The Art Of Charm | High Performance Techniques| Cognitive Development | Relationship Advice | Mastery Of Human Dynamics

Susan Winter (@susan_e_winter) is an Oprah-featured relationship expert and author who rejoins AoC to show us how to handle a breakup in minutes instead of months with tips from her recent book Breakup Triage: The Cure for Heartache. [Photo by Linda Tanner] The Cheat Sheet: Love is an extreme sport: we all need to know how to recover after a crash. Why do breakups seem to happen more often around the holidays? Learn how to dismantle your ex's power to affect you and move on. Understand and dispel a number of relationship fallacies -- namely the Perfect Partner Myth, the Bad Partner Myth, and the One and Only Partner Myth. Regain mental clarity, emotional serenity, self-esteem, confidence, and wholeness with the help of Susan's Breakup Triage steps. And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Want three free rides up to $10 each? Download the free Lyft app today and enter promo code AOCPODCAST in the pay

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we explain why comparing yourself to others is a toxic habit -- and one you should make a promise to stop doing sooner than later. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Comparing ourselves to others we somehow perceive to be more accomplished is something we all do from time to time. The problem: it's a never-ending battle we can't win. To some, comparing ourselves to others almost becomes an obsession as unhealthy as drinking, smoking, drugs, or complaining. It's even worse if we compare ourselves to friends, family, or others we consider close -- because we can't appreciate their success without feeling personal loss. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success author Dr. Carol Dweck went a little deeper with this phenomenon in our show with her here. When we're close to people we perceive as successful, we should appreciate the

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How can you develop a stronger, more commanding voice? Some great listener advice for Actress in Distress from Fan Mail Friday #87 whose boyfriend is leery of the romantic scenes she inevitably has with other actors. How does Jordan take notes when he's reading books from future guests? (Three tools mentioned: Google Docs, Evernote, and Audible) Is there value in getting a degree for the experience and "educated person" status, even if you hope not to use the degree in your career? Can a relationship in doubt survive a little time apart while you each focus on your own priorities? A quick shoutout to Justo -- Susan Winter's porter over in NYC -- who I heard listens to the show. What a coincidence! The whole building thinks he's listening to Bachata, but he's listening to The Art of Charm. I love that. Have any questions, comments,

Susan Cain (@susancain) of Quiet Revolution tells us why being introverted is not a disadvantage -- nor is it an excuse for shying away from social situations on one's own terms. The Cheat Sheet: How "quiet" came to be a pejorative term as the west urbanized and placed more value on personality (extroversion) over character (introversion). Better ways to understand our introverted friends (or selves). Action steps for introverts to become more social. Why being an introvert might actually be an advantage -- in social situations, negotiation, and creative pursuits. Why brainstorming doesn't work and is mostly a social exercise vs. a creative one. And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 V

Mike Massimino (@Astro_Mike) is the astronaut who sent the first tweet from space and the first spacefarer we've had on this show! He's the author of Spaceman: An Astronaut's Unlikely Journey to Unlock the Secrets of the Universe. The Cheat Sheet: How is bedtime on a space shuttle mission a lot like a slumber party? Why assembling a team around you is crucial for success -- whether orbiting or staying on the surface of the planet. Why it's important to take small, deliberate steps in the right direction for the sake of your own happiness. How to stay focused on the task at hand in the face of disaster by thinking like an astronaut. Why even astronauts have imposter syndrome. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.c

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. In this Minisode Monday, Jeff Goins, author of The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do, joins us to go beyond the overused (and essentially meaningless) "follow your passion" advice and help us find out what we're good at and how we can use it to be useful in the world in a fulfilling way. The Cheat Sheet: Following your passions or making use of the skills that come naturally might be great for finding hobbies or jobs to pay the bills -- but how can they direct you toward your life's calling? What do you love doing with your time? What do you think you're good at doing? What do you have that the world needs? The sweet spot: where passion, skill, and demand intersect to give you a purpose to pursue. Pick something that fits into this sweet spot and, for the next 30 days, see how pursuing it feels. If it rema

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it possible your body's clock is determined at least as much by when you eat as by when you sleep? What are globetrotting Jordan's secrets for conquering (or at least not being completely TKO by) jet lag? (Swanwick blue light blocking glasses, soft earplugs, and a Sleep Master sleep mask are recommended in the mix.) A former boss who didn't listen to his employees and was never satisfied at work tells us how he turned over a new leaf thanks to the patience of those same employees. As a leader, how can you lead on those days when you just don't feel like it? Does having a significant other take away from the "selfish" lifestyle that seems to be calling your name? Being a "friendship snob" may have served you well early in life, but how can you make the change from a friendship scarcity mindset to a friendship abundance mindset w

Tom Wainwright (@t_wainwright) of The Economist shares the harrowing and sometimes grisly experiences he endured to write Narconomics: How to Run a Drug Cartel. The Cheat Sheet: Understand the parallels between the drug trade and regular businesses. Learn how ideas of economics and business apply to any entrepreneurial or business venture. Discover how drug cartels engage in corporate social responsibility, branding, and even PR campaigns. Hear why drug cartels franchise, regulate labor, branch out online, and diversify into legal (and ubiquitous) industries. Perhaps most intriguing of all: find out how an economist gets discovered wearing a GPS device to a meeting with a drug lord and lives to tell the tale! And so much more... If you want the most amazing shave possible, take it from us: use a fresh DSC Executive blade and Dr. Carver's Shave Butter -- two reasons to join Dollar Shave Club here today! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design -- even tat

John Ruhlin (@ruhlin) returns to share some of the best network-enriching tips from his book Giftology: The Art and Science of Using Gifts to Cut Through the Noise, Increase Referrals, and Strengthen Retention -- just in time for the holidays! The Cheat Sheet: How gifts and generosity make people at work want to help you. How to become an attention broker and stand out above the noise. How to get past a busy person's gatekeeper and turn them into an advocate. How you are wasting your "networking" dollars and time and what to invest in when it comes to relationships. Why your significant other hates your gifts and what to do to make sure she or he is blown away by your future gift selections. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Basecamp 3 at The Art of Charm, and it's the only platform you're going to n

Welcome to Minisode Monday, where we kick off the week with something quick and actionable -- to make you more magnetic and effective -- that you can implement right away. This time around, we talk about the importance of applying critical thinking to documentaries, news, and other media presentations to avoid being manipulated by their biases without having all the facts. Let's get to it! The Cheat Sheet: Critical thinking is a valuable skill -- but how often do we put it to practice? Have you ever been influenced to behave in a certain way based on information presented to you in a documentary? We should keep in mind that even the most fair-minded documentary is biased to some degree. Facts are flavored to support a premise -- but can you pick up what the filmmaker's trying to feed you? Try watching a documentary this week and look for the holes in the argument. Try to discern the filmmaker's motivation behind making it. What's the angle? To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Unless Kimberly Seltzer or Duana Welch have time in their busy schedules to help us out, we acknowledge our advice to women sometimes misses the mark -- and we apologize. We have a listener set us straight on what we should have said to 'Soldier' on Fan Mail Friday #84. As Philip McKernan told us earlier this week, what you're good at doing doesn't always align with what you want to be doing. How do you find the time to assess if your talents are keeping you away from your purpose? What is the appropriate way to respond to questions you don't want to answer? Here's some support and advice to Fan Mail Friday #87's Monica from a listener who knows a thing or two about the liability of a toxic family that can't get over the mistakes you've made in the past even as you make incredible personal improvements. Think you've touched on som

Philip McKernan (@PhilipMcKernan) rejoins The Art of Charm to discuss his new film Give & Grow. It depicts a unique journey of uncovering people's hidden and dormant gifts that have the ability to affect others, and the potential to change the world. The Cheat Sheet: Do you keep busy as a way to avoid doing the important -- but often difficult -- things in life? What's the cost of not regularly giving ourselves permission for time to do nothing? Learn the importance of uncovering your personal gift, the cost of not uncovering it, and how to uncover it in the first place. What's the difference between a talent and a gift? What's the difference between finding your gift and following your passion? And so much more... Avoid trips to the post office with Stamps.com -- The Art of Charm listeners get a postal scale and $55 of postage for free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Whether you're a lady

Nathan Chan (@foundr) built multi-million dollar Foundr Magazine -- a digital magazine for aspiring and novice stage entrepreneurs -- in three-and-a-half years by networking and sheer hustle. He's here to share some of his best secrets, including how to establish connections with hard-to-reach people. The Cheat Sheet: The tools for getting in touch with hard-to-reach people. The importance of serving first and asking later. Why you should never get disheartened when you get "no" for an answer. Pitching in a way that makes it about your subject and not about you. Why offering to work for free isn't always as generous as you might think. And so much more... Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one month free here! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Working with other people? Struggling to keep everyone on the same page? We use Base

In this Minisode Monday, David Burkus, author of Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual, joins us to talk about a better alternative to the compliment sandwich -- that annoying phenomenon where "constructive criticism" (aka something negative) is given between two compliments as a way to cushion the blow. The Cheat Sheet: The recipe for a compliment sandwich: Hey! You're great! | something terrible about you or something you've done that you don't want to hear | But you're still really great! This is designed to cushion the blow of criticism by buffering bad news between two bits of good news. The problem: it's disingenuous and psychologically confusing. What is the person being served a compliment sandwich supposed do with the information presented? In an office setting, for instance, they may well wonder if they're being promoted or fired when the boss offers them this sandwich most unsavory. David recommends this alternative to the compliment sandwich (courtesy of P

Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it okay to spend a few hours each day doing things that don't better yourself? Should you directly approach a company that seems to have taken an interest in you, or should you wait for it to contact you first? Might the reserves be a good compromise for Fan Mail Friday's 85's Passion or Paycheck? How can you remain informed about the world's current events without influencing your happiness and relationships? Would you go home with someone who sleeps in a tent in their living room? When you look for things like unconscious bias in everything you don't like, you're sure to find it. Quick shoutouts to Vilde Sjøtvei from Norway -- she loves listening to the show out there and applying things to her dating and professional life -- and Adam Solano and his lady friend Sam; they're lovely people, and Jordan's really glad to have met

Marcus Luttrell and David "Rut" Rutherford of Team Never Quit (@Team_neverquit) join us to talk about how you don't have to be in the military to develop the discipline necessary to reach your goals. The Cheat Sheet: How did Marcus Luttrell summon the strength to survive the ordeal he describes in his book (and in the movie) Lone Survivor? What mental practices do Navy SEALs use to block distraction and stay focused on the task at hand? Being the elite of the elite, do Navy SEALs ever suffer from imposter syndrome? How do you keep traumatic events from completely defining you? Will we be the guys who don't screw up an interview with Marcus Luttrell? And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use

Derek Coburn (@cadredc) returns to the show to share more of his un-networking secrets. He is a master networker and author of Networking Is Not Working: Stop Collecting Business Cards and Start Making Meaningful Connections. The Cheat Sheet: Why is indifference one of the largest obstacles in business today? Do you feel like the time you spend networking for new relationships might be better spent on enhancing existing relationships? Understand the power of unlocking dormant ties. Learn how to get the most out of networking events. Host networking events as a way to offer value to the people you already know and work with. And so much more... Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! Hate grocery shopping but you love to cook? Blue Apron delivers recipes and farm fresh ingredients to you. As an Art of Charm listener, you get your first two meals free here! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses c

Oliver Burkeman, author of The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking, joins us for this Minisode Monday to talk about how the relentless pursuit of goals can figuratively -- and in some cases literally -- kill us. The Cheat Sheet: Popular beliefs about goal setting strategies may do more harm than good. The overpursuit of goals can, in extreme cases, kill. Case in point: the 1996 Mount Everest Disaster as detailed by D. Christopher Kayes in his book Destructive Goal Pursuit: The Mt. Everest Disaster. Why being completely identified with a goal (like a mountain climber or arctic explorer) can make us charge ahead when all signs are really telling us to turn back or regroup. As an alternative to this approach, Oliver urges us toward a looser, more flexible conception of goals -- like a frog on a lily pad. To learn more about social dynamics and productivity hacks, take the Art of Charm Challenge by clicking here, or text CHARMED to 33444. Also be sure to check out our Social Capital

Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #87! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend! Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you balance your need to find the best career fit with being transparent to the people who believed in you from the get-go? Should you stick with your company that won't promote you unless you get an advanced degree -- even though you've been there for years and believe your experience should count for something? After years of substance abuse and hitting rock bottom, you're now on track to getting your life back. But what do you do when your negative family keeps judging you for mistakes of the past in spite of having a good relationship and excellent grades? How can you successfully manage your relationships at work without getting too involved in the gossip that prevails there? What do you do when you're an actor and your significant other freaks out at the prospect of your inevitable romantic scenes? A quick shou

The Art of Charm (@TheArtofCharm) has ways of making you talk! If you want to know how to keep a conversation going and avoid the awkward calm that sometimes besets even the most animated of chats, you'll want to dip into the toolbox for this one. [Image of awkward conversation captured by Kyle Taylor] The Cheat Sheet: The best conversationalists are the best listeners. What do you do when you run out of things to say in a conversation? Learn how to lessen the crushing pressure of being interesting by focusing on being interested. Understand how to stay tuned in to the conversation by picking up on often-ignored (but crucially important) nonverbal cues. Banish meaningless small talk and learn how to ask questions that build rapport and natural conversation. And so much more... Don't like to shop for clothes? Let Five Four Club be your personal fashion stylist. Complete a short style quiz and receive a monthly curated package at your doorstep! Go to fivefourclub.com and use promo code CHARM at sign-up to get