Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

1– It may be bad but he’ll make it worse.2- Damn that Helen Keller.3- My racism isn’t racist.4- Skinhead resume.5- Thank you, Dr. Phil.6- Yoga is out to get you.7- Unreal speed, Kenya, I salute you.

1- Do you know a law?2- Your home is my home, so I’ll shoot you.3- Serena is right. Game, set, and match.4- Sacrifice everything. Yes, he did.5- My Nikes will be wearing Nikes.

1- “Don’t monkey this up.” You just did.2- Not qualified at all. Welcome to the administration!3- The accountant is ready to talk.4- Leave my wife out of it, even though I said she did it.5- Mass shooting again...6- Cop found… guilty?7- Hey, officers, there’s money in killin' them negroes.8- Mollie Tibbetts and Nia Wilson both matter.9- Aretha Franklin, Neil Simon, and John McCain. We miss you all.10- Tiger loses off the course again11- Serena, you are a super hero. Wear what you want.

1- Thanks, Florida.2- Unhinged... I got tapes.3- Truth is Not Truth. Thats true.4- Master race? You can’t get into Master Bedroom5- Stephen Miller is a verified hypocrite6- Those priests are still at it. Now where are the good Catholics?7- Don’t see Billionaires Club. Go see BlackkKlansman8- Tiger is back9- Midseason form: Go Raiders

1 – Armando Frank was killed on YouTube. No indictment necessary.2 – LeBron opened a school. People got mad. What The Fuck?!3 – Don’t count your chickens, or Ostrich as the case may be.4 – Wilbur Ross is pulling a Madoff5 – Trump tweets beyond… oh screw it, he’s at it again.6 – I lost my invisible plane again. Damn Where did I park it?7 – Q Anon is coming or maybe… it's here.8 – Nia Wilson. Say Her Name.9 – The NRA is crying snowflake tears.10 – The only thing worse than being called a racist is being a stupid racist.

1- He would, or he wouldn’t, would he, wouldn’t he?2- Treason? Nah, just Obama.3- Jesus was ‘Merican.4- I met James Comey. He’s tall.5- Standing ground… again.6- Sorry To Bother You

1- Mr. Putin, your pet is at it again.2- Oh great, now hate crimes come in all colors.3- Here comes da judge.4- A prosecutor who should be prosecuted5- Rich famous, and now self-made.6- Really self-made mayor of S.F..7- There are 64 million reasons to teach your kid soccer.

1. This decision makes sense. Just ask God.2. Benefits! Get your free benefits here!3. You will be sentenced to 30 years.4. Horrible women5. Permit Patty, Mike Huckabee, and other non-racist racists.6. Life in the poor lane7. Tweet of the Week

1- I was wrong. Don’t arrest me. 2- Horrible people, I’m noticing a pattern. 3- Locking up kids. 4- Control costs more than money. 5- Take some R&R and get laid black

1- Hello, Officer, there's an NFL playing burglar outside.2- If Canada is angry, it's you, not Canada.3- Will they or won't they? Only Singapore knows.4 - Piece of cake as long as it's not gay cake.5- Welcome, champions. Well not you, or you, or those guys.6- Tweet of the week

1- America First, whether we like it or not.2- New police tactics seem to match old police tactics.3- M.A.G.A. with no jobs or hospitals or housing or…4- NFL: No Fans League5- I’ll be damned, Rachel, someone did buy the book.6- Go! Knights! Go!7- Stacy Abrams for Governor

1- Stop calling cops. 2- I’ll be at the cookout. 3- Doing everything at the police station. 4- Gas is going up. Where’s that coal powered car? 5- Iran, Jerusalem, confusion, war. 6- I’ll bet on that. 7- Georgia on my mind. 8- The Miserable States of America

1- Bad comes in 3s2- Moving: now where’d you put that?3- James Shaw is a HERO.4- 80,000 good guys with guns can't match one black hero.5- Speaking of heroes... Michelle Wolf is mine.6- Goodbye, Bill.7- We told you he’s an idiot.8- I’m just hanging around Starbucks.

1- Moving blues2- The What House?3- The new normal4- Wah wah. I want my hate treated fairly.5- Fox News would not like M.L.K.6- M.L.K. would not like 20187- Baseball snow days

1- March For Our Lives2- Why is Rick talking?!3- You look like my daughter.4- Thou Shalt Not-- Ahhh, go ahead.5- Yes, we forgave Bill. He rebalanced the budget.6- Trump Friends7- Naomi Wadler's life matters.8- Play Ball!

1- So while I was porn-- I mean, Storm surfing...2- Too big to fail? Let's get smaller.3- Make my wall a fence.4- There's got to be a lazy one around here somewhere.5- We will return after March Madness. Hey, who broke my bracket?

1 – The Oscars.2 – We’re shooting. Not a movie, a school.3 – In God we trust. We also trust the AR-15.4 – Life is sacred. Well, for the baby Mom, not so much.5 – Coal + Steel = jobs in 19516 – Fake Science, Fake experiment, Fake whatever you got.7 – Trade you a Mexican for Somali.8 – My chair cost more than your chair.9 – Marry me baby, no really marry me, while you’re still a baby.

1- Yeah, there’s money in it. Grow Up. 2- I’m paid to talk about not paying college athletes. 3- The pros get it. 4- I love Olympians. 5- I gotta learn to Curl. 6- Kudos, Ms. Vonn. 7- Hey, Fox News, it's called freedom of speech, shut up and dribble that! 8- Dwyane Wade just dropped the mic on that issue. 9- Lauren Gibbs takes the high road and does the Olympic ideal proud. 10- James Wallace Jr., call me Bubba. Not here because of race. He’s here to race.

1- Unplugged and I like it.2- Little said, Nothing done.3- School shooting again.4- "Backpacks! Got those bulletproof backpacks here!"5- I’m not sure who’s insane: him or US.6- I’m going to Wakanda.7- Black Panther All Star Game.

1- Dial Up News.2- State of the Union.3- Obama, would you stop it?4- Today, I’m a Philly fan.5 - Dry land is in my future.