The Tom Barnard Show

The impeachment hearings continue, none of which we've watched except for the odd sound bite, just like the founding fathers intended.  We find Thanksgiving (and Christmas, which have somehow became the same thing) much more interesting.  Wake us up when someone gets drunk on the stand and starts swearing.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It takes a special someone to become Miss America....and I'm not just saying the beauty part of it that's tough. There's a lot of responsibility that comes along with it. Same with being a parent to young children that asks you questions "What is Death?" Oh, here we go... Miss Unlikely: From Farm Girl to Miss America- amzn.to/2KzClVeSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Did you know that Nik is a collector of valuable antiques?  We suspect he may be a James Bond villain.  Think about it.  Lives in a secluded area, claims to procure expensive capital for next to nothing, wears all black.  Sure he's nice, but Bond probably was at odds with a nice guy at least once.  Maybe in one of those old ones that everyone forgot about.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There are currently more regulations involving raising a child than the human brain can possibly hold, let alone process.  Not that safety isn't our number one concern here at The Family, but we do find it odd that the way we grew up would have given us a near-100% chance of dying young according to modern thought. Jeff's Standup Comedy Show at Acme Comedy Company TONIGHT ONLY @ 8pmTickets: bit.ly/AcmeJeffAllenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Spending time with children, apparently, causes mental regression.  At least in some areas.  If you're expecting high brow, look elsewhere.  Even the generational gap has been reduced to a two word thought-terminating cliche.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Weight loss is hard.  Even so, taking 20 years to lose 50 pounds isn't exactly normal.  That is, unless you're doing the wrong thing the entire time.  Mary cut out salt and became a resident of Thin City.  Bad news for football fans whose diet consists of chicken wings and potato chips for at least one day a week.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In the 50s, 3D movies were the future.  Then they weren't, then they were again, and once again, now they're not.  Except Pixar movies, those look pretty good.  Also one other kind of movie.  We'll let you make that discovery on your own.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

These clips are rowing the boat on this episode of The Best Of. Featuring: Texas comedian Will Lee Martin, SNL Alum Chris Kattan, Paul Mecurio turns the tables and interviews tom.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It wouldn't be a Chris Kattan interview without mentioning Night at the Roxbury or Mango, sure, but did you know he's also a comic philosopher?  After being in an industry for long enough, you either achieve mental mastery or you go crazy.  We chose crazy.  It's not for everyone.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Here at The Family, we're not a 24 hour news cycle.  We're not even a 2 hour news cycle.  30 minutes, tops.  That means you can trust us 48 times more than the media.  You can also trust Asif.  We have it on good authority that he's never dumped a bucket of anything on anyone.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Being a podcast, we're pretty close to the advertising industry.  Radio is even closer.  And at the very closest end of the spectrum is J. Marie Fieger, the CEO of Nemer Fieger, which in addition to being the premier advertising agency in Minnesota also has a name that almost rhymes.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You may have heard Tom mention that he's a centrist.  Maybe.  Will is also a centrist, and he's also a cowboy, so he's got the upper hand.  If he likes Black Jesus then he might qualify as a stand-in for Tom if need be.  Furthermore, he's a comedian debuting a couple specials just in time for the holidays, so watch for those online.  Everything is online now.  It's the future.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Here at The Family, we're used to two things: being unapologetically favored, and always having the last word.  Imagine our surprise when our guests are each one of those things.  Though to be clear, The Last Word is not in fact The O'Jays' last word.  It's just the last word. Unapologetically Favored: A woman. A leader. A testimonyBook- amzn.to/33GJTNqSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There is a constantly-running show that's older than most people currently alive.  No, not The Simpsons.  It's Days of Our Lives, soon to be memories of our lives.  Well, assuming you watched it.  Some other classic things that are going away include milk, cheap restaurants, and ethnic stereotypes in Disney movies.  Except Italians, they're still fair play apparently.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There is much pomp and circumstance in this episode, but this time it's actually real.  What else do you call an hour that contains both the former editor-in-chief of Simon and Schuster and the former CEO of Citigroup's Global Investment Management?  They're both also about a thousand other things, most recently author. Passing: A Memoir of Love and DeathBook- amzn.to/36Y1XVc From Willard Straight to Wall Street: A Memoir Book- amzn.to/2XhuT6xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Having a dog die on screen is a surefire way to get people feeling bad.  Pair that with about 70 other rapidfire tragedies and you've got a movie that's so sad nobody wants to see it.  Some people, however, watch things even when they're explicitly told not to.  Actions have consequences, people.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There are basically two schools of thought when it comes to being an empty nester.  You're either thankful to be done with the job or you get lonely.  Or both.  Either way, it means a lot of free time, which means you can sail as much as you want. Uncharted: A Couple's Epic Empty-Nest Adventure Sailing from One Life to AnotherBook- amzn.to/37257aOSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Disney recently realized that replacing animators with actors saves a lot of money, so it's all they do any more.  Does it work?  Not really.  We're still going to buy Disney Plus though.  We're on a quest to collect every streaming service in the world.  They say if you collect them all you achieve media singularity and can actually watch every channel whenever you want, just like the old days of 20 years ago.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Row the boat clips, row the boat! Featuring: Tom Rhodes, Gavin Edwards, Roy Wood Jr.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Who's better, Sweden or Norway?  Don't answer that; it's a much more serious question than you realize.  In Scandinavia anyway.  The next time you go to IKEA, just make sure to be diplomatic.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.