Sexual Addiction:strength/hope/recovery

Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Nathan Spiteri who is brutally honest about how sexual abuse affected his life,The episode at the swimming pool was day one of what would become a three-year relationship between an eight-year-old boy and a paedophile in his early 40s, living just streets from each other in the same small town. Nathan experienced traumatic bonding; a strong emotional attachment between a victim and their abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of violence. The sexual abuse initially continued at the swimming pool but later moved to his abuser’s home. He also experienced manipulation from a pediphile who threatened him regularly. “He told me to meet him on certain dates and times or he would kill my family,” Nathan recalls. This is a powerful and deeply vulnerable memoir where Nathan dives into the trauma of trauma bonding with a pediphile and how he not only survived but how he thrived!  

Healing trauma using somatic experiencing (SE), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Internal Family Systems (IFS). When is it addiction and when is it trauma? Many people who accept their sex addiction issues embrace that their focus must be on recovery. What if you’re in recovery and working your program, but life isn’t improving? What if old behaviors keep creeping up or your relationships are still suffering. What if relapses, near slips, and shame start to tank recovery? Sometimes your problem isn’t a lack of recovery dedication, sometimes it’s trauma. Unfortunately, when people hear the word trauma, they think of voyaging through the dark night of a soul. This can lead to fears of further relapses, fear of digging through the past, and worse, fear of yet another bad experience with a therapist who insists on treating the “T” word without knowing how. In this episode, Carol the Coach will talk with Rebecca Stokes about the treatment modalities that work best for treating trauma, an

This  talk will focus on utilizing Dan Siegel’s theoretical framework he calls “Mindsight”, and his “9 Domains of Integration”. The podcast will also introduce the great American philosopher, Ken Wilber’s “Integral or All Quadrant, All Level (AQAL) Meta-Theory. Eric will be discussing how he utilizes both of these theoretical frameworks in the screening, assessment and treatment of Chronically Problematic Sexual Behaviors.   He will briefly cover the core concepts of Mindsight and Interpersonal Neurobiology and Integral-Meta Theory. The “9 Domains of Integration” will then be presented and how they can be combined with Integral Meta-Theory to screen, assess and treat all types of Problematic Sexual Behaviors such as Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder in the form of compulsive use of ography, dating application, infidelity, cybersex and teledildonics.  Eric will explain how he utilizes the 9 Domains in conjunction with Integral Meta-Theroy  in his assessment and treatment of CSBD. He will introduce practical

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Dr. Crystal Hollenbeckwho will be idiscussing the essential part an Impact Statement plays in the therapeutic process for a couple.  Being betrayed by the person you trusted the most has a devastating impact on your whole person.  Part of the healing process for the betrayed partner is having the opportunity to share their experience instead of just letting it go and moving forward.  The Impact Statement also has significant benefits for the addict’s recovery in helping them break through denial and experience the truth about the destruction their secret life has caused.  Dr. Hollenbeck is Certified in Sex Addiction, Betrayal Trauma, Sex Therapy, EMDR and Anger Management.  She helps couples heal from the wounds of addiction and betrayal and leads them to living a healthy balanced life that includes healthy sexuality.  She has offices in Orlando and Tampa Florida and offers 3 Day Intensives.  Please see her website for a full list of services www.CrystalHollenbeck.

I am so honored to be with Heidi Kinsella who has created an amazing Five Day Intensive Equine Inspired Experience for Women Join a small group of women for an immersive healing experience set in a rural setting including equine assisted therapy, mindfulness, group therapy around the campfire, psychoeducation about betrayal trauma, and Soundbath healing to help work through the emotional and stress responses to trauma.We will be taking women throughthe three stages of healing including:1.safety and stabilization 2.working through anger, grief and mourning 3.restoration of self with posttraumatic growth. Heidi is using the concepts and exercises  from Unleashing Your Powere the book that  Carol wrote to woork through the trauma and betrayal. If you feel stuck and need a healing place to nurture yourself and refocus your sense of emposwement. this may be the experience for you!         Designed and facilitated by Heidi Kinsella, LMHC, SUDP, CSAT, CPTT, CMAT, CCPS and Carol Juergensen Sheets, LCSW, CCPS-S

Today Carol the Coach is interviewing Janice Caudill and Dan Drake who have written a series of books including a book for the Partner: Full Disclosure: Seeking Truth After Sexual Betrayal  and a book for Addict: Full Disclosure: How to Share the Truth After Sexual Betrayal. These books teach the couple how to prepare the Addict and Partner for a full therapeutice disclosre and discuss the importance of having skilled clinicians and coaches available who are partner sensitve. These companion workbooks are the gold standard for preparing for instruction on how to complete a full disclosure using a common method, common understanding, and common language toward the shared purpose of restoring the foundation of truth in the relationship. They also have developed a training program for the Full Disclosure process for therapists, coaches, religious and other professionals who often become involved in the disclosure process. If you want good information about disclosures, this is the show for you!  

Today, Carol the Coach interviews Darrel Brazell a pastor from New Hope Recovery Ministry who feels like the church has a lot of work to do to support the many problems a congregation faces in todays world. One of his missions is to connect to church leaders about sexual issues in every church. He would like to speak as a pastor to pastors, ministry leaders, and counselors about the pitfalls of not having training and experience in SA. And he believes that offering grace to a struggling man is essential but so is following up to help him actually do recovery and come clean with his wife. (With a therapeutic full disclosure facilitated by a trained professional). I He believes he can speak directly to this because even with 20+ years of experience and my own background here, he has to constantly fight with himself to not allow his deep compassion for the struggler to prevent him from also recognizing what he has done and is doing in causeing great harm to his wife. He recognizes the impossible forced choice

This will help men and women understand the basic dynamics of sex addiction

As a first-generation immigrant in this country, Sam Louies identity and those of others like his was nuanced.  He explains that Yes we are “Americans” but we are Americans with cultural and ancestral ties elsewhere.  And not just elsewhere in a vague kind of way like, “Well, I think I’m a mix of Irish and Scottish” but in a very tangible and direct link to my ethnic heritage, immigration story, along with the language, customs, and worldviews passed down through the generations.  Consequently, our identities are intertwined to the country we live in, our country of origin, those of our colonizers, or a combination of those.  But the external pressure of assimilation has been one where I’ve been asked to strip myself of my past understanding of self and prove my allegiance to this country by simplifying my identity as one of just, “American”.  The implicit mainstream message was that the pathway to citizenship, acculturation, and acceptance in this country was the adoption of patriotism to the degree that th

Bill Herring is a certified sexual addiction therapist who has maintained a private practice in Atlanta for over 30 years.  For many years Bill was a board member and conference chair of the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (“SASH”). Bill has published many professional articles, including one we will be discussing today. In 2017 he wrote a chapter for a book on the history of the sex addiction field.  That same year Bill wrote “A Framework for Categorizing Chronically Problematic Sexual Behavior”, which won Article of the Year by the publisher.  In 2019 Bill received the prestigious “Carnes Award” from the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health for his pioneering work advancing understanding of this field of study.  Just about anything you want to know about Bill can be found at billherring.com. Today, Carol the coach will be interviewing Bill, who will be talking about the framework for categorizing problematic sexual behavior that he introduced in 2017.  This framework provides a way to

Stephen Ammann is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) and a graduate of Northwest Nazarene University, Stephen provides individual, couple, and group counseling using an integrated approach. He founded Northwest Wellness Center in Nampa, where they specialize in sex and addiction, trauma treatment as well as couples’ therapy. NWC has specific intensive models that focus on addiction, trauma, and couples’ retreats. Stephen is a certified EMDR therapist and consultant. He has co-facilitating DeTUR trainings with the late Dr. AJ Popky, in the US and Canada. DeTUR is an EMDR addiction protocol addressing triggers and urges leading to unwanted behaviors. Stephen developed the EMDR protocol LIFE SCAN which looks at each of the development stages such as epigenetic trauma, utero, birth, non-verbal, and so on through the client’s life span. He uses this effective process to help clients deal with trauma, addiction, and other concerns.  

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Louise A Stanger Ed.D, LCSW,  who is going to help us understand Addiction In The Family- Helping Families Navigate Challenges, Emotions and Recovery. He explains that Covid 19 has seen an unprecedented rise in the use and misuse of alcohol, marijuana, prescription, and nonprescription drugs (opioids and stimulants) etc.  This coupled with the rise of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues along with gastrointestinal issues has created a perfect storm. Americans’ today report that they have either started or increased their substance use as a way of coping with stressors related to Covid 19. Neilson reported a 54% increase in national alcohol sales in March of 2020 for example as opposed to a year ago and online sales on alcohol increased by 262% from 2019 to today. Marijuana sales and online deliveries have also increased. The World Health Organization has warned that alcohol use will potentially exacerbate health concerns and risk-taking behaviors.

As you know, the world is filled with men who struggle to connect emotionally, leaving many women feeling disappointed in relationships. But why are some men like this? What happened that they cannot emotionally engage in a healthy way? Today, Dr. Eddie Capparucci, talks about what he believes is going on inside of men who suufer from sexual compulsivity or with men who are in recovery but havin't work out their deeper issues.The reason goes back to a lack of nurturing required in the early stages of childhood development, where kids learn to attune, regulate emotions, trust, be empathic, and self-soothe. His new book, entitled "Why Men Struggle to Love: Overcoming Relational Blind Spots"explains how men who possess low emotional IQs struggle to thrive in relationships and how they can change. It also shows how they may be prone to addictive behaviors such as sex and addictions.   Dr. Eddie Capparucci, LPC, C-CSAS, specializes in the treatment of sex/ addiction. He is the creator of the Inner Model for tr

Carl Thomas wrote a book called When Shame Gets Real: A new way to talk about sex, , and masturbation and so together we delve into why he wrote this book on  sexual shame? He believes that may things need to change in this culture and has some strong feelings that if we can can’t change the conversations about sex and sexuality in our culture, our families, and our churches we won't see things improving in regards to the epidemic of use and sexual brokenness in our society. This is the real and intimate conversation with the man, his addiction and how it impacted everyone whom he shared his life.  

Today ,Carol the Coach interviews Roane and Eva Hunter who have written a best-selling book called Sex, God, amd Chaos of Betrayal The Couples Roadmap of Hope and Healing - Recovery from Infedelity, Affairs, ography and Sexual Addiction. This couple has lived it, healed from it and now offers services to addicts and partners. They developed this roadmap to help you navigate the crisis and the pain!

Carol will be talking to a  visionary and pioneer in spiritual growth and transformation, who will be sharing life-changing experiences and insights with clarity and humor.She has developed the Blueprint for the Human Spirit®, her holistic model for conscious, compassionate living. She is uniquely qualified to talk about the Blueprint since it evolved in harmony with her transformation. She is an architect for the human spirit.These Spiritual Blueprinting sessions get to the heart of core issues and an individualized approach for you to transform your life through a holistic process. She is also a best-selling author of several books, including The Dance of Ego and Essence: Confessions of a Divine Diva. This book and its companion journal can help you to get real with yourself. Through radical honesty, you can release negative behaviors, emotional baggage, and old beliefs that keep you trapped in addiction and victimhood. She will inspire both addicts and partners to acknowledge how the tragedies that they

Today Carol the Coach, interviewed Matt Sinkovitz who is helping men work through their addiction. Matt began his studies in Buddhism and New Thought as a young adult, seeking resolution to his own personal life dilemmas. Overcoming his 20+ year compulsive relationship with , Matt was inspired to share his journey and support other men in their path to liberation.  Through his online Facebook support community, ‘ to Purpose’, Matt currently runs the ‘90-Day Liberation Boot Camp’, as well as the ‘7-Day Abstinence Challenge’.  Matt is passionate about the community’s commitment to support committed fathers and husbands in ending their toxic relationship with , so they can reignite that passion in their relationships and be better role models to their children."

It happens to everyone! Recovery stalls out and you are bored. What do you do to avoid this stage in development?  Call Carol the Coach!

Carol the Coach will be discussing her new book that is coming out called Help Them Heal to assist clients in doing the work that is necessary to help couples heal together.

Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Carley Pool who has a personal experience that she wants to share with our listening audience.The discussion will be an honest look at the personal experience of an adult child conceived as a result of a sex addiction, growing up in a time when the diagnosis and knowledge of sex addiction was almost non-exsistent. Her experience was shaped in part, because she  grew up in a religious setting and that played a role in this continuously evolving event. . Further it includes the process of healing: the intentional and unintentional strategies used that were adopted over a period of thirty years. Today, she would like to share how she might use  this unique story will  to further benefit other families that encounter sex addiction. It is truly a story of PTG.