Straight Talk For A Curvy World

  * This podcast is a conversation between adults, please be aware of who may be listening in with you.    My friends Charlie, Felicia and Leigh are joining me once again to share intimate details about their sexual preferences and experiences. Today’s honest conversation includes a follow up from last episodes at-home frosting assignment, answering listener questions and finally, we ponder whether or not the bush will actually come back in style.   Inquiring Minds Want to Know Claire lives in New York, is newly single, and starting to date again after being married for 22 years. She asks our group what we think about men calling us sluts or whores while we are having sex with them. Group response: We all agree that communication is the key to this working out and most of us don’t mind it if it is in the moment. Leigh, however, would give the mouthy bastard a black eye and promptly leave.   Shelly is 43 and lives in Nashville, Tennessee. She requests that we discuss orgasms.  Group response: One member of our

As many of you know, I have been planning my book launch, birthday party, and a spectacular Straight Talk for a Curvy World Live event. I decided that on my 50th birthday, I would celebrate the beginning of the second half of my life by sharing the first part of my life in a series of stories and lessons. In preparation for making my book the best book it could be, I sent my manuscript to a group of beta readers. This was a little bit scary. I had read my book over and over, and because I was so close to it, I needed to get feedback from others so I would know if there was anything missing. In this episode, I share the feedback I received from the beta readers and my carefully reconsidered future plans.  I believe with my whole heart that my book should benefit and serve those who trust me enough to read it. I refuse to put out anything that is less than what you deserve. Much like this podcast, my listeners and future readers deserve the best of me. I want to thank all of you for sharing your stories with me

In 2015, on a street in London, Sheree Angela Matthews was listening to a podcast. The podcast just happened to be my conversation with Shannon Crotty, founder of Polka Dot Powerhouse. Sheree started crying while listening and decided to reach out. I am so pleased she did. Her journey, which she shares with us today, is personal, touching and transformational.   Those Who Can’t Do, Teach?  Sheree has been writing since she was 6 years old. Her father would give her a notebook and a pencil and tell her to amuse herself. She used to make stories of a little mouse who was always the hero and who always saved the day. During her educational years, there was never any talk of being able to have a career in writing. Students were guided towards more traditional work, like police women or teachers. So, Sheree became a teacher but she was secretly writing the entire time. She now has a Ph.D. in Creative Writing from Newcastle University, two full-length collections of published poetry, she is an expert in Black, Brit

As the date of my book launch gets closer, I find myself going through a lot of emotions. I’ve put myself and my stories out there for everyone to see. It makes me appreciate my guests who have come on this podcast and shared their very personal stories with us, even more so. I didn’t think that was possible. But through all of the emotions, I truly believe that this is important. This release, this freedom, this place of life-changing sharing is beneficial for all of us. This podcast includes a glimpse of one of my stories I share in my book, I Am More Than Enough - Secrets, Sex, Shame and the Search for Self-love.   Saving Face Almost 33 years ago, I was raped in a small town, by small town boys. The “Mandatory Reporters” I talked to about it offered no help to an 18-year-old whose confidence had just been exterminated. Self-destructive behaviors began to take the place of self-love and joy turned into worthlessness. My parents and the school faculty acted in the manner which they believed was best for the

Today, I graciously hand the controls and my microphone over to my dear friend Nicole Fende. Nicole has promised to be gentle with me and since she has started her own podcast I decided to sit underneath her verbal microscope and field some questions about my new book and live event. A Book Baby It was exactly 3:22 in the p.m. on the 4th of July, 2016 that Ann hand delivered the very last word on the very last page of her new book, I Am More Than Enough. It was very emotional for her. It took her exactly 9-months to write it from start to finish but the stories she shares took a lifetime to create. Ann describes the book as, not a memoir but an inspirational, transformational self-help book. Ann is exceptionally gifted in: Helping people to feel comfortable enough to tell their own stories She gives people permission to have their own similar feelings She gifts others with the tools to move forward. Specifically, the I AM habits. So naturally, each of her chapters is followed up by a reflection on what less

This is a place for women to share their secrets, share their stories, and share their shame completely free of judgment. In this safe place, you will be embraced only with love, acceptance, and validation.   A Sisterhood of Sharing  Remembering my Grandmother, Elsie, on the day of her birth reminds me of the stories she would tell me of her own Sisterhood of Sharing. She and a group of supportive friends would meet in church basements, dining rooms or wherever they could find a moment together to talk about their lives. They would share stories of their children, new babies, love, money troubles, men and even share a good cry when they needed some freedom and release. Having a sisterhood does make a difference.   My Vision  My vision was to create a place of support for women who needed it. A sisterhood which is supported and encouraged by the men in our lives. A sisterhood where we would be heard and validated, where we would be loved and no longer silent. A place where women would feel safe to share their

*This is an adult conversation so please be aware of who may be listening in with you.   Recording this episode was so much fun. My guests are three of my closest friends, Felicia, Charlie, and Leigh. We sat down in my living room, the day after the summer solstice, to discuss blowjobs while enjoying a bottle (or 2) of wine. Everyone agreed to be open, frank and honest with the hopes that those of you who may not have a friend to discuss this topic with can feel like you are sitting at the far end of the couch with us.   Where, When and How? Several important revelations came from this portion of our conversation. We discovered that a Native American palate is better equipped than a Caucasian palate for natural blowjob selection, that rakers need to watch more porn, older women have the highest STD rates and that you’re not supposed to blow. It is also apparent that when you are younger intercourse almost always follows.   Does Semen Really Come in Pineapple Flavor? This group of ladies was split when it came

*This is an adult conversation so please be aware of who may be listening with you.   My guest Barbara, who will soon be turning 50, is a mother with five kids at home and is currently going through her second divorce. She and her ex-husband have just finished the paperwork after going through the mediation process. She says that anyone who wants to create continuity for the children during this emotional undertaking should consider mediation as a way to save money, time and tears. This powerful conversation with Barbara addresses a subject which is very rarely discussed. That is when sexual relations occur between children in the same family. Barbara exhibits great courage in sharing her story with us today and says that if just one person is helped or one misconception is clarified, then it is worth it for her to share.  “In the darkest moments, in the darkest of days, when it seems there is no hope when everything is going against you, HOLD ON. The light will come, the light will come, don’t give up. And w

*This is an adult conversation so please be aware of who may be listening with you.   A Special Passage for Lisa “I am worthy. You were born worthy. You don’t have to do anything to make yourself worthy. You are a superhero born into this world and being you is all you need to do. Express yourself and don’t believe the hype that says you need to be anything more than your amazing self. I used to believe I wasn’t deserving of great things but when I began declaring my worth my life changed for the better.”  - from the soon to be best-seller I AM...: A Girl’s Guide to Harnessing SuperPowers   The “I AM” Initiative Even though we live in the same area, the universe wanted Lisa Van Ahn and I to meet in Florida. We both have made it our mission to propagate the “I AM” habits. As a listener of my podcast, you are aware of how I broadcast the message. Lisa chooses to spread the message by empowering 3rd to 8th grade girls with superpowers and the 3 rules of self-defense. She teaches them that the right action is the

My guest, Theresa Vigarino is a transformational certified life coach, a spiritual teacher, author and professional speaker. Theresa’s work includes changing thought patterns through neuroscience. She is truly the epitome of joy, as you can hear by our conversation today. Her coaching programs are designed to assist women who are ready to live life to the fullest. She says “Just because life has been a certain way in the past doesn’t mean it has to be that way in the future.” When I met Theresa at Tropical Think Tank in the Philippines, 2016, I knew we were kindred spirits right from the start. We were like magnets drawn to each other. I meet the most amazing people at these events.   Repeating the Same Disappointing Cycles Our subconscious mind is powerful. It is responsible for 80% of our daily decisions and behaviors. She says that if you really want to make a long lasting change or to transform a behavior you must hit it from every direction. The brain is diligent about keeping us stuck in patterns becaus

*This is an adult conversation feel free to share but only after listening to it first, please.   You Have Got to Be Kidney’n Me Katrina Clayton has had a variety of different jobs, and while it seems natural for a native Southern Californian to have actress and waitress listed on her bio, she also has some ‘not so common’ positions like working for Mattel as the Honorary Brunette, Glitter Beach Barbie and Organ Model for an ultrasound company. Her job as a kidney model was the easiest and best-paying job she has had to date. Though she has great veins, she’s not vain.  Katrina is currently the co-host of Bouncing Back Radio, a podcast she does with her partner Bonnie and describes as an eclectic mix of healthy living and being mindful without holding anything back. Her favorite episode is The Power to Forgive and Reconcile. Forgiveness is a process that goes much deeper than many people think.   Carrying the Secret Becomes Destructive The story Katrina shares with us today isn’t a story she has told anyone o

Lowry Olafson is a multi-faceted human being. He is a songwriter, a performer, a husband, a lover, a father, a friend, an inspiration and a professional speaker who incorporates his music into his keynotes. During today’s podcast, he shares his music, his message, and his secrets.   His Songs and Their Stories Lowry uses songs to connect with others. All of his 9 albums have a different theme which represents the feelings he was having during those periods of his life. He says a songwriter uses a powerful melody to reach a deeper place in people. If Not You Then Who? - This very personal song was written with his friend John Cowell. John and Lowry started writing this song shortly before John died of cancer. Lowry performed this song at John’s Celebration of Life. It stands as a legacy to John’s life. The title came from Lowry’s wife’s high school teacher. Bread & Honey - From the album titled Days that Disappear Too Soon, Lowry wrote this song for his mother who died when he was 13. It was such a shock t

A Special Passage for Karen “My life is not perfect, nor is it close to being perfect. I am not perfect. I am, in fact, a bundle of imperfections. I wish - sometimes I wish with all my heart - that I could correct these imperfections; that I knew what causes my behaviors, what sets up my downfalls, what keeps getting in my way. That’s why I’ve come to You, I guess. I haven’t been able to find the answers on my own. I am glad you came. I have always been here to help you. I am here now. You don’t have to find the answers on your own. You never had to.”  - From Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch   A Prozac Induced Mania  Most of us believe medicines will heal our illnesses. We do not expect a drug to exacerbate our problems, so when one actually does, it’s difficult to know that it is at the root of the problem. Karen Gray shares how Prozac caused a mania which led her down the dark hallways of depression, suicidal thoughts and the disintegration of her marriage to a good man. She says “depression is

*Consider who may be listening with you this episode contains fun stuff that only adults should hear.   A Special Passage for Monica From The Call - Sometimes it comes as a soft-bellied whisper. Sometimes it holds an edge of urgency, but it always says, “Wake up my love. You are walking asleep, there’s no safety in that.”   Now Where Did I Put That? Aging can be fun if we think about it as a never-ending game of hide-and-seek. The physical aspects of getting older are easier for us to deal with, than the mental and emotional changes taking place within our bodies. We understand a tire with a nail in it isn’t fit to be on the road, but if the same tire just doesn’t feel like going out for a Sunday drive because it may or may not feel flat, we have a hard time accepting that. And it’s not just us. There is a lot of judgement going on between people who see another person being emotional as a weakness. Most of us can remember a time when we have commented negatively about a person who allows their mental state

A Special Passage “To discover who she is, a woman must descend into her own depths. She must leave the safe role of remaining a faithful daughter of the collectives around her and descend to her individual feeling values. It will be her task to experience her pain. The pain of her own unique feeling values calling to her, pressing to emerge. To discover who she is, a woman must trust the places of darkness where she can meet her own deepest nature and give it voice. Weaving threads of her life into a fabric to be named and given. Sharing it with the women around her as she comes to a true and certain sense of herself.” - from Circle of Stones: Woman’s Journey to Herself by Judith Duerk   About Cas My guest today, Cas McCullough is an author, a small business owner twice over, a podcaster, a mother thrice over and is a person with undiagnosed Asperger’s. I met Caz in the Philippines at Chris Ducker’s Tropical Think Tank. Cas shares that her personal growth has been amazing this year and offers up this advice,

*This conversation may include opinions of family law but it should not be considered legal advice.    Special Passages      “Happiness comes more from loving than being loved, and often when our affection seems wounded it is only our vanity bleeding. To love, and to be hurt often, and to love again — this is the brave and happy life.” - by J.E. Buckrose    “Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.” - from The Fear of Flying by Erica Jong   Crossing Relationship Borders    Kim Bell has crossed many borders in her life. She is an Australian who is married to an American she met while in the Philippines and who currently lives in Canada. Both of her husbands, previous and current, had children before she married them. She doesn’t have any offspring. This in combination with

*This conversation includes adult language so be aware of who might be listening in with you.   A Special Passage for Nicole    Art is a spiritual transaction. Artists are visionaries. We routinely practice a form of faith, seeing clearly and moving toward a creative goal that shimmers in the distance – often visible to us, but invisible to those around us. Difficult as it is to remember, it is our work that creates the market, not the market that creates our work. Art is an act of faith, and we practice practicing it. Sometimes we are called on pilgrimages on its behalf and like many pilgrims, we doubt the call even as we answer it but answer it we do. - From the 10th Anniversary Edition of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron    Finding Enlightenment from a Bad Experience Nicole had the unfortunate experience of having her car windows busted out by vandals while she was in San Francisco. She had to drive on the expressway to her art therapy classes for students with autism and Alzheimer’s. As the wind ripped

This episode gets raw and honest, so be aware of who might be listening in with you.   A Special Quote for Jennifer    “Don't lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don't have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don't know what it is yet.” - From Brave Enough by Cheryl Strayed   Running Away from a Bad Country Song In 2013, Jennifer Buchholz wanted to get numb. Her relationship of 10-years was ending, she was caring for her sick father, two of her cats died and she had just turned 40. She, like most of us, thought running away would make her problems disappear. Even though she felt guilty about planning her trip while her father was bedridden, she realized she really could just pick up and take off on her own. She was now single. She didn’t have any children and she could work remotely. So she called a travel agent with her two prerequisites, warm an

This episode contains inspiration and proof of how we can all get to our fulfilled place. Believing we are not destined to live the script someone else wrote for us, is empowering.   A Special Quote for Cathy    When the pressure is on and you are all alone take a little ride into the Danger Zone. When the moon is up and the skies are clear just show me a sign and we’ll be outta here. Take me up on a wing and a prayer if you need a friend you know I’ll be there. Your time has come, you can stand or you can run but don’t keep it all inside ‘cause you gotta understand that there ain’t no second chance. No one gets out of here alive only the strong survive. - “Only the Strong Survive” by Bryan Adams   Goodbye Old Life, I Am Going on an Adventure Cathy Plotnick mistakenly got married instead of pursuing something she wanted to pursue. She always thought she would go to Japan to teach English but then she found herself married to the wrong guy. It turns out he had anger issues and Cathy was compelled to secretly o

A Special Quote for Theresa Boundaries emerge from deep within. They are connected to letting go of guilt and shame, and to changing our beliefs about what we deserve. As our thinking about this becomes clearer, so will our boundaries. Boundaries are also connected to a Higher Timing than our own. We’ll set a limit when we’re ready, and not a moment before. So will others. There’s something magical about reaching that point of becoming ready to set a limit. We know we mean what we say; others take us seriously too. Things change, not because we’re controlling others, but because we’ve changed. - From Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go   The People Pleasing Human Pretzel Is the admiration that accompanies mothering everybody in our lives, worth the giant gaping void we get from not taking care of ourselves? More than likely not, but many women don’t seem to change their sacrificial behavior until they feel like they have lost themselves or some even take it to the edge of dying inside. They twist an