My Mum Has Seen A Movie

This week mum spoils the heck out of Downton Abbey: A New Era, aka Posh People on Tour. She also reviews The Northman, a flick about sexy Vikings ("It was all codswallop as far as I'm concerned").

This week mum has seen Sandra Bullock and Channing Tatum in comedy adventure movie The Lost City ("it's better than Romancing the Stone because Magic Mike is in it"). She also reviews Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore, Warner Bros' latest attempt to milk the Harry Potter franchise for a few more quid ("I tried to go to sleep").

This week mum has seen Colin Firth in Second World War espionage thriller Operation Mincemeat ("he doesn't look like Mr Darcy anymore"). She also reviews Nicolas Cage as Nicolas Cage in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent ("it's funny, it's weird – well done, Nicholas").

This week mum has seen Best Picture winner Coda ("the girl's an expert fish gutter") and Netflix thriller The Weekend Away ("it's just shit").

This week mum has seen Jared Leto as a vampire/superhero in Morbius ("I loved the CGI") and Netflix's Arctic disaster movie, Against the Ice ("I'll just tell you that in the end, they're saved").

This week mum has seen Jake Gyllenhaal play "a naughty boy" in Ambulance. She also reviews Windfall starring Jesse Plemons, "The feller from Argos" (she means Fargo).

This week mum has seen The Phantom of the Open, a British comedy about golf. She also reviews Benedict "Cumbo" Cumberbatch in The Power of the Dog ("It's sweet and sour: like a Chinese meal").

This week mum has seen British romcom Ali & Ava. She also reviews Netflix's Munich: The Edge of War.

This week mum reviews the new and very innovative dark take on everyone's favourite goth oligarch, The Batman ("It's 5 minutes off 3 hours"). She also reviews The Adam project, the latest action comedy from Ryan Reynolds ("That feller who burnt his face and had to wear a costume").

This week mum has seen Marry Me, a romcom starring J-Lo and that volleyball from Castaway. She also reviews her first Jean-Pierre Jeunet film and unfortunately it's his new stinker, Bigbug.

This week mum reviews Kenneth Branagh's moustache in Poirot 2: Cruise Control, aka Death on the Nile ("they've trimmed it"). She has also seen Dog, starring Channing Tatum and a dog.

This week mum reviews video game adaptation Uncharted, starring Spiderman and Marky Mark ("I would rather watch this than Indiana Jones"). She has also seen pensioner art-heist flick The Duke ("Helen Mirren plays a blinder").

It's the 250th episode of My Mum Has Seen a Movie, and to celebrate Rob and mum are watching the best film ever made about parents and children: Yasujiro Ozu's 1953 classic, Tokyo Story.

This week mum has seen the fourth installment in the Jackass series, Jackass Forever ("When you're 50 odd, it's pathetic"). She also reviews Olivia Colman drama The Lost Daughter ("I've already got enough to be depressed about").

This week mum has seen Roland Emmerich's latest disaster / movie: Moonfall. She also reviews Tom Stoppard's new play, Leopoldstadt, which is allowed because she saw it at her local cinema so it qualifies as a film.

This week mum has seen the new Scream movie (number 5 in the series if you're counting: they're not). As usual, it stars "Cox, and another one who was a witch in something". She also reviews Kenneth Branagh's Belfast ("He likes to blow his own trumpet, right up his own backside").

Oh no, it's a Bradley Cooper special! Cooper, aka Default Actor Man, stars alongside Cate Blanchett in circus-set thriller, Nightmare Alley. He also pops up in Californian coming-of-age comedy, Licorice Pizza.

Mum reviews Benedict Cumberbatch and Claire Foy in twee cat meme, The Electrical Life of Louis Wain. She also fails to remember underwhelming action thriller, The 355.

This week mum has been to see "duh-d-duh-dUH-d-duh-MEH-ri-ca!" (Westside Story) and a British thriller starring Stephen Graham as a pressured chef about to pop a brain-vein (Boiling Point).

This week mum reviews Netflix doom-fest Don't Look Up, starring Leo DiCaprio and "Hummingbird" (Jennifer Lawrence). She has also seen spy-prequel The King's Man ("It's hard-hitting stuff – lots of dagger work").