Mind Revolution

I had a call this week with a client, and I could tell that something was off. She seemed angry yet insisted that everything was okay. You see, she considers herself fortunate because she’s in a safe neighborhood. While she’s saddened by all that’s going on in the world related to people feeling disenfranchised, she has been counting her blessings and being thankful that her area hasn’t been as negatively impacted as others.  So what was this negativity I was sensing from her? This agitation, anger? I could see it in her countenance. I kept probing, and it finally came out: her mother, who had lived nearby, was moving away. And when it came out, the tears flowed. By the time we ended our conversation, she had worked through the negative emotions, and we were laughing and smiling. She was at peace.  Your emotions matter. Emotions are your unconscious mind communicating with you. It’s true -- your emotions are essentially your unconscious mind having a conversation with your conscious mind...if you’ll let it. T

Humans are designed to grow and evolve. Growth is part of the beautiful human experience.  So, why is change so hard then?  There’s a sort of tug-of-war going on. On the one hand, we need a certain level of safety and security, and so we’re programmed with a desire for the familiar and predictable.  On the other hand, growth and change happen. It’s an inevitable part of life. In fact, it will happen with or without our consent. And believe me, it’s better to initiate growth on your own terms than to have life do it for you.  The truth is that your unconscious mind, which is tapped into the superconscious mind, knows when you’re ready to evolve. Have you ever sensed nudges from your unconscious mind, that sense of restlessness, or discontent?  Sometimes when we sense the nudges we’ll try to rekindle the flames of a strategy that worked for us in the past. But the results are never the same. We just don’t work that way. In those instances, what we need is real growth, not a re-do of something from the past.  Ti

As you probably know, I’ve been working on a new course on prosperity and abundance, and it’s impossible to do that work without reflecting on my own journey from severe poverty to abundance. In today’s episode, I share my personal story so that you can understand where I’ve been, how much I’ve had to overcome to get to where I am today, and that the tools that I teach, preach, and live by really do work.  My story is one of dirt walls and a dirt floor...no indoor plumbing...feeling abandoned by my dad when he left my mom...feeling abandoned by my mom when she left Mexico to seek a better life for herself, my little brother, and I...delivering freshly cleaned laundry, on foot, through the streets of Tijuana with my grandmother...eating discarded bread scraps from a local restaurant that previously fed them to their dogs...immigrating to America as a preteen...culture shock...eating disorders...a failed marriage… My rough background left me with a lot of hurt and a lot of limiting beliefs. But I had a few thin

Few of us grew up in environments of prosperity and abundance. I certainly didn’t. And what I’ve learned over the years is that those of us who didn’t grow up in a near-constant state of prosperity have limiting beliefs around money and abundance. And we can break free from limiting situations when we can break free from their corresponding limiting beliefs. Prosperity has to be cultivated. We have to work to create it in our lives...and the work that I’m talking about begins with changing our beliefs and focus.  In today’s episode I share five practices for cultivating prosperity in your life. Here we go… Be mindful of your thoughts, especially the automatic, negative ones. Remember that the unconscious mind brings into your experience only and exclusively the essence of your focus. Use our free resources to rewrite each negative thought and limiting belief. When you begin to focus on what you want, you’ll find that you have more of the essence of that thing in your life experience. Instead of focusing on w

I’ve lost count of the number of weeks we’ve been in this pandemic, this time of elevated uncertainty. When we find ourselves in uncertain times, our minds seek security and comfort. That makes total sense, is natural, and is to be expected. We need to comfort ourselves during this time.  But what we need to be careful about is sacrificing our future happiness for feeling good in the moment.  What does happiness look like anyway? It’s easy to think that it’s the achieving of a goal, crossing some sort of finish line. But when we dig deep, we find that real happiness is found when we’re living in congruence -- that is, when our conscious and unconscious minds are aligned with the superconscious mind and are in pursuit of our life values and goals. That is true happiness. It’s not in the achieving, per se. It’s in living out who we’re meant to be.  This uncertain time, though, leaves many seeking comfort from sources that, on the other side of “enjoying” them, don’t feel good at all. Hello, eating the whole piz

As you know, a big part of my work involves harnessing the power of the unconscious mind. But retaining our focus requires a lot of repetition. It’s not hard. It just takes a time investment. After all, we’re usually having to address decades-old neural programming.  I’ve been creating a course, and part of the development process is having some clients take the material for a test drive and give me their feedback. Since the first audio in the series is addressing the unconscious mind directly and setting the stage, the audio was on the long side. 47-ish minutes long. Can you guess the feedback I got?   “Do you have a shorter version of this?” “I don’t have a 47-minute block of time.” “This is too long. The kids are hungry, and the dog is barking.” In case you don’t already know, I love getting to the bottom of things, so, naturally, I launched an investigation with four clients who “didn’t have enough time.”  Here’s what I found… “Not enough time” wasn’t the issue. They were spending time on unresourceful th

Last week we talked about four common lies that can keep us feeling stuck, and we listed the truths you can use to combat those lies. This week we’re taking on three more lies and the corresponding truths that will send the lies packing.  Why are we doing this? Because being hunkered down during coronavirus is hard. It messes with our sense of what’s normal, and it’s easy to fall prey to the negative. Hopefully the content here shifts you toward the positive and/or gives you a lightbulb moment that feels empowering. And, hey, I’m right here with you. Though I’m congruent most of the time, I have my moments, and we need to extend grace to ourselves and pack in the positive truths, especially during this time.  So let’s get to it. Lie #1: “You have to be, do, or have something in order to be loved.” “If only I was ________, then I could feel loved.” “When I achieve _________, then things will be different.” No, friend, love is unconditional. You are loved already. You are loved, period. You were loved from th

For the last couple of episodes, we’ve talked about what beautiful things can transpire when the conscious, unconscious, and superconscious minds intersect. Most of the time, we’re not aware of the connection we have with the superconscious mind (what some call the “higher self” or the “soul”). Aware of it or not, the connection is always there.  Your superconscious mind is tapped into all of the goodness and energy of the universe. Being led by the superconscious mind is where you’ll find your highest purpose and the most fulfillment. You may find yourself feeling inspired, desiring to see change and move in the direction of your big dreams or a higher purpose….only to find that you feel stuck. Feeling stuck often comes from lies we tell ourselves that leave us feeling deflated and disempowered. Today’s episode addresses a few of the lies we’re prone to believe. Lie #1: “You can’t overcome your past mistakes.”  This lie shows up in the form of guilt and regret. To get past this lie, recognize that we’re al

We’ve talked about pattern interrupts before. It’s a tool we use in NLP to get out of neural ruts, to break out of those processes that we run automatically that aren’t serving us.  A pattern interrupt is a powerful tool for retraining your unconscious mind.  In these days of hunkering at home while we wait out this virus, the universe has basically given us a big ‘ol pattern interrupt! (See my optimistic side coming out here?) Many of us have noticed some less-than-desirable things that, in our normal day-to-day routine, we were blinded to.  Hello, opportunity!  You may be seeing areas in your life where you seem to be stuck. They might be unhealthy habits or thought patterns or just that sense that you know something valuable is missing. You’re seeing, perhaps more than ever, that you’re not living your best life.  How do you know if you’re stuck? Check your…. EMOTIONS. Are you feeling good? Where is your focus? Does what you’re focusing on feel good?   BELIEFS. Identify beliefs that don’t serve you. Remem

During this pandemic, many are growing weary of being stuck at home. They’re having to adjust to a new way to life; their plans have been disrupted; there’s a lot of negativity all around; the people around us are stretched thin… It’s a hard place to be. There’s a lot in our environment over which we have little control.  But you can control how you feel.  Really, Brenda? Even in times like this? Yes! No head burying in the sand needed. This episode is not about denying reality or pretending life is something it’s not. It’s about taking control of your state, moment by moment. I have a lot of tools for breaking out of negative patterns to feel better. I’ve narrowed this episode down to 7 things you can do now to not only save your sanity in this current crisis; you’ll simultaneously be setting yourself up for a more fulfilling life on the other side of all this.  Acknowledge negative thoughts and feelings but don’t let them run their course. Interrupt them! We’ve talked about pattern interrupts before. Get o

I regularly meet with and talk with people who are living in fear. No, I’m not talking about fear of the coronavirus. These people are living in fear because they know that they are not living their purpose. They know their life could mean more, that they could feel more fulfilled. Essentially they are living with a sense of future regret. They are afraid that they’ll one day look back with regret that they said no to their true self.  One thing all these people have in common is they know deep down that they’re special, that they have a unique purpose and a calling. We all do. Each of us is here for a reason. The more tuned in we are to our spiritual side, the easier it is to recognize when we’re on our “purpose” path and when we’re not. I talk a lot about the conscious and unconscious mind, but in this episode, I also talk about the heart, that part of each of us that is connected to the Super Conscious Mind and gives us our drive, our passion, our desires. In today’s episode we discuss the importance of th

There’s no doubt about it -- COVID-19 has brought more widespread turmoil into our world than I’ve ever seen. Unless you’re a self-sufficient hermit living an unplugged lifestyle, you can’t get away from the news about what to do, what not to do, the effects, the graphs, the new rules, the fear, anguish, and anxiety.  You’ve been hearing me tell you repeatedly that you are going to bring into your experience the essence of your focus. Now what? You can’t get away from this negativity -- not without burying your head in the sand.  We are essentially living at effect. Something outside of ourselves is determining our circumstances.  if you’re a highly suggestible person like me, watch how much goes in. Of course, you need to be informed, but don’t feed the fear all day long. Exercise restraint around how much you let in. Recognize that you’re at effect and out of balance. When that happens, there’s tension in the body, begging for some certainty, belonging, safety...for the sense that “everything is going to be

So you’ve decided you’re not happy with something (or maybe many things) in your current life, and you want to make a change.  You get inspired by me or by some other motivating person. Maybe you read a self-help book or attend a conference. Maybe you hire a coach, go on a retreat, or join an online group. At some point you finish the book, or the conference or retreat ends, or you walk out the doors of your coaching session. And then reality hits.  No one else can make the change for you. It’s up to you. This episode is about how to follow through with your intentions instead of getting sucked back into comfortable patterns that will keep you stuck. Whenever you want to make a change, there’s an internal tug-of-war going on between two sides of yourself. There’s the you who wants to change. Then there’s the you who prefers the ease of what’s always been. After all, doing the same thing is predictable, comfortable, and, though it might not be great, it’s familiar.  Some things to help you follow through with

It feels good to get this one out. I’ve been holding onto this episode for a while now, waiting until the time felt right. And its time has finally come. Most of you have heard my story by now and know that I’ve had to overcome some pretty big hurdles to get where I am today. My clients are the same way. We all have stuff from our past that, if dwelt upon, would just leave us stuck. I’m talking about bad experiences, wrongs committed against us, bad luck, injustices, accidents -- all of that. But that was then and this is now.  By holding onto past injuries, we rob ourselves of the present life we could be living. If we ruminate on past injustices and stew in bitterness or feelings of helplessness, we’re just reliving those old memories and reactivating neural patterns of pain and negativity. To our unconscious mind, we’re reliving the past, reinjuring ourselves, over and over again.  It doesn’t have to be this way. I’m living proof, as are my clients. And you can be too. To get out of the negative past and i

We’re social creatures, and we have an innate need to connect with others. But did you ever notice that one of the ways many people connect with others is through complaining? Girlfriends like to get together and gripe about their husbands. Golf buddies complain about work and business. The elderly complain about aches and pains. Parents complain about their difficult children.    Social complaining is an easy trap to fall into.   It’s a trap because falling into complaining focuses the mind on...you guessed it. The negative. And you know what happens when you focus on something. You get more of it!    Complaining is really just self-sabotage.    The act of complaining is detrimental in many ways. It focuses the mind on the negative, reinforcing those negative neural networks. Focusing on problems just strengthens our negativity bias, which stems from the most primitive part of our brain, activating the fight-flight response and all the bodily responses that come with that -- increased blood pressure, increas

Today we’re talking about an important investment. No, I’m not talking about finances today. I’m talking about something much, much more important than that. The most important investment in your life. It’s you. We’re talking about investment in self. I know, I know... Reading that probably rubs you the wrong way. The problem is that we’re conditioned to think that focusing on self means being self-absorbed. That is absolutely incorrect. When you take care of your needs first, only then can you bring your best to the people -- to the world -- around you. When you’re focused on responding to the needs of those around you, you’re going to find yourself running on empty with little to nothing of substance to give to those around you. Oh, and you’ll likely be frustrated, pouty, discouraged, or in a funk...wishing your circumstances and/or the people around you would change.  What you’re really longing for is control of yourself. And no one can give you that...but you.    Let’s play a little mind game.    Here’s s

We’re more than a month into the new year. How are you doing on your New Year’s Resolutions? If you’re like most of us, you’ve hit some bumps in the road.  Maybe you’ve lacked consistency. Maybe you’re feeling discouraged. Or maybe you’re feeling like you bit off more than you can chew and you’re ready to throw in the towel. To that, I say NO WAY! Reject-delete that idea. You started out with a clean slate and a lot of excitement and momentum...and now it’s getting really tough. Why? Because our old neurological patterns typically outperform that desire to create change. But that doesn’t mean those patterns can’t be changed. It just means that wishing for them to change is not enough. We have to take action. So today we’re talking about how to keep going when the going gets tough. No, it’s not just you. Anyone who is trying to make changes has the same uphill battle. The key is to keep taking action consistently and repeatedly.   When you’re trying to implement new habits and reach goals… Remember that you’r

I’ve told you before how there’s often a uniform undercurrent in my work with my clients, a subject or a theme that most of them are working on. Right now that theme is confidence. And confidence is all about taking action. It’s easy to confuse self-esteem with confidence, as the two do go together, yet they’re different. So let’s review… Think of self-esteem as the set of beliefs you have about yourself. Self-esteem is a regard for self that has been developed over time and is an outgrowth of your experiences and what you’ve learned. Your self-esteem is directly related to your sense of self-worth. Confidence is the sense of knowing that you can do something well. It is an outgrowth of action. It’s an outgrowth of learning, of hard work, of practicing and honing your skillset. Perhaps the ultimate sense of confidence is in knowing that you can learn whatever you set your mind to learn. That valuable skill can breed success over and over and over again. To build confidence… Remember that you are unique. Nobod

You’ve heard me talk about the Mathematical Theory of Communication a time or two. Okay, it’s probably more than that. But it’s for good reason, as you’ll see in today’s episode. We talk about being at cause, about living the life you want to live, about creating your own reality essentially...and all that stems from harnessing your 50 to 60 bits of information. What 50 to 60 bits? Here’s a quick refresher. Your unconscious mind processes 2 to 11 million bits of information per second while your conscious mind only processes 50 to 60 of those bits. Only 50 to 60 of those bits reach your awareness. Here’s the kicker -- you get to choose which 50 to 60 bits reach your awareness. This is powerful, because your internal representations -- how you interpret outside events -- is determined by those 50 to 60 bits.  Now, we all have a negativity bias. Our brain is designed to protect us, to look out for the bad stuff, to anticipate worst-case scenarios. If we want to see the positive, we’ve got to focus on the positi

For the last couple of weeks we’ve been talking about decluttering our physical and mental spaces. Today we’re continuing that discussion, especially as it relates to carving out time and space for you -- for your goals, for your dreams, for your growth to become the person you want to be. After all, if you don’t plan your time and decide what you’re going to focus on, chances are someone else will do it for you. There was a time when that was okay. That’s what all good adults do for the children in their care. They plan their time. They tell them what not to do, what to do, how and when to do it.  The result is that we get accustomed to complying to the wishes of others, to saying yes, even when we think we know better. And let’s be honest, when you were a kid, you probably didn’t know better, and you learned that things went better for you when you just did what you were told. But now you’re an adult. And you know you better than anyone else. It no longer makes sense to say yes when it’s better for you to s