEYAW! So a very big PEEYAW to the Dangerous Woman era! A Saturday Night SLAY, the Pete Davidson chemistry and WHICH song is BABY SHARK for the GAYS!?!! Make it Audrey Hepburn meets slutty but NOW! The charts love Ari so she can’t stop breaking records! Zoolander is a plane movie! Mac Miller! Hairspray LIVE! Fallon rumors! ALL the VEVO views! We love dick on this pod! Stay in your lane Aereola! She getting browner and blonder so lets LEAN into the URBAN aesthetic! Plus like a burning car in the middle of the highway we discuss the s

Wil’s ACTUALLY thoughtful and heartfelt while Court is fake as F**K... no wonder Leif has the GIFT to be GAY! It’s part FOUR ARIANA GRANDE THIS B*TCH! We pick back up in 2014 and THIS B*TH has 3 songs in the Top 10 and two #1 albums within one year... so go ahead and sit your dainty ass on a stool and let’s get INTO IT! She’s shifting from bubblegum pop to a darker 90’s influence so look out for OOKIE SPOOKIE matted locks Canadian icon The Weeknd (all the white women are wasted from the waist down). The Aesthetic is soo right (unlike Katy Perry x Party City)!! ALSO Who isn’t trying to bang Santa?! From the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show to Cloverfield the Music video we cover it all! PLUS! Big Sean! Cat Ears! What happens when cuffing season gets UNCUFFED?! We end by throwing is allllll the way back to 1776 when we licked a donut! Get ‘Merica back on your side by doing celebrity singing impressions people!!! THEN LISTEN TO THIS EP! THEN RATE! REVIEW! FOLLOW! REPOST! SUBSCRIBE! VISIT www.narcisistas.com and r

You got me walkin side to side because CHIVALRY is DEAD! That’s right people it’s PART 3 THIS B*TCH ARIANA GRANDE! Court is trying to be Rihanna, Wil is about to step on a neck and Leif is werkin too much! The heteros strike again!! Let’s cut the CHIT CHAT because our guest today is a LEGEND. The one and only TRACEY CARNAZZO joins us!! Tracey is Ari’s red hair because she’s simply BROKEN. It’s all a big MOOD! BRITNEY said it best when she just SHAVED her head people! It’s a wild episode so buckle up and get ready to fist fight your grandma (the one with the great A$$)! We discuss Ariana’s influences from Mariah to Rachel Dolezal... she’s black l’m black we’re all BLACK! I’ve got Raven Simone’s DNA swab! PLUS! How long are you REALLY gonna wait for Kid Rock to finish smoking crack? Tracy and Leif scissor and which one of us cut our own Hannah Montana bangs?! It was back when Fyre fest was just a twinkle in Ja’s eye!! From Total Ariana Live to 106 and we haven’t gotten there yet this Ep is one of our best! Miss

Wil is a dangerous woman but the kids still love him because he can sit on a D**K, Court is over here licking donuts for her wedding diet and Leif is BANG BANG cause it’s a hot boi summer baby!! That’s right everybody it’s THIS B*TCH ARIANA GRANDE PART TWO!! The year is 2012 and we weren’t even born yet but the girls on Victorious sure were!!! From an emotionless Emotions cover to the MAC MILLER kiss heard around the internet you know Nickelodeon was holding on for DEAR LIFE! Too bad Court is basically the next Austen Mahone! BUY our memoir it’s called LISTEN TO THE GAYS!!! We cover the making of her debut album that brought out all the 90’s R&B legends... I mean sure some of it was trash but so are the old episodes of THIS POD! Before she was the most followed woman on Instagram she was an American apparel catalog with 166million views that Billbord didn’t seem to know! OOP! Plus! A Beyoncé GAG that could be a choking hazard! Big Sean is our priest!? A Spanglish album no one asked for?! Oh and come on It

And a very first ENGAGED PEEYAW to all our listeners out there! Wil is tweeting about Normani because she wrote the song, Court is a child bride engaged to a successful comedian and Leif is greedy BUT he LOVES his MOMMY!!! That’s right ladies and gentleGAYS we are kicking off another THIS B*TCH series with... ARIANA GRANDE! You’re not going to believe what year ol’ GRANDE AEROLES was born... let’s just say we were smoking cigarettes by then! We go all the way back to the beginning of her journey... her parents were CEOS and she was a weird deranged goth child! We know! We STAN!!! From Prep school and the French Horn to the Florida Panthers (who for the record we DO NOT know) all the way to a big time move to Los Angeles to be on... BROADWAY!! We have all the scalding hot TEA that made this donut licker who she is today! One day you’re using the internet to research 9/11 the next DING DONG Nickelodeon’s here! Court is known in most circles for her LIGHTLY DIVERSE group of friends, Wil is THE CHILD DETECTIVE an

There’s a SPICY SEXY energy for this one people!!! Wil’s got her Jesus say YES braids, Court’s got alcoholic family FLAVA and Leif is actually Dax Shepard! Hold onto your wigs cause it’s a LEGENDS ONLY pod today!! Joining us in the studio we have co-owner of Calexico and stunning bad b*tch... DAVE VENDLEY!! Dave is falling down at the Super Bowl but still snatched and figuring it out! So many things to talk about with our guest so we start from the beginning! How the “genius” behind Calexico was actually that they were just broke! Ew! From the beginnings of the business fighting in Street Cart gangs and bringing back women to his room full of FREEZERS. Yikes. To googling “How to run a business” the story of Dave’s journey is incredible!! Oh yea and we can’t have a Dave Vendley Ep without talking of his white rapping days PLUS shit going down with Cappadonna from Wu Tang! Dave’s kinda like the Tony Robbins of starting businesses so he serves some scalding hot advice tea for you ENTREPRENISTAS our thurrrr!! Jus

We’ve never been so moved by straight love y’all!! Wil is Blue Ivy hittin the choreo, Court is SINGLE LADIES cause DUH and Leif is calling Courtney fat!! Take a hint b*tch!! We talking ENGAGEMENT so naturally our guest today is the funniest... sexiest... BIGGEST man alive Casey James Salengo aka MR HUSBAND!! A true GAG! They gettin married!! We get the behind the scenes breakdown of the LEGENDARY engagement! Edges are still on the floor of The Bowery! From Casey hiding behind that curtain to trying not to die he really pulled it off y’all! How’s the wedding planning so far?! Well not to be DRAMATIC but they’re getting matching Bugs Bunny tattoos!! Listen we don’t need napkins at our wedding it’s going to be a Beyoncé vs. Bruce dance party! They’re both gonna gain so much weight! Can you still do drugs when you’re married? What is Courtney’s 4?! Was the proposal actually between a sunset cruise or Trump’s second inauguration?! Did Casey only date dudes before Courtney?! If you haven’t sent us money you’re not

Joining The Narcisistas in the LOUVRE... I’m sorry The Brain Machine recording studio this week is Comedian, Film Maker and NYC Historian Tour Guide.. TOM DELGADO!! Let’s get into it! Wil is APE$HIT recycled hair-dos commanding the room EFFORTLESSLY, Court is getting Jay-Z together but in a lipliner because she found HERSELF, Leif misses the Obamas but they’re busy dancing at OTRII and Tom is singing HALO at a Singapore Hospital because The Narcisistas are SICKening! This week the subject is NEW YORK CITY and thank goodness because the bone structure is CORRECT! We teach Tom to EAT, take a moment for our HOTNESS, throw some European shade and find out why Court spends every morning at the top of the Empire State Building! “Pull over for the Picture!” and other hot Tourist Tips so you don’t get the $hit beat outta ya! We cover wild celeb sightings (was that William DaFoe arguing with a woman in Chinese?!) and we answer questions like... are New Yorkers mean? Here’s a hint... NO! But they will take a shit on 10