Probing Ancient Aliens

Are there pyramids hidden all over the world - under the ocean and sands - that are just lying there, waiting to be found? What could these hidden pyramids tell us about ancient cultures BEFORE ancient Egypt and Sumeria. Are there pyramids hidden under North and South America? What about the pyramids being uncovered in the Amazon rainforest as we cut down swaths of trees so we can have soy bean farms to feed cows so we can all eat hamburgers?!! Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut researchers sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooobe into Hidden Pyramids!

Did aliens have a strong influence over the outcome of the civil war? Did Abraham Lincoln communicate with extraterrestrial beings and see visions of George Washington that turned the tide of battle on more than one occasion? Did aliens give honest Abe constant premonitions of his death? Did the founding fathers believe in aliens? Was Moronai, the Mormonism-creating angel that communed with Joseph Smith, in fact, an ancient ET? We don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens and the Civil War!

Have ancient aliens been leaving us messages in petroglyphs, crop circles, architecture...and even our own DNA? What are they trying to tell us? I don’t have much to write because this episode of Ancient Aliens doesn’t have much to say - but you better believe our plucky ancient astronaut theorist THINK they have a lot to say...and Joey and Steve take every opportunity to pick it apart and point out the wet, dripping logic flaws in their hypotheses. Let’s prooooooooooooooobe into Alien Messages!

NOTE the Ep number change! We're still going in order of the show but we're trying to get back to the canonical episode order. Did ancient aliens cause the great flood that ravaged so many cultures thousands of years ago? Is the Book of Enoch and the dead sea scrolls the true key to unlock our understanding of the alien rebellion of the original fallen angels that mated with human women, in turn creating the Nephilim that, in turn created genetic abominations that were against the will of their alien brethren, in turn causing an extraterrestrial civil war that, in turn, caused the alien winners of that war to FLOOD THE WHOLE WORLD?! Also...Noah was an alien, right? Steve and Joey don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists definitely do...and they’re gettin’ REAL wet probing into The Great Flood!

Did Ancient Aliens teach primitive humans the power to resurrect themselves through mummification and zombiefication? Did Jesus body get transformed by astral forms of Jeremiah and Moses so it would resurrect into a physical manifestation with inter dimensional travel capabilities? Are near death experiences actually our quantum consciousness interacting with other beings that have transcended the physical realm and into the worlds of “spooky science at a distance” according to Einstein? Is this episode of Ancient Aliens extremely similar to literally the last episode about mummies? Steve and Joey aren’t sure about everything else before that last sentence, but you better believe there’s some lazy editing and repetitive content on the part of Prometheus Entertainment and their editors. Let’s proooooooooooooooooooobe into Alien Resurrections!

Did ancient aliens, posing as Egyptian gods, teach humanity the science of mummification in order to preserve human DNA? Did primitive people who were abducted aboard alien craft simply witness humanoid beings waking up in suspended animation pods and mistake this for “resurrection?” What about non-Egyptian mummies, like those of Peru, Russia and even Western Europe - were they all part of a global cultural shift brought on by ancient extraterrestrial bird-men who were later diefied in the form of Thoth and the Annunaki? Steve and Joey have no clue, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure think they do! Let’s proooooooooooooooooobe into Secrets of the Mummies!

What is the true nature of the world’s geniuses? Are their minds simply more highly evolved than others, or do they have some deeper connection to a higher level of consciousness? Is this “universal mind” actually an extraterrestrial cloud-based accumulation of knowledge that they can tap into while others can’t? Is there an ancient alien agenda where we’ve been guided from our primitive primate selves to the tech-savvy sapiens we are today...all so we can...be like them? We don’t know - but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure as hell think they do! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into The Genius Factor!

Are aliens watching our every move through our cell phones, computers, and other cloud-based devices? Have ancient extraterrestrials been guiding us on this technological journey simply to make it easier for them to have us under 24/7 surveillance? Was it Edward Snowden who truly broke open the Illuminati / Alien agenda in his famous 2013 leak? Who are The Watchers and how are they related to the angels in the Book of Enoch, the Islamic Jinn, the Sumerian Annunaki, and the Ant People of the Hopi? Steve and Joey sure don’t know, but our plucky ancient astronaut theorists sure as heck-fire think they do! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens Among Us!

Was Edgar Cayce’s prediction about the Atlantean Hall of Records being hidden under the Sphynx’s paw true? What secrets lie within the great limestone statue itself? Was the Sphynx’s tiny head once the larger head of a lion or Anubis, the Egyptian Jackal god? Is there a second Sphynx buried to the west of the great pyramids of Giza, as pictured on the Dream Stila? What of the greatest mystery of all: around the back of the Sphynx...archaeologist have never found the most elusive of holes: the Sphynx-ter. Steve, Joey and our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists go DEEP into the hidden knowledge of that most ancient wonder of the world in this ep: let’s proooooooooooooobe into the Mysteries of the Sphynx!

PATREON PEEK: Adventurous Ghosts - Houton Mansion by Probing Ancient Aliens

Our plucky ancient astronaut theorists try tell us why caves are magical and why aliens and Jesus and Zeus all hang out there! It’s self-evident that I can’t even write into quippy shit with questions that can’t be answered by just saying “caves were the original shelter.” Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens and Forbidden Caves!

Are superheroes simply symbolic off-spring of ancient aliens coming to the Earth as gods, helping primitive man to fight against the evil forces of the galaxy? Is the kabla (aka Illuminati) actually responsible for “turning off” our X-Men like genetic markers for super powers so that we remain weak, suppressed, and dependent on technology THEY control? Are Batman and Iron Man actually the true realization of ancient extraterrestrials who used advanced technology to seem divine...but were simply using highly evolved tech? Steve and Joey don’t know...but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Researchers sure as heck seem to! They even got Stan Lee to comment during this episode - does he make us TRUE BELIEVERS in super powered ET’s?!!! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into Aliens & Superheroes!

Joseph Smith...Mohammed...David Parkinson (huh?), Moses, Constantine, Queen Elizabeth - all of these players on the world stage had raw, extreme encounters with the divine...but were these deities simply flesh and bolts extraterrestrials with a direct interest and guiding hand in the events of human history? Did aliens cause the storm that ended the Spanish Armada’s attack on England in the 16th century? Did an extraterrestrial craft pick up Moses on Mt. Sinai and imbue him with a divine alien force? As the angel Moronai said: “I’m not an angel, I’m a full-on alien!”...or something to that effect. Either way, our plucky ancient astronaut theorists have the skinny - and the fatty! - on the major meetups between ET and man - let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooooooobe into Alien Encounters!

It’s the Probing Ancient Aliens recap of Alien Con Los Angeles 2019! Steve and Joey spent two stellar days at the LA Downtown Convention Center, only minutes away from where the LA Lakers play ball...but they were concerned with other kinds of spheres: planets, multiverses, stars, atoms, and the frequencies at which they all vibe out the loads. The boys went more obscure this year, skipping over most of Tsouks and the gang (though leaving ample room for their Galactic Daddy David Hatcher Childress!) and attending panels on podcasts, quantum consciousness, and an Atlantean spirit channeler who spoke through an inner earth spirit named Vywamus who unlocked our true energetic potential. Plus...a distinct and unfortunate lack of hot dogs throughout the weekend, leaving gaping holes in their hearts, yearning and pulsing for convention center food but never to be filled or satisfied. Let’s prooooooooooobe into Alien Con 2019!

Was the Higgs-Boson particle discovery in 2012 merely a RE-discovery of physics implanted in the Vedic texts of ancient India? Did the ancient Greek philosopher, Democritus, learn how to telepathically communicate with advanced beings in the astral planes from the Magi and Egyptian Mystery priests? Did modern scientists like Nikolai Tesla, Albert Einstein, and Robert Oppenheimer get the idea for the Big Bang from the Vedas opening chapter concerning the “Cosmic Egg” from which all light and matter sprung? Now that the Higgs-Boson has been observed at the large hadron collider at CERN - is humanity getting into more dangerous territory by adding more and more power to this particle accelerator - so much so that we might create a giant black hole that destroys our entire solar system? We don’t know, but our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists sure have all the answers! Let’s prooooooooooooooooooooobe into The God Particle!

Our plucky ancient astronaut theorists probe deep into the “mad scientist” Nikolai Tesla - the patron saint of hipsters and original creator of most of our technology today. Was this troubled genius actually an agent of extraterrestrials, with inventions being downloaded like a hologram to his mind? Was his unique brain able to access the Akashic Record - gaining tidbits of knowledge that only hyperdimensional beings can comprehend? Was he robbed of his greatest accolades by jealous peers who feared his competitive edge? Not sure what else there is to be said about ol’ Nik, but Tsoukalos, Childress, Wilcock and the gang sure do try! Let’s proooooooooooooooooooooooooooobe into The Tesla Experiment!

The boys took a trip to the transcendant Contact in the Desert 2019 event in Indian Wells, CA for a whopping 4 days - resulting in an 3 hour mega-podcast recapping their adventures! An intimate conversation with David Hatcher Childress, the realization that David Wilcock is the most arrogant man to walk the Multiverse, did Steve finally find love, and plenty of people watching galore can all be heard on this very spiritual episode about a very spiritual convention. Let's proooooooooooooooooobe into Contact in the Desert!

Sorry we're late with this episode! Our plucky ancient astronaut theorists probe deep into the annals of the oft-conspiracized race of Reptillian extraterrestrials that are shadow-ruling our entire planet. Who were they? Why were they cast out as villains of a great alien civil war? Are they behind the hybridization of humanity? Are they good or evil? Let's prooooooooooobe into these cold blooded killers and see what makes the Reptilians tick!

Another re-hash, another dollar the History Channel seems to be saying here with another “special edition” episode of Ancient Aliens! Faces of the gods pulls almost exclusively old footage and provides little to no new content whatsoever - but that’s ok! If you’re new to the show than you’ll get a nice little re-cap of all the questionable conspiracy theories Tsoukalos, Childress and the gang put out into the galaxy year after year! So if you want to know what aliens look like, then let’s prooooooooooooooooooooooobe into Faces of the Gods!

Like old chopped potatoes at breakfast, our plucky Ancient Astronaut Theorists are serving up re-hashed leftovers in this “Special Edition” episode that was likely used to fill the March 2014 - July 2014 gap in Season 8. But not to worry your charming little selves! We’ve got burrito talk, we’ve got Mum’s cream, we’ve got Baghdad Batteries powering pyramid microwaves and even a special appearance by (the words) Ava Devine! And if you like feta cheese, fettuccine, or just plain’ ol’ pita bread, we’ve got you covered in LOADS of fresh room temperature gooey content! Let’s prooooooooooooooobe into Mysterious Devices aka the a re-edited version of “Alien Tech!”