School Of Attraction Podcast

There's an increasing amount of pressure in the media to make men feel bad about their tastes in women.  But recently it's become clear to me that men who have a dating preference for specific races are being increasingly called out as racist. For many men this hit's a nerve - how can they be racist if they find that race sexy? After a fascinating conversation I had with an African woman last week, and spending the rest of the weekend researching the topic, I am aware that the formal research on the topic focusses entirely on the women, and not at all on the men and their perspective in the issue. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to ANY kind of woman - But sometimes, in fact OFTEN, there's more at play for men, than simply preferring one skin colour over another, and OFTEN, men express this in a way that makes women feel undervalued, and sometimes even unsafe. 

Do you get lucky with women often? What does it mean to get lucky? Is there really any luck involved? Is it all lucky? When you see a cute girl walking down the street, how much luck do you need to have for her to want to go on a date with you?  How much of a role does skill play? While it's true some of us men are more lucky in dating than others, there's a HUGE amount to be said about the relationship that we have towards luck and taking chances in life.  Some of us are willing to play the game and risk losing, while others are too afraid of loss to even take the chance and so ensure they're never lucky. One of the big secrets to attracting women, is knowing how to get lucky. 

How many times have you seen a beautiful woman and decided to walk away from her if she wasn't interesting enough? I am guessing you have almost never done this. AND YET - this is the exact reason so many men struggle to built attraction, especially around women they find particularly sexy. Women aren't attracted to men who like them just because they're cute. There has to be more than that, and women are most attracted to men when they feel like they had to work for his attention

Woman are really complicated, aren't they? Well... Maybe not - In fact, I'd argue that women are absolutely no more complicated than men. It's true that many men get frustrated with women when dating and flirting, it seems like she constantly changes her mind, and you can never work out what she's actually thinking, or why she does the things she does. As it turns out though - The problem isn't that women are complicated or unreliable, and more matter that men are raised to have a very dull emotional awareness, and this means that women who are raised to be more aware and expressive of their complex emotions FEEL complicated because we were never taught to truly understand our own emotions. This kind of emotional intelligence is crucial for men in life - not just for dating and relationships - but for friendships and work/life balance too. 

So you want to attract beautiful women?  Let me ask you a few quick questions to get you thinking... If you go on a date with a woman - is it a good or a bad idea to write her a text within an hour of saying goodbye saying "Hey, I had a really great time with you, I look forward to catching up again soon!"If you approach a cute girl in a bar, should you buy her a drink? If I'm on a first date, should I share my shortcomings with her - thus admitting to being weak sometimes - is that a bad dating strategy?You've probably heard of the rules of dating before, but did you know they're made to be broken?When you want to flirt with and meet cute girls, you don't always have to follow what everyone tells you you should do. 

Why is it that a disproportionate number of highly successful people invest in therapists?  Is it because they're more broken? Or is it because they know a secret most others don't?Many of us think that we should only see a therapist if we're broken or on the verge of hurting ourselves or others.... Or maybe if our lives are falling apart and we don't know how to get on track. But I see therapy as a form of emotional hygiene - like going to the gym, for your emotions. You learn how to grow as a human being, and process life's ups and downs - You learn coping strategies to become successful at almost anything you set your mind to. 

What can our past tell us about what women find attractive? Is it possible to look at our distant ancestors and consider what their lives looked like to help us to understand what a girl's DNA tells her to be turned on by? The Evolutionary Theory Of Attraction believes that by better understanding the sexual behaviours and pressures that would have been present while humans were evolving, that it would enable us to much better understand what women are likely to find attractive in modern man. But is this a reliable way to understand women? 

Do you have the experience of approaching women, trying your best to build attraction and flirt with them, but always feeling like a fish out of water? Like no matter how hard you work on your banter or rapport, you can never seem to build attraction with the girls you like? A lot of this could come down to what tribes these women are a part of, and what tribes you generally belong to yourself. Tribe theory of human socialisation is a fantastic lens through which to view the dating world and help you decide which woman you should approach who is most likely to want to date you. 

Do you struggle to have fun in social situations? Do you feel too boring for women to notice you? Do you hope that fun people will be around so you can have a good time and be more flirty?This isn't something buried in your genetics! This isn't even necessarily because you don't have a particular skill - It's connected to the relationship you have with your inner-child. Whenever we flirt with girls or go on dates with women, we are aware that we want to have fun and enjoy ourselves, and that if the women have fun around us that they'll be more likely to want to see us again. But HOW do you become more fun and funny? How can you be the kind of man who has fun wherever he goes, without relying on other people to bring the fun to him?ZOOM COACHING CALLS: https://schoolofattraction.com/phone-coaching/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=audio&utm_campaign=HowToHaveFun

You walk into a bar, and you see an older man dating a much younger woman - Is that guy a sleaze or a legend? Is he to be admired or scorned? Is he doing something inherently wrong? Or is he just following a biological imperative? It's easy to assume that women are just jealous that these men aren't interested in them once they approach their 30s.But actually, there is a fascinating level of complexity in the question of older men sleeping with and dating younger women and age gap relationships in general that most people don't consider. 

What is a simple daily lifestyle change you can make which will drastically reduce your shyness with girls AND your social anxiety? There are many reasons why the thought of approaching a cute girl will scare you and make you anxious - And believe it or not, it's a far more common problem than most men realise. But if you start to change your behaviours around both men and women on a day to day level - and just start having regular, innocuous conversations with the strangers you encounter in your day to day life, this can massively reduce your approach axniety. 

Are you sexually escalating at the wrong time?   If you're flirting with a girl, how long should you wait until you start trying to create sexual conversation or 'put the moves' on her? While it's true that a bit of sexual touch or sexual banter can definitely build attraction, sexual escalation is generally not an important factor for building attraction. Most men try to bring sexuality to the interaction long before it will help them. So if you're struggling to be successful with girls, then it could well be because you're sexually escalating too early. 

I'm going to share 3 extreme strategies you can use to drastically improve your confidence with women. These aren't your regular 'how to attract girls' videos, this is going to dive into some really radical ways you can give yourself a huge boost in results and self-esteem at the same time. So if you want to be more confident around girls - AND nothing you've tried so far has worked, this is the video for you. 

Are you sick of constantly being the one to chase after the women you want to date?   Wouldn't it be amazing if just for once, you could get women chasing after you instead?It's actually completely possible - in this video I'm going to share the strategies that I've been using with my clients since 2009 to get women chasing them. Knowing what women want and what turns them on is only a part of the puzzle - A truly successful man knows how to stop being needy, and instead focus on making her want him, making her want to get his approval. 

Most people walk around thinking that kink is usual.. or unhealthy.. or unnatural... But in actuality it's far more common to have sexual kinks than it is to be 100% bland and vanilla. But more importantly, discovering your kinds can launch you on a journey to discover who you really are, and what you really want from the world - there is a level of psychological catharsis to be found by discovering your kink. You'll also learn what so many men get wrong about their approach to sex, and how to leave women feeling like you're AMAZING in bed

We've all heard that nice guys finish last, but why does that have to be the case? What is it about nice guys that stops them getting the girl they want? Why do so many women take advantage of nice guys, and then leave them for some other jerk. Nice guy syndrome isn't about men being too nice, it's about men trying to be nice in order to get women to like them, which turns women off and prevents them from being attracted and wanting to become a girlfriend. 

Do you know the difference been knowing something and grokking it? What does mixing alcoholics and psychedelics teach us about life success?Did you know that grokking things is the key difference between success and failure? Whether you're trying to date more women, build a successful business, or lose weight - if you don't grok the solution, then you're going to struggling to get the results you want. In today's video, we're going to find out what you should NEVER try to accelerate your success journey too quickly - and why doing this can ensure that you can KNOW all the answers, but still never see any results. 

There's a lot of shame for men around exploring their sexuality - And this shame causes men to hide or avoid parts of themselves that are left begging to be explored. I interview Sex Therapist and Phd Dr Mandy as we explore the nature of sexuality and the sexual spectrum to try and uncover what it REALLY means for a man and his sense of masculinity and sense of self if he begins to explore his sexual tastes. 

Why are some men immune to getting low self-esteem, when so many others are struggling to feel like there's any hope for them in the dating world? It's harder for men now than any other time in history to find a partner, and yet some men overcome their adversity and still find success, while most struggle and feel helpless to change their situation. Martin Seligman, wrote about a condition known as learned helplessness in his famous book "learned optimism" - which not only explains how us guys became so frustrated and depressed about women and dating in general, but it clearly outlines ways to become more confident with women. 

Can an average man still attract women? Or has modern society doomed the average guy to a life of involuntary celibacy? I've been a dating coach for both men and women for 12 years now and I want to share with you the complete truth - I don't want to hold any punches, instead telling you exactly what an average man can and should expect. Trying to flirt with and date women is only a part of the puzzle, and there are many social and dating skills men need to learn. BUT who you are as a complete man is even more important, not just for finding a date and a girlfriend, but for really winning at life.