Breakup Recovery Podcast

As the holiday season is fast approaching anyone who experiencing a breakup, separation or a divorce are possibly dreading this time of the year. Martha offers some practical tips and ideas to get you through not only the holiday season but also any other time of the year that can bring an uprising of emotions. This advice will help you to not only handle your reactions but help in your recovery. Martha’s own marriage ended at the beginning of the holiday season. The hardest part of the breakup was that her ex-husband was not moving out of their apartment for some time. They had decided they would be civil and kind to each other and try and do Christmas as a coupe. This was the worst Christmas, as they were trying to work through the sadness and heartbreak, when this time of the year was supposed to be full of happiness, family and joy. For a couple of Christmas after that Martha stayed in her apartment, as this time bought back all the feelings of pain of the ending of the marriage. Finding a good support sy

Michelle Chalfant believes your limiting beliefs and the false stories that your tell yourself after your breakup can hold you back from recovering and finding happiness again. When you are going through a breakup you experience a lot of emotions such as shame, anger and sadness. Most people are not good at feeling their emotions, instead they use vices that distract them like drinking, going out or finding other things to do so they don’t feel and process their feelings. Your mind can stay stuck in these false stories that you tell yourself; often these stories are incorrect and full of assumptions and living in the land of hope or the past. Some people do not know how to feel their emotions that are deep within us. When you work through and process these emotions and feelings that you are having, it brings clarity into your life and is important if you want to move forward after your breakup. Michelle offered a number of tips and techniques to help people feel, acknowledge and process their feelings. The fi

In this week’s episode I talk with Jenn Burton on all things relating to dating again after a breakup. Jenn shares some important tips on dating so it can be done your way and on your terms so the experience can be fun and doesn’t have to filled with dread. We talk about how to know when you are ready to date again, how to begin this process, what preparations you need to complete before you start and amongst other things what your expectations should realistically be when dating a man. Jenn’s own marriage broke up on her third year anniversary, after years of marriage counseling. Jenn came to the realization that her marriage had to be more than what she was experiencing. Love had to be more than all the trials and tribulations of a marriage. Her marriage had become all about making it all about her husband’s wants, needs and desires. The day Jenn ended her marriage she was on her knees sobbing, praying and asking for a sign that would tell her there was more to love and life and three days latter a random r

There can be a number of emotions that are stopping you from moving on after your breakup, separation or divorce. In this episode I am going to explore two reasons why you are not finding happiness in your life. I am going to be talking about the impact that grief and self-sabotage can have on your emotions and why not dealing with these two things can hold you back from moving forward and finding happiness again.  Grief is an emotion that is not only associated with a relationship breakup up, but with any major loss that occurs in your life, some one or some thing that you care for, a death of a loved one, loss of a pet, the loss of a job or a loss of important possessions, and what I will be talking about in this episode, a loss of a relationship and a way of life. When we lose someone, it can take time to adjust and learn to live life without that person. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve and each person will find a different way to deal with and work through his or her own grief. The time frame

Robert Kandell is a successful writer, teacher, podcast host and coach. He has helped people build successful and honest relationships through workshops, lectures and live events. Robert understands the challenges that arise when breakups happen and he shares his own breakup stories and the steps he undertook to get back on track.   One of the key strategies that Robert did following his breakup was to learn to be by himself. He started a four-month celibacy, where he did not look for another relationship, rather he looked within and found that he was always looking for validation from his partners. He needed to be right, he needed to know that he was a good man and he was attractive.     With this information Robert started to look for ways to build up his own self-esteem. He had heard a saying that resonated with him that self-esteem is built upon estimable acts. So Robert learned to do things that made him feel good about himself, such as going to the gym and working with a personal trainer, he worked with

Most people find the divorce process difficult at best, I was pleasantly surprised after having a conversation with Dave Jackson who has navigated the Divorce process not once but twice and found that he still had a positive outlook on life. For some the end of marriage brings doom and gloom, but Dave has been able to dust himself off, reflect on his actions, look at what he did, what he could have done and what he can do better in the future. Dave talks about his first marriage and how the financial burden of trying to conceive and the pressure of not been able to have children resulted in them having to file for bankruptcy. Added to that his wife’s alcoholism and infidelity on her part, the relationship finally broke down and they decided to end their marriage. Dave moved in with his brother who helped him navigate some of the emotions that came with divorce as he too had had a similar breakup. The second time around Dave did not listen to the red flags that continually raised their heads at the beginning o

Chris is a relationship coach and in this episode we discuss how to Chris navigated his own breakup, how to sustain a successful relationship, the importance of knowing what we want and need in a partner, the significance of loving ourselves and how to achieving self love. When Chris Armstrong went through his own breakup he let some time go by before he explored at the breakdown of his relationship. By taking this time he was able to look at it with a clear head. He filled his spare time with meaningful activities that he enjoyed doing. He talked to people that had a authentic interest and desire to understand how he was doing. Understanding your non-negotiable traits that you need in a person is one of the keys to sustaining a successful relationship. So often people put their heart before their head or focus on finding someone that is the opposite to their ex-partner rather than looking for the qualities that are nonnegotiable like their personality, physical aspects and lifestyle traits. Chris also explai

A breakup often involves many changes; there can be a change in your living arrangements, your routines, your status, your wealth and for the children, all of which can be overwhelming. Change for most people can be difficult, and it can be especially challenging if you didn’t want the change in the first place. You can feel that you have lost control and the things that you would normally be able to handle with easy can suddenly feel demanding. Gary believes that everybody has the power to handle the changes in their life after a breakup. Once you change your perspective and start to see the opportunities and the good things that are happening for you, once you start making decisions that need to be made you start to feel the control come back into your life. Gary’s first major decision was to move his ex-wife and children closer to him. Men are wired differently to women look at breakups from a different perspective. While men often worry about the necessaries like putting a roof over their families heads,

Lisa’s life felt like a movie gone bad when she received a text whilst on holidays from her husband of 16 years telling her the marriage was over. And that was the last piece of correspondence she ever had from her husband. After some digging Lisa found that her husband had been living a double life, he had manufactured a job he didn’t have, he fabricated an income, racked up a 6-figure debt and had married another woman therefore committing felony bigamy. Lisa felt completely alone, and started to journal her story as therapy, which soon become her blog ‘Lessons from the end of a marriage’ with the intention to help other people who were facing similar situations. The blog also shares stories on how to survive divorce, life in general, how to overcome abandonment, emotional abuse and gaslighting, which Lisa experienced. People often struggle with the length of time it can take to get over a breakup, and want to feel better right away. They often get down on themselves when they don’t feel better on the time

If you are thinking about going through or have gone through your divorce, Lisa Thomson’s books and blogs are a great source advice for divorce navigation and recovery. Lisa was married for 17 years when she took a deep look at why she was unhappy and faced the hard truth about what she needed to do to bring the joy back into her life. Lisa’s first book ‘The Great Escape; A Girl’s Guide To Leaving a Marriage’ provides practical how to tips and stories based on her personal experiences. It includes tips on co-parenting, budgeting, how to hire a lawyer and social changes to expect and how to move on after your breakup. The blog on Lisa’s website helps readers to get to know her and she also shares humorous and touching stories as well as the challenges she faced when she went through her own divorce. Lisa’s second book ‘A Divorce Companion’ is a collection of the best blog posts that is designed to provide the companionship one needs during a divorce. Some of Lisa’s tips for dealing with the anger you may be fe

So often when you are experiencing a breakup, divorce or separation you feel like you are swimming in play dough, your arms are moving but you are going no where. In this episode Tanya Somerton explores the benefits of working with a life coach and stylist, about gaining clarity on problems and issues you may have found elusive, some of the stigmas surrounding divorce, her book ‘The jelly bean jar’, working with both men and women and much more. Tanya Somerton is a divorce expert who together with her team of experts, work with clients to turn the trauma and pain of a divorce around and begin the journey to recovery. There can be a stigma associated with people who have been through a divorce, that there is something wrong with them, that they are not worthy of happiness, your future does not look bright. Tanya believes divorce does not mean the end of your life but it’s the start of something that can be amazing and wonderful. In Tanya’s book ‘The jelly Bean Jar’ Tanya reveals her blueprint for a successful

Tanya Somerton is a divorce specialist who together with her army of angles, navigate the divorce process to ensure the best possible outcome and framing the future success for clients that are going through a divorce. After experiencing the many challenges whilst going through her own divorce Tanya decided that the process should be more streamlined. She has developed a one-stop divorce shop where people only have to tell their story once and Tanya engages the necessary experts to work out the best strategy for her clients. Because divorce is so much more than going to a lawyer, and security both emotionally and financially is a priority for her clients Tanya works on a holistic approach and can look at the situation from a non-judgmental viewpoint and can advise a course of action based on the evidence. Tanya will look at a person’s portfolio of assets and together with a financial advisor and accountant will work out what is best for her client long term taking into account their goals for their future. Ta

This is Breakup Recovery’s 100th episode where I asked listeners to send in the questions that they wanted me to cover in this special episode. I shared my insights, tips and strategies on a number of topics ranging from ‘how do you stop loving some one so much?’, ‘how do I move on’, ‘should I follow them on social media’ and ‘the importance of you’. There are so many emotions that are going through your body after a breakup. You are possibly stuck and don’t know how to move forward, that is why you are listening to this podcast or reading articles, blogs and books to help you to recover and start to feel normal again. The hurt you are feeling can be so intense, you wonder if you will ever mend your broken heart and be happy again. I don’t think it is that easy to stop loving some one, especially if you have spent a lot of time with this person. Or if you have been blindsided by the breakup, you never saw it coming. It can be very difficult to one-day stop loving the person you thought you were going to spend

After enduring a lengthy, stressful and difficult divorce from her sociopath husband, Stacy Brookman enrolled in a memoir class that changed her life forever. Stacy found when writing her crazy stories down on a piece of paper, she was able to gain clarity about her situation and work out the necessary steps she had to take in order to recover and move on from her breakup. Writing out your stories after a traumatic and harrowing life situation, can give you insights into what has happened and the courage to move forward. Stacy believes that life storytelling is an incredibly powerful tool for personal transformation. Its not always about the gramma and punctuation, its about pulling the wool from over your eyes, seeing things in black and white so you can do something about your situation.   ‘Real life resilience’ is Stacy’s podcast and its mission is to tell stories of recovery from life’s most difficult trauma, and by example help people with tough life situations discover how to tell their own stories. You

Jill Sockwell and her co-author Suzanne Riss were both divorced and looking for advice that was uplifting, and inspiring. Answers that were realistic and true to life that they themselves could put into place so they could navigate this challenging process called divorce. They couldn’t find this advice or the resources to match their requirements, so they wrote their book ‘The Optimist’s Guide To Divorce’, which is a ‘how-to’ for people going through a divorce. Jill describes the divorce process as a marathon not a sprint and there can be a variety of solutions for the diverse challenges that divorce presents. Attitude is everything and it can be so easy to get caught up in the negatives, however if you try and look on the bright side, look for the best in this difficult situation then the process can be a little easier to deal with. Breaking up can be an isolating experience initially so Jill and Suzanne started their Maplewood Divorce club in March 2103 so that women could come together and support and help

Orion went through her own dark moments in life after her breakup from a very abuse partner. She was in a state of depression that lasted years until she found her own way to mend her heart and regain her strength. One of the strategies Orion shared in this podcast was mirror work. A very powerful approach that boosts your self-confidence and increases the love for yourself. Orion also explored some of the mistakes that single women can make when looking for love again, as well as the importants of self-care and reconnecting to you feminine side. Orion suggested when reconnecting to your spiritual side it is essential to do so from a place of love rather than from a place of fear. You can connect with Orion Talmay and find about more of what she has to offer and download her eBook ‘How to become a love magnet’ @ orionsmethod.com

Stephanie Dalfonzo offers some practical exercises that can quickly break up and change habits that are causing you to feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. Using these simple yet effective strategies and techniques can help bring you out of depression and into the present moment. Doing things differently does not have to be complicated, long or big, they just have to be of value. Like the restorative yoga pose of legs up the wall, even thought it’s a passive pose, combine it with controlled breathing helps lower anxiety and stress and calms the body. In this episode Stephanie shares real stories and antidotes and guides you through techniques that will release tension and help you to feel better both physically and emotionally. When you are in absolute overwhelm it can be difficult to change your habits but Stephanie has broken these habits into small bite size achievable routines. Stephanie’s website is stephaniedalfonzo.com

In times of crisis such as a breakup you need to find techniques and ways to deal with your emotions, if you don’t it is very easy to fall deeper into despair. Its not easy to move on when you are experiencing grief, stress and anxiety. In this episode Stephanie Dalfonzo explores the three P’s of pessimism that will keep you in a negative state of mind if you don’t work on making the simple shifts in your thought process to create lasting changes for the better. When you are going through a breakup it can be difficult to find gratitude, however if you end your day thinking of the things that you are grateful for then sleep may come a little easier for you. If you spend your time imagining the worst and focusing on what you don’t want and what might happen, then that is what will happen, you are attracting more negativity into your life. If you make small changes in your life, stopping the cycle of negativity you will move forward. You can find out more about Stephanie @ stephaniedalfonzo.com and her 4 coping

Accepting that your relationship is over and making the necessary adjustments to your life can be difficult. It’s human nature to resist change and to cling to comfort. However the more you resist the breakup, the harder it will be to heal and move on and the easier it will be to fall into depression and anxiety. Learning how to accept a breakup you didn’t want or expect doesn’t mean you have to resign yourself to being single or unhappy for the rest of your life. In this episode I offer some tips and ideas for you to take action and reclaim your identity so you can experience a bright future, heal and move on after your breakup.

Karen Covy is a divorce advisor, mediator, lawyer and divorce coach and her number one tip for people who are going through a divorce is to understand and educate yourself on what you are facing at the front end of your breakup so you will make better decisions during the process. In this episode Karen also shares the top three fears people experience when they are going through their breakups. Fear of not having enough money, fear of how the breakup will affect the children and fear that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. Karen also explores why you should set a goal or an outcome for what you want at the end the breakup process so you can better negotiate and accomplish what you set out to achieve by focusing on what is important to you. Karen’s website is https://karencovy.com