Magnificent Midlife

An interview with Feyi Raimi-Abraham, founder of a fabulous new company called The Black Dementia Company, set up during lockdown and inspired into creation by caring for her mother who has dementia. We talk about: • Why Feyi felt there was a need for this company • How lockdown accelerated that need • What she hopes to achieve with the company • What it’s like caring for her mother • When she first noticed signs of dementia in her mother • How the dementia progressed • How Feyi adapted to being her mother’s full time carer • Adjusting to her mother as a new person having been a strong, very active and independent woman in her past • The impact on Feyi’s wider family • The systems and tools she’s put in place to support her mum • Advice for people who suspect there may be an issue with their loved one and especially their parent • How can family best support the person diagnosed with dementia • Getting rid of the stigma of dementia • Looking out for signs of dementia • Simple tests that can be done to check f

Trish Beauchamp is a coach who helps women navigate change in relationships due to divorce, death or disconnection. She spent 35 years as a teacher and then experienced her own midlife unravelling facing personal challenges with health, relationships and her change in career. She joins me today to particularly talk about anxiety, cos I thought we could all do with some help in that particular area. • Why anxiety can be such an issue in midlife for many women • How midlife can be less of a crisis and more of an unravelling • Allowing ourselves to feel the feelings not fighting against them • The vagus nerve and how it can decrease our heighted levels of stress • Taking the time to create what we need to bring ourselves back into balance • Depression being about the past and anxiety about the future • Recognising the impact of sensory overload on our wellbeing • Recognising when overwhelm is getting to dangerous levels • Adding in self-care options to ensure we can live well • Identifying the triggers for an

Clare Josa is an author of 8 books, a speaker, an NLP trainer and a leadership mentor. She started out as an engineer and uses a lot of that discipline in her soul-engineered leadership work. She says that “changing the world isn’t so much about what you do, as about who you allow yourself to become. “ We talk about: How Clare moved from engineering to doing what she does now Sexism in engineering when she started out Moving into market research at Dyson Wanting to work with people instead of machines and make a difference Bringing the woo into engineering and personal development How men are often more open to the woo and energy work than women Teaching energy work experientially so that everyone can get it Women leaders can sometimes be wearing too much armour to embrace the more feminine aspects of leadership The importance of being accepted for all of who we are How work still doesn’t work for women who have responsibilities outside work How Covid has helped many working women by forcing meetings an

An empowering discussion with Dr Rhoberta Shaler, the relationship help expert. She helps people to recognize and recover from the toxic relationships that can make us crazy! We talk about: • How to define a toxic relationship • The pressure that gets put on relationships • What Rhoberta means by a hijackal in a relationship • How a hijackal looks for power, status and control • How to identify a hijackal • All or nothing thinking and how insidious that is • What to do if you find that’s the kind of relationship you have • How to recognize and deal with gaslighting in a relationship • Resisting the temptation to think we can nurture the hijackal out of their behaviour • Rhoberta’s ABB formula – Always believe the behaviour • Relationship breakdown in midlife – often the behaviour becomes more evident without other variable in the home • We deserve to have relationships with equality, reciprocity and mutuality bringing true intimacy • You don’t need approval from someone you don’t approve of – Rachel’s big ah

Every season I do a solo episode. I'm in contemplative mood again thinking about the challenging world we're living in right now, and how we can build and maintain our resilience. I talk about: Jacinda Ardern’s landslide victory in New Zealand Women leading as women not trying to be men or by burning out The impact of stress on our health Covid making us all depleted and how important it is to replenish My son coming home Tricky conversations about race Being open to being uncomfortable so we can continue to grow My hopes for the US election Living in a Covid world Getting creative about festivals and celebration Not being able to go visit my mum again Staying positive Since I recorded this, I became aware that the video I mentioned is not wholly correct. Trump did say there were fine people on both sides after the disturbances in Charlottesville, but in that press conference he went on to say that he was not talking about the white supremacists. I still have no doubt that he has stoked the fires of prejudi

Iffat Shahnaz is a lifelong campaigner committed to social justice and equality. She works with organisations committed to social change and tackling social exclusion and discrimination. She specialises in gender-based violence, community education, facilitation, service development and change management. We talk about: How Iffat became so passionate about social justice The legacy of her parents and their story as children of partition Being the child of immigrants from the former commonwealth The family trauma that lead to Iffat wanting to make the world a better place for everyone Going back to her parents’ village in India The lack of safe passage when people are facing displacement, at the time of partition and now Why her father was so keen that she should learn to swim How the family managed to get to England from Pakistan Racial abuse growing up in the West Midlands in school and on the street Feeling hopeful despite systemic discrimination The impact of Covid and the Black Lives Matter movement on g

An interview with Dr Joanna Martin founder of One of Many, a women’s leadership community which started in the UK and is now global through its online community and trainings. She was a medical doctor and an actor before finding her mission as a coach helping women lead. We talk about: Why Jo is so passionate about helping women step into leadership roles The importance of grassroots women’s leadership Why women tend to burn out so easily The importance of setting boundaries so we can thrive better Why women are generally more unhappy now than at the time of the Women’s Liberation Movement Why women need to find a new kind of power to be consistently effective How midlife women are often drawn to take more of a leadership role but need to find a way to do that without burning out Reframing feminine power as soft power – it does not mean weak We can bring more femininity to our lives without that being a mark against us How Covid has brought out wonderful examples of soft power leadership from women The five

Meet the co-hosts of the Hot Flashes and Cool Topics podcast, Colleen Rosenblum and Bridgett Biagi Garratt. We talk about: Why they decided to start a podcast and how they came up with the name How we are set on a path of life and when we get to midlife, it gets a bit confused! How we need more of a sense of fulfilment in midlife. The benefits of having a supportive partner despite them not listening to their podcast! The importance of spreading the word about menopause and making it less taboo. Raising awareness of menopause in the workplace and in doctors’ offices. Differences in menopause awareness between the UK and the US. Getting menopause on the school curriculum in the UK. Trying to get a more positive perspective on menopause. Understanding that women’s sexual desire starts in the brain. Getting curious about what happens to women in midlife and through menopause. Reframing the conversation about midlife to the future rather than the past. The importance of looking forward rather than just backw

Dr Sonia Wright is a medical doctor, radiologist, life coach and most importantly for us, a midlife sexual counsellor for women. She’s also tremendous fun. This is a brilliant interview all about midlife sex. If you have any issues at all, even tiny ones, in this department, or just want to make your sex life even better, this interview will get you feeling inspired and empowered to take excellent care of yourself and your partner. Let’s all have more fun! We talk about: How Sonia went from being a radiologist to becoming a sex coach. Understanding the pleasure gap between men and women Moving beyond penis in vagina (PIV) sex The importance of clitoral stimulation How our libido changes as we age Thinking about the many factors that may impact our libido Our biggest sexual organ is the brain Staying curious and exploring different ways to be sexual Self-pleasure to maintain the blood supply to the vulval area Feeling comfortable using lubricants Your best sexual partner is yourself The wonders of the clitori

Angela Raspass is my mentor and she works with women to find, create and grow their next chapter in business and life. She's as determined as I am to help women find passion, purpose and fulfilment in midlife and beyond. She also knows just how powerful we can be if we just believe in ourselves! We talk about: • How Angela moved from corporate to setting up a marketing business and finally becoming a business and life mentor • Unpicking her sense of self-worth from running her business • How she learnt that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should • Your business needs to serve you as much as your customers • How women’s ability to contribute just expands as we age • Self-doubt is the biggest issue for women and we need to dismantle our old stories • Getting stuck in the conditioning and messages society gives us • Learning to listen to our intuition and Angela’s next chapter model of change • Moving through discontent and trying to work out what we want next • What would you rant about on y

Meet Sam Walker, host of the fabulous Sam Walker’s Desert Diaries podcast, which she started to document her move from Manchester, UK to Phoenix, Arizona. Sam is a master storyteller, an award-winning radio and TV broadcaster, a multiple podcast producer and presenter, a writer with a book being published next year and a woman who’s encountered coyotes, snakes and scorpions in the desert. Since we recorded this she won three (yes three) awards at the British Podcast awards! We talk about: Why Sam decided to up sticks and move from Manchester to the desert How she pushed through the fear both before making the move and after, given all the issues she has faced Having support when making a big life change Trusting the universe when there are signs along the way The importance of trying to live our dreams no matter how big or small those might be The difficulties and highlights of her life in Arizona The many quirky things about adapting to US life Trying to function in the US without a credit history The de

An interview with Lisa Weldon, a writer who’s created a fascinating life for herself in her next chapter, by walking cities! This was recorded pre lockdown when travel was still normal but seems super relevant now that walking is a much more comfortable option than public transport! We talk about: How and why Lisa started walking cities How she decides where she’s going to walk Why she chose to go to Shanghai What she does when she first arrives at a destination What it’s like travelling alone What she loves about walking cities Being more confident and outgoing when we’re abroad The most interesting things she’s discovered about a city that only walking could make happen Lisa’s favourite city to walk and why Getting used to eating alone Lisa’s narrow escapes. Fortunately, not too many! Lisa’s favourite walking footwear What this experience has taught her about herself Lisa’s advice for a woman in midlife who’s stuck and in need of an adventure And lots more! You can find out more about Lisa: Lisa’s Website

An interview with Laurie Mucha, the charming founder of the Feminista Film Festival. This interview was recorded as coronavirus was kicking off in the UK, but before lockdown. My, how things changed quickly after that! Laurie shares all about how she came to set up her own film festival and the lessons she has learnt. We talk about: The need to learn on the job Creating a vehicle to share great stories about women Setting up something from scratch Coping with pandemic anxiety (at the beginning) Learning on the job how to set up a film festival Imposter syndrome and working beyond that The value of not knowing what you’re doing because it brings a new perspective Not allowing imposter syndrome to be an excuse Vocal ticks that we use to put ourselves down Stopping the self-sabotage How we are all able to do hard things Being open to learning new things Accepting that it’s OK to not know everything when starting a business Feedback is an opportunity to learn Being prepared for not everyone to like what you do –

An intimate chat with Canadian singer songwriter Linda McLean, opening up about life, music, writing and what makes her tick as an older woman. This interview includes a reading from Linda’s forthcoming book all about making yourself the most important person in your life. We talk about: Learning to prioritize ourselves and speak our truth The emotional power of music and words Going on new creative journeys as we progress through life Thinking about what really matters in life Taking up space in our own lives Fighting the cultural imperative for women to put others first How our life anchors can shift in midlife Learning to share our stories and acknowledge the impact those can have on others Moving on from a maternal role when children leave home Finding the spark in inter-generational sharing Rationalizing our many varied roles as women Thinking about what we’d do if we were to die tomorrow Learning to live in the moment and do what we most want to do Finding answers inside ourselves and taking responsibi

A solo catchup episode with Rachel. I talk about: Adapting to a Covid world Visiting my mum Staying as healthy as possible Some of the recent podcast highlights The impact of the Black Lives Matter movement My BLM podcasts What I have learnt about being anti-racist Understanding what white privilege is Tone policing and white fragility How white silence is racism Layers of prejudice and how the focus on BLM may also help fight ageism Making the most of our heart beats Expanding our mental and emotional world despite the restrictions on our physical world 2020 – the year to reassess everything Looking inside for our inner sense of strength and knowledge Morning pages and how powerful that can be Taking time to think about what you want going forward Making the most of our power and making our voices heard Stepping into our feminine power to make a better world And more! Resources Books mentioned in this episode: Me And White Supremacy Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race (Race in the UK) List

Meet Claire Hodgson MBE, one of the stars of the fabulous play Mid Life which had a sell-out run at the Barbican in London. She’s the founder of Diverse City, the Bristol theater company behind this production and the co-founder of Extraordinary Bodies, the UK’s leading professional integrated circus company. In this inspiring and empowering interview, we talk about: Claire’s passion for diversity in the performing arts and theater in particular Institutional and systematic racism in our society and hoping that we are at a time of real transformation How it’s time for white people to do something about racism because black people are exhausted and broken How often big moments of change in social justice come very quickly and white people need to act now How it’s important to have everyone’s story told and for everyone to be represented in life to validate our identity and experience The good things that can happen for us when we just say yes The importance of intersectionality and levels of prejudice depende

An interview with Angela Counsel, naturopath, kinesiologist and mindset coach working particularly with women in midlife. Like me, she’s on a mission to spread the word that menopause doesn’t have to be a tough time in life, in fact it can be a time of stepping into your wisdom and falling in love with yourself and your life. Today we’re talking about menopause, hormonal balance and supporting our immune systems particularly in response to Covid-19. We talk about: How our jobs can impact our health How a miscarriage led Angela to study naturopathy The impact of stress on women’s bodies and how it can cause early menopause The importance of hormonal balance at all stages of our lives How it’s not normal to experience lots of symptoms around the time of menopause, if we do that means there are issues that need to be dealt with The many unnatural products in our lives that can impact our health The impact of stress on our immune systems and immune -related health issues If you struggle to get over a minor illne

An interview with Julie Owen Moylan, a writer whose short stories and articles have appeared in the Welsh Review, Horizon Literary Review and The Voice of Women in Wales Anthology. She’s also won awards for her films and has a massive following on Twitter! We talk all things writing, inspiration and finding one’s authentic voice. There’s lots of laughter here. We talk about: How Julie came to be writing her first novel at nearly 60 Following her dream of becoming a writer Her midlife excavation process How she got started writing seriously Finding the motivation to keep going The excitement of being spotted by a literary agent Making the most of our precious heartbeats Becoming more creative as we age How Julie writes and developed the story for the book The magic on days when the story just flows Julie’s belief that somewhere in the ether the book exists and her job is to transmit it The importance of just turning up to write and getting in the right mood Finding ways to take the pressure to perform off one

An incredibly powerful interview with Kimberly McCormick talking about understanding, acknowledging and taking action concerning the Black Lives Matter movement. Kimberly works at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta Georgia, is a singer/songwriter, and runs a growing community supporting diabetics. We met in a marketing group on Facebook where I found her to be an enormously inspiring speaker with a powerful way of getting past white defensiveness about our complicity in anti-black racism. So I asked her to come and talk to me so I could share her clarity, wisdom and powerful message. We talk about: The sadness in the Black community and the roller-coaster of emotions at the moment The impact of 400 years of oppression today The relief that finally people are paying attention Trying to understand the weight of the emotion, both sadness and anger within the black community Being able to accept when Black people don’t want to talk about what’s going on Moving through White fragility and no

2020 is turning out to be a momentous year in more ways than half a dozen! The Black Lives Matter movement took off again in a huge way after the murder of George Floyd. I felt it was something I had to discuss on the podcast. So I turned to a magnificent midlife woman, Kwavi Agbeyegbe, who was an early guest in Season 1, to talk to and teach me about it. We need to discuss this and white people in particular need to get educated and learn. Kwavi has a unique perspective on the situation. My hope is that this episode will in some small way help that education process.  If you find it helpful please share this. We talk about: Hoping that major change is finally in the works Kwavi living in three different countries and how that has affected her perceptions of racism Experiencing racism in church in Boston The Jim Crow laws of racial segregation in the US Having to use separate water fountains and toilet facilities  The slave trade and the implications of that Learning about anti-Black racism in the US Kwavi em