Sexual Addiction:strength/hope/recovery

Today, Carol the Coach will be talking to Sarah who has many reasons to believe her husband is still acting out. She reached out to me for answers and I invited her to come on the show and talk about what she is facing in her marriage with a man who allegedley is doing lots of things that make her doubt his sincerity. She wants to get to the truth and is not sure how to do that. Listen to the common questions that partners have io get straight answers from their spuses.

It’s hard enough to fully enjoy mutual intimacy in our romantic relationship. When picking up the pieces after relational betrayal, these natural difficulties become even more complex. After betrayal, navigating daily tasks and wondering what the future holds can feel very uncertain and fearful for both partners and the family. Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Alex Avilia, who is going to be explaing the dynamics between the coupleship. Each person needs to feel a sense of Emotional Safety. When relational instability and loss of trust become emotionally painful, betrayed partners need to know they have something to hold onto. They can develop individual strength and resiliency and ask their addicted partner to be emotionally safe for them. The addict’s attitude and presence—along with their consistent desire to develop relational insights and skills—means everything. Only when they can provide the safety and responsiveness that the betrayed partner wanted all along will they be able to fully heal them

One of the challenges after 6-12 months of sobriety for individuals is handling their emotional life. After all, one reason why addictions start is to avoid feeling emotions to begin with.Our guest Jan M. Bergstrom, who wrote Gifts from a Challenging Childhood; Creating a Practice for Becoming Your Healthiest Self, believes that individuals have to to heal from family of origin trauma. In our show, she will help us understand how to re-parent our historical parts.

Today, I would like to interview Aaron Tempel who is an CSAT who believes attachment focused EMDR really increases the effectiveness of treatment. He is going to discuss Attachment Focused EMDR, or AF-EMDR in its use for treating individuals struggling with sexual addiction or betrayal trauma. While trained to work with partners, my experience is largely working with sexual addiction/compulsivity. EMDR has long been used in the treatment of trauma and has diversified into the treatment of various disorders, primarily with the focus on traumatic experiences. AF-EMDR has been developed by Laurel Parnell of the Parnell Institute, to focus on treatment of attachment wounds and relational traumas. I focused on AF-EMDR because sex addicts typically have experienced attachment wounding/trauma that has not been addressed, which then can lead to unwanted sexual behaviors that bring them to my office. AF-EMDR utilities Resource Tapping to connect with attachment resources, improve coping skills for distress, and can be

Today Carol the Coach will be interviewing Marie Damgaard who works at the Mindfulness Center and has completed the MBATT which is a mindfulness certification for sex addiction and partner betrayal. This segment will focus on learning about the power of mindfulness in addictions and trauma recovery.   Sex addicts will learn how to define mindfulness, and how these techniques help a variety of individuals in becoming more aligned with who they are at their core; while developing the capacity to have more choice in their day-to-day decision making. Mindfulness work has inspired optimism in recovery work and I hope that those who are listening, can be inspired to explore, learn, grow and heal with what they gather from today’s show.

Listen as Carol the Coach talks about a spiritual path that she frequently uses to guide her in her daily life.

John and Elaine Leadem, who are experts in the field of addiction, will be sharing personal information about their lives as they discuss the faces that they wore when they first married. In this riveting interview, the Leadems who wrote One in the Spirit: Meditation Course for Recovering Couples openly share their early struggles with maintaining a relationship while combating their own demons from years of addiction.  Sexual Addiction is a disorder that requires strategies to assist you in maintaining recovery. This show is to help you access the books, the experts and the people who are managing recovery with The 12 Step Program and Patrick Carnes Recovery Task Model that reinforces the steps you need to take to manage your recovery and take your life through the journey so that you not only conquer the "Addict" but develop into the person you were meant to be! Carol the Coach is a Certified Sexual Addictions Therapist who is ready to take you on the journey and expose you to the experts who will guide y

In this segment Carol the Coach  will be discussing boundaries with Jocelyn Hamsher. Boundaries are defined as a set of expectations and limits we have around our interactions with ourselves and others. They help us keep our side of the street clean and sets our relationships up for success because we are able to communicate our expectations in a healthy way. Boundaries are not about manipulating or changing anyone else, they are solely about protecting ourselves. A good way to determine areas of our life that may need boundaries is to look for pain points in our life and from there establish what we need in order to minimize the pain point. Often we struggle most with boundaries when we struggle with knowing what our wants and needs are, which is a symptom of unresolved trauma. Once we are able to identify our needs and wants, then we need to formulate boundaries to help get those met and then communicate them in a healthy way. This also includes action steps for instances where the other person chooses not

In any relationship where betrayal occurs through acting out in any harmful manner, the partners’ breakage leaves them in unbearable distress and fear for an unknown future. Defense mechanisms further create distance when trauma triggers negatively influence the reactions of both parties in the relationship. The acting out partner uses maladaptive coping skills to relieve distressing feelings learned in childhood. The betrayed partner loses trust and suffers a multitude of painful emotions. Further acting out and boundary violating behavior of the addict compounds distrust, fueling distance from the betrayed spouse. IF there is any chance for spouses; this I where CSAT and ASAT therapists enter the picture.

It is not uncommon for clients who have  sexual addiction to suffer from trauma that later causes PTSD. Dr. Jerry Borikhin from the Meadows will be talking about PTSD and how this disorder can be managed if you are suffering from these symptoms. Listen in as he shares with Carol the Coach the criteria and diagnostic elements that would tell you if you have PTSD. Sexual Addiction can be managed if you utilize a variety of resources. This radio show teaches you the recovery tasks needed to work through the shame that accompanies this compulsion. Carol the Coach has worked with 1000's of clients who have fought this disorder and learned how to manage it and live fully optimal lives. Listen to her as she shares her wisdom and interviews the experts in her field. Carol Juergensen Sheets is a certified sexual addictions counselor and was trained by Dr. Patrick Carnes who has been instrumental in developing programs and clinical skill sets that promote recovery,

Abandonment in childhood effects self esteem and often contributes to the issues of sexual addiction. Tonight I will be interviewing Mark Smith Director of Family Tree Counseling who has written an e-book called MANAGING ABANDONMENT ISSUES THROUGH RECOVERY. He will discuss what you can do to resolve and reprocess the aftershock of abandonment and what you can do if your abandonment issues are feeding your addiction. Sexual Addiction is a disorder that requires strategies to assist you in maintaining recovery. This show is to help you access the books, the experts and the people who are managing recovery with The 12 Step Program and Patrick Carnes Recovery Task Model that reinforces the steps you need to take to manage your recovery and take your life through the journey so that you not only conquer the "Addict" but develop into the person you were meant to be! Carol the Coach is a Certified Sexual Addictions Therapist who is ready to take you on the journey and expose you to the experts who will guide you t

As a Sex Addict, can you love yourself despite the fact that you have an addiction. Today, Carol the Coach will be interviewing Jace Downey who looks at sex addiction with an unusual perspective about the reason for your addiction. Jace explains that with addiction reaching epidemic levels, we are seeing a revolution in the recovery sphere, a whole-person holistic approach to healing. Yet, we risk the unnecessary suffering of countless people if we set the foundation wrong. In her work with people recovering from sex addiction, Jace Downey, founder of You Got This! Recovery discovered a core theme across all demographics - the belief that we are not enough to be loved, just as we are. This intrinsic, inescapable need for acceptance, connection, for love is at the root of addiction as well as the solution for it. How can we expect to eradicate addiction in a system that reenforces the very beliefs that cause it?   Jace and her clients have experienced freedom from addiction through a radical twist to the rec

Being betrayed by someone you trusted is beyond painful! It’s a tsunami of emotions that are terrifying and out of our control. And those close to us may misguide us, well-intentioned as they might be. So it’s critical to have some professional guidance to help us ride the waves in a healthy way. You didn’t ask for it, and it might feel really unfair to be called upon to do the work to heal, but your healing is paramount for your own well-being. It will also allow you to rebuild trust within yourself, which can often get shattered, especially when our feelings become unmanageable. Today, Carol will be interviwing Rebecca Rosenblat PhD,who specializes in sex addiction and  partner betrayal. Her background is in understanding how loving an addict can cause trauma.

Are you someone who constantly struggles with  someone who is too clingy or too detached. Often times in sexual addiction, there is one partner who tends to be love avoidant and one partner who is love addicted. This can be a frustrating issue for each partner which invariably keeps each person from getting their needs met.Ben Galloway has worked in the field of Addiction and Trauma Treatmen since 1989. Ben is the owner and director of Enchantment Workshops and agency that customizes intensives and workshops for individual's couples and families who suffer from the effects of Trauma and Addiction. He is going to be helping us to understand how relationships are formed and how co-dependency can result from unhealthy relationships where trauma has occured. He will be giving concrete tools that promote recovery and improve and restore healthy relationships.

Your sexual addiction has devestated her. Her self esteem has been devestated and she does not know how to compensate for what she thinks that you need.Professionals see the daily devestateion but don't know how to help and today Rochelle has developed a course to reignitght that sense of appeal. Her topic is a new program that she is offering called Your Big Sexy Comeback for women who are moving on after betrayal and ready to (maybe) explore what dating, love, sex and intimacy mean for them now.  These are women who have done a lot of healing and are ready to really start experiencing what it means to thrive. Even if you question if you are ready, know that you deserve to have that energy back!

In this podcast, Carol the Coach and Dr. Jill Manning discuss the power of affirmations and how to effectively utilize affirmations in relational trauma healing work. Affirmations can sometimes be dismissed as simply "happy thoughts" or "nice statements," but when affirmations are truly understood and practiced, they can powerfully interrupt shaming or distorted thinking patterns and nurture physical, emotional, and relational health. Practical resources, ideas, and research-based information will be shared throughout this engaging discussion.

We are all products of the messages we receive in our lives. None of these messages are as powerful as those we receive in childhood. Tom Gagliano focuses on the messages given to us in childhood, verbal and non-verbal, and how they impact the roles one grows up to play and the ways these roles affect one’s intimate relationships. He discusses the steps to identify the roles one plays in order to grow as a person will be outlined, as well as the ‘People Pleaser’ and ‘Caretaker’ roles. The challenges associated with these roles, as well as ways to overcome these challenges, will be discussed.

Sex Addiction can appear so entitled. That is the very nature of addiction and so entitlement and self absorbtion keeps the addict alive. Listen as Carol the Coach explores the fundamental maladaptivecoping style that keeps addiction alive.

Sex addiction is an illness where the addict uses sex to self-medicate, to cope with overwhelming emotions. It’s about disconnection, not finding a more attractive partner. But often, partners fear just that, as the movie plays in their heads with more attractive partners acting in more sensual ways, which can make them feel unattractive and disconnected from their own sexuality. It’s hard enough as is, with the images that media projects as sexy, since the reality is that sexiness isn’t about what we look like, it’s about the attitude we have towards how we look – something that can fail us when our mindset is preoccupied with erroneous fears. This episode will focus on getting your groove back, and reclaiming your sensuality, versus giving the addiction the power to define it. As a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Rebecca Rosenblat is sensitive to the struggles of a partner. As a Clinical Sexologist, she’s aware of sexual challenges, including how we feel about ourselves. Rebecca will combine those two as

Today, Carol the Coach is interviewing Laney Knowlton who has worked in the field of sex addiction for over a decade years. She has  developed a model for couples called Coupled Recovery. It uses similarities between the trauma cycle and the addiction cycle to create a common language for addicts and partners, creating a foundation for connection throughout recovery, which starts with emotional safety. This approach is meant to be used in conjunction with individual recovery work. Current models in the field tend to focus on either the addict or the partner. The differences between approaches can make it difficult for partners to see if addicts are working towards recovery, understand the work they are doing, and feel safe in recovery. At the same time, the work that partners do to heal themselves and the relationship is not seen and understood by the addict, and sometimes even left out of the recovery process, making it much more difficult for partners to heal.