What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

Trust is the foundation a healthy relationship builds on because it creates a sense of safety between partners. Trust is when both people can be open and vulnerable especially in uncertainty. Trust is a big deal that requires some skills that we will learn more about today. Trust leads to individuals feeling seen, heard, and valued for who they truly are. Trust builds resilience that can withstand all the challenges life throws at us.

Today we are going to deal with that voice in all of our heads- the one that judges, doubts, second-guesses, and compares. It tells us we’re not doing enough, we’re not good enough, or we’re not parenting the right way. That voice, often called the inner critic, is oh so relentless. Even casual external criticism, easily fuels this voice that lives in our heads 24/7.

If you’ve been feeling a bit disconnected, imbalanced, or just unsure of how to get back in sync with your partner—this episode is for you. Let’s explore how to make “Team Us” not just a nice idea, but a reality you live in your relationship. Whether you’ve been together for 3 years or fifty, keeping your relationship on the same page takes more than love—it takes intention, collaboration, and the ongoing decision to show up as a team.

Today we’re talking about the family stories that don’t always get told—Family estrangement is one of those deeply personal experiences that often lives in the shadows—unspoken, misunderstood, and emotionally charged. While we may see stories of reconciliation in movies or TV shows, real life is far messier. People are walking around carrying the weight of broken ties with parents, siblings, or even their own children—and many of them feel very isolated in that pain & shame.

Real connecting with another person requires attention. In a world with so much going on, we often end up easily distracted by our fears & negative thoughts. We too quickly rise to defensiveness which builds a wall, instead of being open to understanding the differences we have with somebody else. Just because we love somebody doesn’t meant mean we pay enough attention in the moment.

Divorce doesn't have to be a battlefield. In this episode, we explore the growing popularity of divorce mediation: why so many couples are turning to it, what it can save you emotionally and financially, and when it might backfire. From power imbalances to hidden agendas, we’ll unpack the pros and cons of sitting down at the table instead of standing before a judge. This conversation pulls back the curtain on what works—and what doesn’t—when love ends and legal agreements begin.

So it’s been decades of doing life together—raising kids, building careers, caring for aging parents—it’s no wonder your relationship might feel like it’s been on autopilot. Beneath the surface of routine and responsibility, there's still something worthwhile waiting to be rediscovered. Today, we’re talking about how to breathe life back into a long-term relationship and create a second marriage with the same person—one that’s deeper, more emotionally connected, and aligned with who you are now.

Investing in your own love story is one of the most empowering decisions you can make. It means choosing to be intentional about how you love and how you show up in that love. When you prioritize your own relationship, you’re not just hoping for a fairy tale ending—you’re becoming the author, editor, and leading character. This shift from passive participation to active creation is what sets apart relationships that grow & thrive

Resentments are part of all long-term relationships because there are two imperfect people rubbing shoulders day in and day out. Inevitably feelings get hurt & needs are not going to be met. We’re not trained on how to handle that well, so we do it poorly. We either stuff it or are passive aggressive, then we wall ourselves & nothing else goes well.

 There have been a lot of experiments on my path to becoming a therapist over the last 40 years. And I am celebrating a decade of podcasting in April of 2025. Making uncertainty bearable in order to take risks, experimenting with choices and exploring is the best path to find your best life. My podcast isn't about changing the essence of who you are. It's about becoming more whole, adding to your abilities not subtracting them

Today we tackle one of the most painful and challenging experiences anyone can face in a relationship—infidelity. If you've found yourself navigating the emotional turmoil that comes with betrayal, you're not alone. Infidelity shakes up the very foundation of trust & turns the world upside down. We’ll dive into the complexities of infidelity and how to start the process of recovery, whether you’re the one betrayed or the one who broke the trust.

We're diving into one of the most challenging yet crucial aspects of any relationship, managing money. If you are sharing finances with someone, financial struggles are bound to come up at some point. Money touches almost every part of our lives. And when couples aren't on the same page about how to manage it, stress can quickly build.

Couples never fighting, means at least one person is catering too much by swallowing their disagreement, which makes things so not interesting. So it may have the appearance of constant joy, but underneath, unspoken resentments are piling up because pretending the differences are not there doesn't work over the long haul. Listen & learn how to make conflict be respectful and not destructive. 

Growth in love requires openness to change, the willingness to challenge old patterns, and the courage to embrace transformation in the pursuit of something greater. It is the conscious effort to evolve together that truly sustains a relationship. Relationships flourish when both partners take accountability seriously.

Trust is basic to the infrastructure of every relationship. Trust goes beyond simple honesty. Trust opens the doors to vulnerability & deeper intimacy. Trust means we are able to share our deepest fears, dreams & our true selves which leads to stronger connections that stand the test of time.

Dating can be exhausting. Meeting people & dating is a messy business. We humans desire connection so let’s improve your odds for success with online dating. Dating can be confusing with so many choices, the search for a partner can feel like an endless series of trial & error. It can leave you wondering if the right person will ever show up!

Only  38% of Americans say they have a secure attachment style. This episode will explore all the ways our insecurities contribute to our struggles with having healthy relationships. Our insecurities contaminate our relationships and any ability to see things clearly. Our insecurities make us want to leap into the arms of any nearby rescuer/prince to fix our unhappiness. Our insecurities twist us into pretzels of doubt. It is a mindset that creates obstacles to secure attachment.

Learning how to be better connected to yourself and others is the key to everything you want. There is nothing more important than relationships and they can be very bewildering. We are often mystified and confused trying to understand ourselves. We find it hard to forgive or even give others the benefit of the doubt in these polarized times. Our disconnections are too plentiful and the easiest thing to do.

Listen if you are wondering how to determine how much is too much codependency or suspect you are codependent then you may have neglected too many important parts of your own life. Like a juggler in the circus you need to be aware of your own needs not just your partners and sense when you’ve begun to lose track of yourself.

We delve into the experiences of the LGBTQ+ community, focusing on the common challenges faced and the innovative solutions that are paving the way for a brighter future. Whether you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, an ally, or someone looking to deepen your understanding, this episode promises to offer valuable insights and actionable advice.