Sexual Addiction:strength/hope/recovery

There are alot of theories as to how sex addiction evolves in the lives of men and women. Tonight Carol the Coach interviews Eddie Capparucci who specializes in treating sexual addictions and ography addictions. He works with men who struggle with the addiction by challenging them understand "why" they feel, think and behave the way they do. Together, they embark on a journey of transformation that goes far beyond simply removing the addictive behavior and leads to transformation of the "NEW" guy.    

Like other addictions, sexual addiction, or hypersexuality, can be masking deeper issues such as anxiety, stress and depression. How we feel after a sexual experience is usually a good barometer for our intention leading up to it. Do we feel more connected or do we feel less connected, that hollow feeling that can ensue?  Carol the Coach will be interviewing Murray Hidary who is a multi-diciplanary expert at helping people shift their ability to take responsibility and action for their lives.  He has developed a tool he refers to as the MindTravel method which brings radical responsibility to any situation. Viewing an issue through the lens of radical responsibility involves bringing awareness to the behavior and its impacts on our lives and the lives of others, full acceptance of these realizations and then taking intentional action to remedy and move forward in a healthy way. Awareness. Acceptance. Action.  The relationship with our sexuality is an ongoing journey as it is relational, in dynamic response

Empathy can be inherited but typically it is learned and tonight Carol talks about how to increase empathy through the use of Emotional Maturity Skills.

Carol the Coach is speaking with Jay Stringer who is a licensed mental health counselor and author of the award-winning book Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. Unwanted is based on a multiyear research project on over 3,800 men and women to address the key drivers of unwanted sexual behavior, be that the use of ography, infidelity, or buying sex. Men and women  wiith compulsive problematic sexual behavior feel this book speaks to the childhood trauma that predesposes sex addiction. Jay's passion is to equip individuals and organizations with resources they need to outgrow their unwanted behaviors. He holds an MDiv and master in counseling psychology from the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and received post-graduate training under Dr. Dan Allender while serving as a Senior Fellow at the Allender Center.

There are lots of issues  for men about masculinity and comparison. Today, Carol the Coach is talking with Masculinity Expert Dr. Doug Carpenter, who has identified the term "Non-AlphaMale which he will be explaining on todays's show. The social perception of masculinity is very black and white: one is either an Alpha Male or a Beta Male, and there can be no variation. However, this is not the reality of masculinity in today's society. Non-Alpha Males exist somewhere in the middle of the masculinity spectrum and are far more common than most people realize. Non-Alpha Males are prone to developmental and behavioral issues caused by gender role conflict, toxic shame, and complex trauma. These, as well as the role of parenting, attachment and abuse issues, gender constructs and socialization, and the resulting addiction, sexual issues, and self-loathing, are explored in Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male. Dr. Carpenter's book, Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha- Gender Role Conflict, Toxic Shame, and Compl

Sex Addicts can be inandated with resentments that have fueled their sex addiction. 12 Step programs like SA or SAA typically address resentments during the 4th step of recovery. Tonight, Carol will be interviewing Andre who has actively worked his program and wants others to know why it is important to manage them as they come up in your relationships.

Tonight, Carol will be interviewing Nick Stumbo, who has his own personal story of  hope and healing from Sexual Addiction. He believes that men and women need to find support, understanding and grace from thier church.  He is going to talk about the fundamental principles of healthy sexuality and freedom within the church climate. He uses Pure Desire Ministries to help people find fellowship and sobriety.

When people experience abandonment, they are much more likely to develop addictions that numb the pain. Carol the Coach replays this show to help you understand how this creates an issue with attachment that feeds into your addiction.

What does a partner's healing look like after the initial crisis subsides? What is needed when she is past the initial shock?  Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews Lyschel Burket, who knows both personally and professionally.   After years of working with women who have navigated betrayal in their marriage and her own healing journey,  Lyschel is familiar with the question "what's next?" So many women are still not sure how to move through the betrayal or what kind of help to seek out. Well meaning but uninformed support professionals are not giving women the encouragement to find good support for themselves and this is leaving women at a deficit with their own pain and trauma.  Oftentimes Lyschel meets with women who have known about the infidelity and betrayal for years but have never stepped to explore what kind of support is out there for them. They have been sitting in a holding pattern waiting for their husband to get well in hopes that this would help them get well too. In reality they still feel stuc

Clint Davis wants to be able to talk about the balanced approach to therapy that he believes is imperative to creating real change in sex addicts. His treatment modalities include  massage therapy, chiropractic care, a dietary modifications, to engage the client in looking at all aspects of his life. He explains, "We believe that working from a trauma informed model can help people make lasting change not just to their behavior but in their hearts. We are a Christian organization so we integrate faith and scripture if our clients ask for that while at the same time respecting others views and beliefs." Tonight, he will talk about the the ACE Scale and sexual neglect being a huge issue and core reason sex addiction happens. He will speak about technology, age gaps, and the negative effects of social media and its links and difficulties when recovering from sex addiction or betrayal trauma.

Arrest is one of the most terrifying moment of your life.  Family members may be shocked, numb, or in denial.  It is  difficult to come to terms with and when the arrest is for a sexual crime, there is additional shame and stigma.  This experience can lead us to isolation and loneliness. Prison CONversation was created to deal with the shame and isolation of criminal charges and imprisoment. Tonight Carol the Coach interviews Jim Prager who created this program to provide information to help people process what is going on and what needs to happen next as attorneys are ill equiped to deal with the emotional trauma, the individual and the family is going to experience.

Carol the Coach is interviewing Rebecca Maestas, LMSW, CCPS-c who uses a Couple Centered Recovery Model with her "2 Connect " groups. She has developed two groups that provide a Help. Her. Heal foundation including having the partners attend sessions at the end of the group for relational repair. The partners can seperately atttend a group to promote their healing and prepare them for the 2 Connect Group. She also offers a "2 Freedom" group focuses on faith based mindfulness, self-compassion and shame resiliency to increase empathy for the partner.

Boundaries in Sex Addiction Recovery are essential to preventing relapse. Dr. Crystal Hollenbeck is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, an APSATS Certified Clinical Partner Specialist, and a Certified EMDR Therapist. She is going to define what boundaries are and the important role they play in Sex Addiction Recovery for the addict. She will discuss 15 Boundaries that every man in Sex Addiction Recovery should establish and maintain.

Tonight, Carol the Carol, will be interviewing Judy Kelly, who is a CSAT, and has found it extremely helpful to use the Help. Her. Heal. book to assist addicts in helping their partners heal. She has made the techniques her own and has the  men do additional activities to reinforce the need for on-going partner sensitive activites and shame resilience.  She even has added a 5th type of communication  style that she feels helps the addict stay strong and keeps them out of the shame spiral which ultimately helps the couple heal. 

  Carol will be speaking with Tim Kiernon who will be speaking about the importance of intensive treatment of sexual addiction and compulsivity for both the addict and the spouse/ partner. It is widely known that the more treatment the addict receives, the higher likelihood of sustained recovery. Tim runs A Better Lifetime Center for Hope and Healing. The Center is beginning a hybrid therapy and coaching program in December that will offer the person struggling with problematic sexual behaviors.  His focus is  not only on the problem but also on strategies for becoming and remaining sexually abstinent while finding rand pursuing good ecovery.

Tonight Carol the Coach interviews Patrick Hentsch who developed the Holistic Recovery Model which addresses the fact that living in recovery must mean much more than being abstinent (not doing certain behaviors) or being sober (having clear thoughts andemotions). It is about how we respond to our clear thoughts and emotions and allow them to guide us towards our authentic and integrated existence. It looks at the unified underlying cause that drives the great diversity of addictions with their correspondingly varied behaviors: the inability or unwillingness to fully embrace the rawness of being alive.  Patrick explains that it distinguishes between mood-alteration, self-medication, and addiction, and clarifies their functions in relation to holistic recovery. Listen to this fascinating model and how you might use it in your life.  

Tonight, Carol the Coach, will Debra L. Kaplan who is an expert on sex, money, and power in relationships. Debra is a CSAT who also had a history of working on Wall Street. It is no surprise that she sees many couples who have had sex addiction and still battle being in a controlling relationhip that results in feeling exploitive. Battle of the Titans is a book about power and how to masterfully balance the complex forces of sex, money and power in relationships. Power differentials are a constant across all realms and studies have shown that conflicts about money are the greatest predictor for divorce or relationship dissolution. Battle of the Titans delves deep into power dynamics of a relationship and provides tools for couples to establish sexual and financial balance in relationships.

Happy Labor Day! This is a repeat of a 1012 show on abandonment.

Tonight, Carol the Coach interviews Steve Devlin, EdM. PhD, who explains that most of his professional career (1984-2007) was spent as a university-based researcher examining trends in aging, higher education, and deinstitutionalization.  By all measures his career was on a successful path.  Yet, throughout most of his adult life, he was accompanied by an addictive personality.  In July 2007 he hit bottom and began his recovery journey.  He reports that on Sunday, August 30 he will mark 4,800 one-days-at-a-time of sobriety from all emotional, physical, and spiritual bottom lines. Rebuilding these three areas has become the foundation of his sobriety and serves as the focus of his work since 2009 as a recovery coach and an advocate for people with addictions. His goal with all clients is to help them find hope and new meaning to life. He is heavily influenced by the work of Victor Frankl.  Listen as Carol the Coach finds out what Steve's secret is to recovery and how you might utilize his recovery principles

Sometimes, couples seem to be at an impasse as to how to heal from sexual betrayal. Tonight, Carol the Coach will talk to Allana Pratt, Intimacy Coach about the work that she advocates to get couples to move beyond the anger by raising their vibrational energy to increase their sense of intimacy and compassion.