The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert

What are the signs?  What are the things to be looking for? How do I know they are cheating or if I am just spinning in my head?  All these questions are addressed in this episode.  

There is never any magic pill to recovery but there is a way to make small improvements even when things suck.  Being curious can make all the difference when things are tough as it can help you get out of your own way and consider where your partner is.  

Feeling unique is a common thing.  One can go to a single 12 step meeting and walk away thinking their story is better or worse than others and feel a sense of hopelessness or a sense of pride and denial.  Listen as Brannon, Coby and Ashlynn share their experience with this curious frame of mind and perspective.  

Abuse is a devastating thing in all its forms and has no place in a relationship no matter who you are.  Is it possible though to be in a relationship and not realize it is abusive?  How do I know if my partner and I abusive to each other without knowing it?  Brannon walks Coby and Ashlynn through this difficult topic. 

There are always unanswered questions about an affair that can spin endlessly in the mind of the one betrayed.  What are some considerations in pursuing the idea?  What would you say?  Listen as Ashlynn shares her thoughts on what she did when she reached out to Coby's second affair partner.  

Each month we host a Q&A where we answer questions from people who are patrons on our premium site.  This episode is a small piece of that.  We also post weekly videos on our Patreon site to share insights we all have from our mentoring and therapy we do.  It is a great resource that can add tremendous value to your recovery and can give you access to us in a different way than a podcast episode.  

When the addicted has betrayed so many times, lied over and over how can the one who was hurt NOT watch every move with an all seeing eye?  That is the first instinct much of the time but why is it not helpful?  What does it do to the relationship?  Listen as Brannon walks through this key crossroad of recovery with Coby and Ashlynn.

This is a sneak peek of the first of six modules in an online course we are creating called From Shattered to Thriving.  This episode will give a little glimpse of what to expect behind this content-rich course.   For more info on the course go to shatteredtothriving.com

When words are cheap how can an addict expect the betrayed to embrace a kind and sweet word?  How can something be true when there is nothing by way of action to support such a statement?  Listen as Coby gives insights to this exact action when he was acting out in addiction and how Ashlynn felt and responded when she heard such things.  Brannon sheds light on this dynamic that is riddled with complexity.  

Betrayal trauma is a real thing.  It affects so many and is devastating. But what if the experts treating this have it wrong and cannot get their patients through this trauma?  What if they don't know how to move them forward in a systematic way so their patients are not stuck?

Not acting out is a thing and often times is the immediate goal.  However, when we don't feel better and our partners seem to feel the energy that goes with the white knuckling, things can get tough.  So why can't I stop white knuckling?

Coby could not figure out how to build trust as he did not know how to speak the truth even in small things.  The effect on Ashlynn was significant to see him hide or lie about the little things in life.  Brannon leads these two on the journey of discovering why truth was so hard for Coby to speak and what the effect was on Ashlynn.  

There is so much that goes into recovery.  Doing can keep everyone busy till the wee hours of the night but what happens when we feel like something is missing?  Here some things to consider when you get to that spot.  

This delicate episode will describe how Ashlynn and Coby were raised when it comes to demonstrations of love and those behavioral norms impact their relationship.  Brannon leads them through the path of bridging the gap.  

Ashlynn and Coby are guided by Brannon on how recovery can be a drag and what that looks like.  It can be a hardship to put so much time, energy and resources into such a devastating thing when you don't feel better.  

When things went wrong for Ashlynn and Coby, they developed eyes to see all the things that were bad, hard or fell short of expectations.  This episode describes what that looked like and how Coby developed eyes to see his failings from a young age and how he carried that into his marriage and perpetuated addiction.

Boundaries are a critical piece of any relationship, especially a committed relationship.  Today, the BAE crew discusses what healthy boundaries in marriage and relationships should look like.  And what boundaries are not.   If you want a thriving relationship boundaries are critical and here you'll find Brannon provide a checklist of effective boundary creation. If you want free access to our latest course, be 1 of the first 50 to visit the site... www.shatteredtothriving.com For deep dive access and even more resources and support for surviving an affair, understanding your spouses porn addiction, and recovering from betrayal trauma check out Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/betrayedaddictedexpert For 1 on 1 coaching you can get on Coby and Ashlynn's wait by contacting us at. ashlynnandcoby.com/contact-us For therapy reach out to us at Therapyutah.org Thanks Joining us Recovery Warriors!

#Recovery is so hard because it makes me so uncomfortable at best and painful at its worst.  So how long does it take cause it is exhausting?  This episode will illustrate how pain tolerance is a key function of recovery so we don't see time as working against us.     PATREON LINK Got Questions? Want more content, access and interaction with Ashlynn, Coby and Brannon? That is found at https://www.patreon.com/betrayedaddictedexpert For therapy at Brannon’s clinic go to https://therapyutah.org  For group mentoring with Ashlynn for the betrayed and group and/or one on one mentoring for the addicted go to www.ashlynnandcoby.com/contactus

In today's culture, it is not whether someone has seen porn or not.  The foregone conclusion is that people have seen it since a young age by choice or by porn finding them.  So while #dating how do you have the conversation about the experience each person has with #porn so it is known what you are dealing with?  What are the considerations and what are dealbreakers?      PATREON LINK Got Questions? Want more content, access and interaction with Ashlynn, Coby and Brannon? That is found at https://www.patreon.com/betrayedaddictedexpert For therapy at Brannon’s clinic go to https://therapyutah.org  For group mentoring with Ashlynn for the betrayed and group and/or one on one mentoring for the addicted go to www.ashlynnandcoby.com/contactus

Coby used to give the power of his emotions to Ashlynn and others to determine how he felt (Codependent). Ashlynn would emotionally withdraw to a state of independence where she would function in a detached way from Coby and operate as an independent partner in their relationship (Independence). Listen as they discuss what they did and what the implications of this behavior were.