Sexual Addiction:strength/hope/recovery

It is so exhausting to deal with the collateral damage of being a partner. It is just so unfair!  You didn't ask for the betrayal with all of its emotional wounding and many partners wonder if they will ever be able to recover. To make matters worse, partners put themselves on the back burner. Partners have options to get intense help but they delay it because: They resent that they need to make space for this "_____." They resent that there is a need for this support and that it would take them away from their families for 3.5. or 7 days. And yet we know empiracallly that often times the brain needs to reset and being away in a supportive enviroment with others who have been through the same thing is exactly what needs to happen to recalibrate and find the safety and mindset to move forward into restoration of your own life as a couple and individually, Listen as Carol talks with Heidi Kinsella abouth the Partner Intensives that they have created together for Partners!

When a partner feels Post-Traumatic Growth, she is much more likely to want to share it with other women who need the encouragement! Listen as Carol the Coach, interviews a partner to find out how she got healthy and what she learned about herself!

Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Floyd G. Potts who has written Why Your Man Will Not Stop Cheating Until He Does This. In his book Floyd unlocks the key to sex addiction recovery and he wants to tell you about it today. This is Floyd's life story and he wants to help others heal.

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing the founder of Safe Space who created it as a resource for women who needed perspective and healing due to the destructive impacts of a romantic relationship.  Having experienced an intensely destructive and confusing marriage, she knew how overwhelming, frightening, and heartbreaking it can be.  She explains in our interview, "I left that marriage terrified, disoriented, and very, very broken.  It took me a long time to put a lot of the pieces together- pieces that allowed me to not only make sense of the reality of what I had experienced, but also feel like I was healing personally.  Through my professional work and personal life, I have since come into contact with so many other courageous and beautiful women whose lives have been turned upside down by destructive relationships. And I am amazed (and saddened) by how many of us there are! Every relationship and every individual is different, and experiencing destructive and confusing patterns in a relationship co

Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Julie St Onge as she talks about how brainspotting can assist couples in their relational struggles. Brainspotting allows the emotional brain to reprocess trauma and reorganize it into the cortex or logical brain. It expedites the healing process. It is a process that involves using the optic nerve direction and bilateral music. We tap into where the trauma is and allow it to reprocess and reduce. This is not exposure therapy.  The benefit to couples spotting is that the wounding between the couple comes up immediately. This allows the couple to be more aware of the injuries and triggers that surface without any spoken words. They can be processed and even notice how one wound triggers another. Couples experience connection at a deep level as the emotional base heals. This allows more effective communication and use of tools and skills. 

Carol the Coach interviews Dr. Jill Manning, the creator of a Therapeutic Separation Planning Guide. This one-of-a-kind guide provides clinicians, coaches, and couples with a highly structured, worksheet-style resource for planning a customized therapeutic separation. Over 120 open-ended questions cover key topics for separating couples. In addition to a visually appealing layout, expert tips, research data, and quotes are included to assist couples in organizing a therapeutic separation that is as healing as possible. This digital resource is a must-have for anyone contemplating a therapeutic separation, or for professionals working with couples who are candidates for this type of intervention. A Therapeutic Separation Planning Guide is a 59-page PDF digital document that is divided into two main sections. Section one is for individual brainstorming by each partner, and section two is where the finalized therapeutic separation agreement comes together and is signed by the couple and the professionals involv

Listen as Carol the Coach interviews Maurice Crane who is forming a new outreach for men who are struggling with sexual integrity. Grace Based Recovery is the foundation of Be Broken Ministries in San Antonio Texas. Be Broken Ministries is a ministry to men, wives, families with an emphasis on recovery from unwanted sexual behaviors, otherwise known as sex addiction.  Be Broken's flagship outreach is the Gateway to Freedom Weekend Workshops held in San Antonio, TX, Orlando FL and Mt. Bethel PA.  A new outreach is forming to help churches and faith based community leaders come together to continue to address the issue of epidemic sexual addiction:  Grace Based Recovery Groups.  In a Grace Based Recovery group you create an environment of safety for men to gather to share their deepest of sexual struggles as well as their marital/family issues and find the reception warm and inviting to help men, over time, open up to a place of vulnerability. It is an accountability group with an emphasis on growing together

Partners who experience berayal trauma can learn how to deal with the impact it has on their health. Today, Carol the Coach, interviews 2 partner betrayal specialists who have helped with other specialists to create a workshop for women who need to reclaim their lives. In this workshop, women will be able to : 1. Learn from partner betrayal trauma and behavioral health specialists 2. Grieve the losses with other women on a similar journey 3. Claim and give voice to their Body Bears the Burden path 4. Honor their story, honor your body, honor yourself Listen as Dr. Janice Caudill and Julie StOnges talk about this healing workshop available on Jan 14th from 9-0pm EST.  They would also like for you to take their survey to gain research on how partner betrayal has impacted you!

Today, Carol the Coach interviews a listener who is confused about his status and his spouses status.There has been many types of betrayal by his partner and he wants help navigating how to keep himself safe. He has much resentment about the betrayals that she was a part of and wants some clarity from Carol the Coach.

Tony Blevins and his wife Rebecca recently started a coaching practice with a two-fold mission: to help men recover from sex addiction and provide resources to their spouses who experience betrayal trauma. Tony uses  motivational interviewing techniques to help men develop and maintain effective sobriety plans so they can lead a healthy sеxual life free of compulsive urges and unwanted behaviors. Rebecca writes her blog for two reasons. It is healing for her to share her feelings and experiences. She also wants to validate you and to let you know that you are not alone, you are not crazy, and you are going to be OK.  Listen as Carol the Coach finds out how this couple has found post traumatic growth.

Today Carol the Coach will be talking to Alex A. Avila, who has written a new book that will come out 10.8.22 callEmotional Safety: Honoring Yourself While Creating Trust and Presence to Experience Meaningful Relationships. He will talk about the need for emotional safety so that you can build on a foundation that is required tocreate a new relationship. This book and our discussion will help us understand the emotional pain and distance we experience from others and how to navigate that gap with confidence. Particularly after repairing betrayal, we can learn how to protect ourselves and make sense of our current pain in the context of our entire lives and our core needs. Emotional safety is an innate tool that helps us carefully assess whether to build new relationships with people who have harmed us. When we decide to do so, the book helps us begin taking specific steps that still honor ourselves in the process.

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Melissa Ruff who has developed livefreewives.org to serve woman who want to be free of the anxiety and fear that accompanies partner betrayal.She is going to share with partners how they can REALLY tell if theri husband is in true recovery or white knuckling it.

Today Carol and Kim talk about the ERCEM Model and the book that came out to guide you through your healing.

How to tell if your partner is slipping or you are?   There are many reasons to stay in a relationship, from family, finances, and most importantly love. But staying in a relationship where both parties are figuring out the next steps after the discovery of SA isn’t easy. What if they cheat? What if I can never trust them again? How will I be able to tell if we can move past these issues or if our relationship is doomed? Sometimes, the problem isn’t your partner. In this podcast, Carol the Coach will explore with Rebecca Stokes how to  explore the green lights that tell you your partner is doing well, and maybe it’s your turn to do some work, as well as, the red lights that reveal real problems. We’ll talk about how past traumas and betrayals impact the brain and nervous system, leading to cloudy decision making. Then we’ll look at what you can do to take charge of your experience, set healthy boundaries, and decide whether to stay or go.

Today, Carol is interviewing a resilient woman who was raped by her husband and misguided by the church. She talks about her confusion about his actions and how they tried to find guidance with the church. She lived years in that confusion until she started to focus on herself which started the road to recovery.

Carol the Coach will be interviewing Michael Ciaccio who will be sharing the origins of The Center for Healing and their specialized program, the My House Workshop to help sex addicts and church leaders heal from sex addiction. The Center for Healing is a clinical group practice working with those struggling with attachment wounds, trauma and sexual brokenness.  The Center was founded in 2013 and has 5 clinical therapists working with clients daily.  He will share the powerful story behind the beginnings of the Center in that the church was in need of someone who could address sexual addiction, ow addressing for the Catholic and greater Christian population in general.   In 2016, Dr Todd Bowman, Fr Sean Kilcawley and myself started the My House Workshop for Men, a 3 day intensive in Kansas City.  The workshop includes experiential group work, psychoeducation and an integrated spiritual component.  There is a half day on betrayal trauma to address how this addiction has impacted the client’s spouse or partner

Sexual abuse is the secret shame that lies deep within. Men hold onto this secret shame for an average of 25 years before they disclose the hurt and pain they have endured and carried by sexual abuse perpetrated by another male. So many men and their spouses wonder how male sexual abuse has affected the survivor. Today Carol the Coach talks to Doug Carpenter who wrote a riveting book call:. The book contains over 40 reasons why men don’t tell.  The degree of shame is significant and it often causes men to have confusing feelings regarding their sexuality.  As men disclose their abuse, it is important to examine how the abuse changed their thinking and behavior. A good majority of men were abused before puberty. The research shows that men on average are abused around the age of eight or nine while in the latency stage of development. The disruption of this phase created a stirring of sexual curiosity and desire that was awakened before its time.  This early awakening has a direct effect on behavior. Boys

Carol has a new workshop that she wants you to be aware of if you are looking to heal from the sexual betrayal that occured as a result of sexual addiction.

Today Carol the Coach interviews fellow podcaster, Rhys Pasimio who is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Sex Addiction Counselor, and Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor, as well as a soon-to-be certified IFS practitioner. Rhys is in recovery  and produces the Outer Circle Inner Stillness Podcast. He believes recovery is about much more than just behavior change. It is a whole person, whole life transformation, mirroring the conversation experience in a spiritual journey. He will explain the many questions addicts have including, "How do sober people live? What do they do, think, feel and believe that sets them apart from people without addiction, and people not yet in recovery?"  His podcast, Outer Circle Inner Stillness explores answers to this question. He looks at daily practices, basic beliefs and assumptions, that set the individual on a trajectory toward their Outer Circle values, as well as things to avoid that set you on a trajectory toward middle circle chaos. The core of the show expl

In 2019, Charlen Benson, wrote the book Unstuck book. She has added a missing piece to the book and wanted our viewers to know that she has created a Study Guide which  offers thought provoking questions, easy-to-follow checklists, road-tested tips, healing exercise, insightful writing prompts, and profoundly moving prayers. She explains to Carol the Coach, "When we are ‘on the road’ in our relationship, we get along fine and are able to navigate amicably our varying interests and desires.  On the road, we are conscious, mindful, balanced, and aware.  However, when we don’t know how to balance our wants and desires with our mate, it’s like we get stuck in a ditch. Where we land depends on childhood experiences.  We either default to becoming a people pleaser Others-Focused” (OF) or insist on our own way “Me-Focused.” (MF).  Over time I discovered 21 predictable OF and MF default behaviors, though that’s not an exhaustive list. Each ditch behavior represents and extreme behavior that is a subconscious, autom