Alonzo Bodden: Who's Paying Attention?

1- This avoiding the constitution is hard2- Bernie is 1st. No one cares.3- Klobuchar is 3rd. Everyone cares.4- Racist calls racist a racist5- I don’t need a salary. I will need some benefits.6- I cannot take treatment without Dear Leader7- I graduated from Reagan National U, if I can find it8- Thank you, Tiger, for making us humans feel better.

1- Why watch? I knew he was lying.2- Iowa app down. Now let’s shut down the caucus.3- I’ll be damned. Mayor Pete is Gay.4- Yes, the halftime show was hot. Get over it.5- Respect Kobe. Be a dad.6- Black History Month. Try us. You’ll like us.

1- Goodbye, Kobe.2. More Impeachment BS

1- I screwed up, it's ep 2642- Happy? I’m not sure...3- It's not WW3, it is stupid ass dick wavin.4- There's nothing the cult won’t forgive5- Yeah, Harvey, it's time.6- Comedy is just fine7- Wanted: Heiress. You never see that ad.8- Elizabeth Warren won the VIEW

1 - Happy Impeachment Day. 2 counts of GUILTY.2 - What else ya need?3 - My jokes stopped at treason but now I’m back.4 - It's called charity, not a tax write off. Just give, assholes.5 - He shot the horses6 - She doesn’t need exercise

1– African American History Museum. Go learn something. I did.2– I support Gabrielle Union and Jay Leno.3– History will show that we really screwed up.4– He said they wouldn’t laugh. They’re laughing.5– Power of the presidency6– Kamala Harris out. Who’s in?7– DO NOT BUY HER A PELETON

1– Impeachment daily wrap up2– Republican witnesses can't pretend they didn’t see this3– FOX news needs a black or brown criminal quick4– Wanted: Incompetent, hateful, liars. Please send resume to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.5– The earth is flat. Science is dead.6– NBA, FORMULA 1, and other sports

1- Don’t like results? You must be Republican.2- Socialist, Progressive, Corporate... I don’t care. Just win, baby.3- Let's see some Obama balloons4- Polarization, yeah, Fact vs Fiction5- Yeah the cities win

1- Even when good, he’s bad2- Lock him up3- Deficit? Nothing to see here. Well, actually 1 trillion things to see here.4- Jesus needed a soundtrack5- We are on fire. That is not good.6- We are inclusive in our racial ignorance7- Survey says: Thanks!

1- Trump Free Zone. Nope. 2- Can’t we just combine them and build one? 3- I like Bill 4- Don’t give up, even when there's reason to give up. 5- Like father like son. Trump Jr. a.k.a. Son of Dumb Ass

1– He’s unhinged2– My great and unmatched wisdom does not exist3– Guilty 10 years4– Dog lives matter5– It should pay to go to college6– Rich assholes now have a syndrome. They’ve earned it.

1– We got the JAZZ2– Who built this house?3– Treason: plain and simple4– Start the impeachment, please.5– If they or them say so, they are.6– Once you bite a camel's balls…

1- Well I’ll be damned... Kavanaugh is a slimeball. 2- “Stay Pending Appeal” needs to stay out of Supreme court 3- When will we question the liar? 4- US to Kuwait by way of Scotland? Let's try that in WAZE. 5- Debate Debate Debate 6- 14 days = 5 years 7- Play ball and please stay out of jail.

1– If you don’t like it, Don’t Watch it.2– 53 Dead: A new record3– American Airlines, It's not just me.4– Stand your ground = manslaughter5– Finally a bad one dies6– The activities fund was used for some hella bad activity

1- Anti-Fa is not pro-terror. It's ANTI-FASCIST. 2- 2019 or 1955 3- Go see The Look. Spoiler: black people you’ve seen it already 4- Jay Z and the NFL 5- Simone Biles is the GOAT 6- RIP Cedric Benson

1- 4 shootings over 40 dead, if you’re keeping score.2– Yes, it's racism. Yes, it's Trump. And it was Dayton, not Toledo.3– No, it wasn’t video games or gay marriage.4– The Times drops the ball5– Now a word from a real President. Thank you, Mr. Obama.6– Nothing changes. No one leads.7– He’ll still win again8– Heir's property is still your property9– Back on da road

1- Crazy travels2- It's hard to defend my racist.3- Pelosi vs The Squad: Trump wins.4- Send pedophiles to gen pop!5- Heirs property is real wealth6- Who does he play for?7- Have FUN.

1- One episode, 10 episodes, or all the episodes... THANKS FOR LISTENING!2- We’re debating early3- Couldn’t be a scumbag, she’s not my type.4- Republican power forever5- Gimme that blood. You have no secrets.6- Hello, Oregon. We ain’t voting. We got gunz.7- Conservative comics getting paid. I can't do it.8- You’re under arrest for turning in the guns he was gonna shoot you with.9- You’re under arrest for being shot in your pregnant stomach.10- We’d televise your arrest but NRA TV is BROKE.

1- Sarah Huckabee Sanders is gone. It's true.2- Pride? NO. Cuba? NO. Pelosi? NO. Foreign interference in elections? I’m ok with that.3- Poor red states. I’m not offering sympathy. I’m saying we have poor ass red states.4- Alabama hates abortion so much they gave back free money5- Your baby’s dead, here’s the bill.6- A new low in humanity7- Bullets! Get your bullets! Hurry up! Common sense is coming!8- WHEN THEY SEE US: please see this.

1- Still Shooting2- I’m not sorry, suckers, give money.3- You voted against your life4- Women are not the enemy. They’re just attacked.5- Commander in Cheat