Premature Evaluators

We decided it was time to end the embargo against the Lost Episodes. You guys have earned it! Travel back in time with us to Christmas, 2015! Enjoy!! And Merry Christmas, every douche.

In today’s very special episode we discuss love and relationships and all that Valentines-esque stuff. Also superpowers and robot angel demon kids. We made this episode especially for you! Happy Valentines! Will you be ours? You already are. Movie Reviews: Perfect Match DIRECTED BY Bille Woodruff SCREENWRITER Dana Verde Gary Hardwick Brandon Broussard CAST Terrence … Continue reading S2E4: Podcast Shaming: Perfect Catch | Midnight Special →

Welcome to Episode 3! Where movies meet March and March meets drunk and disorderly! With the unfortunate theme of March Movie Madness we don’t figure it’ll take you too long to guess what this episode covers. But we do it with surprising style! THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR DIRECTED BY Johannes Roberts SCREENWRITER Johannes Roberts Ernest … Continue reading S2:E3 March Movie Madness: The Other Side of the Door | The Brothers Grimsby | 10 Cloverfield Lane →

Episode 2, as promised and on time! One day that won’t be a running joke because every episode will be on time. This month is not that month apparently….. But Season 2 is strong with the Punctualness thus far! Let us have faith! We really hope you guys are loving the new format and production … Continue reading S2:E2 March has Fallen: Desierto, London has Fallen, →

Welcome to the first episode in 2016! We promise that it will be better than the first episode in 2015… If you haven’t heard it, rewind in time and take a listen.   On today’s episode we review Deadpool, The Choice and The Pack. You’re excited about at least two of them. We’ll tell you … Continue reading S2:E1 February 2k16 Coming Soon: Deadpool, The Choice, The Pack →

Remember back in the day when it was a man’s world? No longer! Today’s world is equal opportunity! No longer does it require iron will, perseverance, courage and determination be accompanied by a penis! No, now our female equals can do some day-saving! And we can kick back, have a beer and enjoy progress! On today’s … Continue reading S1:E24 Feminism- Mad Men Style: Jupiter Ascending | Tomorrowland | Insurgent →

Sometimes you want to watch movies. Sometimes you want to play video games. And then, occasionally, you want to watch a movie about a game that you used to play. I mean, maybe that happened once… because after that once you learned what we’ve all learned over the years: they suck. Movie Reviews: Angry Birds … Continue reading S1:E23 Angry Cast: Angry Birds | Doom | Postal →

Let’s face it America: We is a zombie nation. We loves us some zombies. All of the movies are about zombies. All of the books are about zombies. There are even zombie cereals. Zombie politicians. Zombie porn stars… there’s no end to the zombie craze! Hopefully it’s just a zombie fad. But, if so, this … Continue reading S1:E22 The Listening Dead: Extinction | Pride and Prejudice and Zombies | Maggie →

Who cares about racing? We do! Well… sort of. We care about these movies about racing. Well… we care about the reviews that we’re doing about these movies about racing. And that means that you should too! Need for Speed was one of the most highly anticipated movies of the decade and we’re super happy … Continue reading S1:E21 Feed the Need: Need for Speed | Rush | →

We believe the children are our future. And as such we’ve dedicated this episode to them and the movies Hollywood has so graciously laid at their tiny feet. Sure… they’re probably getting a little short-changed compared to our childhood movies. But it’s all that they know. Probably all that they deserve too. Movie Reviews: Pan … Continue reading S1:E20 Childish: Pan | Underdog Kids | Descendants →

It's important to recognize that in today's economy Hollywood is having to tighten its belt just like the rest of us. Today we'll be talking about independent or low-budget films. There's not a whole lot of description needed here. I mean, maybe there is... but I'm not going to type all of that. No one is really paying me... so.... #LowBudgetPodcastingProblems

    When we reached out to Samuel and told him we were going to focus this episode on him he was ecstatic! We’ve never heard such angry joy before. We are pretty convinced that you will be jumping for joy by the end of this podcast as well. Press play, sit back, and feel … Continue reading S1:E18 Samuel L Jackson: Kite | Reasonable Doubt | The Samaritan →

These ain’t your daddy’s spy movies! Well, unless your dad is Tom Cruise. Not saying that’s impossible… just… unlikely. Unless you’re one of his star children. We really think you guys are going to love this episode. Not because it’s awesome and you’ve loved every episode before… which is true… but because we put a … Continue reading S1:E17 Moderation Impossible: Hitman Agent 47 | Mission Impossible | Man from UNCLE →

So we heard Halloween is coming. In typical fashion, we decided to do an episode on “horror” movies. In atypical fashion, we’re doing it early. We’ll like do another as October 31st approaches. But just in case we decide otherwise later… here’s this. Movie Reviews: Demonic   The Visit   Poltergeists Avery, Eli, Stuart

So something odd happened… We’ve done another Batman v Superman review. Yea, doesn’t seem that odd given that we’ve talked about this movie at least once a week for the past month. But Eli wasn’t able to make this recording. So it’s just Stuart and Avery. Which means basically we’ll do whatever nerdy thing we … Continue reading S1:E15 Mice Will Play | Batman V Superman, Suicide Squad →

Welcome to nerdgasm! We initially planned this podcast around discussing all of the upcoming Marvel and DC movies. We then realized that we’d essentially done that throughout the infancy of our podcast. No, we don’t nerd out every week… but for a solid month we probably talked about Batman V Superman every week. And groaned … Continue reading S1:E14 DC VS MARVEL Movies →

 Welcome to podcast porn! Well, if by porn you mean ridiculously crappy sexy movies. Yea, I guess that’s porn. WARNING: This episode has been flagged by Families for America for excessive naughtiness. Proceed with caution. Also, Stu is still nailing it with the tag lines. Call him at his personal number to offer him encouragement. We … Continue reading S1:E13 Too Sexy for this Podcast →

It’s Episode 12! YOU ARE NOT READY! Actually, it’s us that were not ready… as you probably noticed, this episode release is a tad bit late. That’s because of Avery. He up and thought he had more important things to do than to serve our listeners. Tar and feather him! But be gentle. He has … Continue reading S1:E12 From Books to Movies to Crap →

It’s finally here… SEASON ONE: EPISODE ELEVEN! NICOLAS CAGE! We haven’t been this excited about an episode since… the last one. This episode has 439% more Nicolas Cage than any other episode ever! Even still, we’re not sure if we’ve done him enough justice. He is our protector. Our hero. Our entrainment. Our joy. Peace. … Continue reading S1:E11 NICOLAS CAGE MARATHON →

Welcome to the pivotal #10! This changes everything! Season 1: Episode 10 goes where no podcast has ever gone before! Ok… none of that is true.  I mean, it is episode 10. That’s true. But otherwise it’s a pretty mediocre walk through awesomeness. Let’s be real, we’ve never done anything less than awesome. Movie Reviews: … Continue reading S1:E10 A Movie By Any Other Name →